1-If I'm not the first all other positions are the same .
2-Do what you need to do. Think what is good for you. Be a better person then before. You are competing yourself. Don't ever quit & constantly strive until you succeed. If you got hurt by someone then pray to god to give what is best for him/her. If you haven't did anything bad to anyone then you don't have to worry a lot. Be proud about yourself for how great person you are. Go to sleep with your dreams & wake up with purpose. In making this as routine, you will be living the life the way it should be lived.
3-Hurting someone who really cares for you is as easy throwing stone in the lake; but you don't know how deep that stone goes