Excited greeting,
Obvious statement about my life followed by a dramatically over-exaggerated comment about one personal attribute.
Unnecessary comment regarding a section of society I have dubbed as filth followed by a culturally insensitive slur unintentionally denouncing me as just as bad as those I detest.
Satirical comment regarding the education system and my parents with an overly affectionate comment about someone I spend most of my time with but actually hate.
Extremely homosexual sign-off followed by too many kisses for the human eye to keep track of when counting.