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Capitalism is God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor.   - Ron Swanson

There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-old kid's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel. The other is a book about orcs. - John Rogers


There are several ways to kill a zombie. But the most satisfying one is to stab it in the brain, with a wooden stick. - Dwight K. Schrute

At a certain age, a woman has to choose between her butt and her face. You can have a good face and have 

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