The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. I discovered the meaning of life but neglected to write it down.
Those who know me pretend they don't ....
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more effective in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my God-like trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I cook. I am an expert in wh