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Editor's Notes

• #3: Personality Vs. Character Ethic Paradigm Shifts and Maps Principles, Natural Laws and Reality Habits Maturity Continuum P/PC
• #5: “Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits.” Why Habits? “Habits are consistent, unconscious patterns that express our character and produce our effectiveness or ineffectiveness.” “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” Knowledge: the what to do and why Skill: the how to do Desire –the want to do (motivation) Why does AA work? Its not science, it’s a new habit, and the people in your life to help you overcome your weakness when it happens (because it will), its process and retraining the automatic processes in your brain. How Habits Form It turns out that every habit starts with a psychological pattern called a "habit loop," which is a three-part process. First, there's a cue, or trigger, that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and let a behavior unfold. "Then there's the routine, which is the behavior itself," Duhigg tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross. "That's what we think about when we think about habits.“ The third step, he says, is the reward: something that your brain likes that helps it remember the "habit loop" in the future. The Power of Habit Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg Hardcover, 371 pages
• #6: Proactivity: taking responsibility for our own lives (78) Behavior is a function of decisions We can subordinate feelings to values and principles We can choose our response Story of Job – things can hurt us, but our response is what defines our character. Eleanor Roosevelt: no one can hurt you without your consent Ghandi – they cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them Exercise Question: Think of an area in your life where you have allowed yourself to blame someone or something? Or you could take a more proactive response?
• #7: Leadership vs. Management – Covey’s view Leadership deals with what I want to accomplish Management deals with how to best accomplish them Leaders direct people to the right paradigm, managing helps them work within it To get to your end – you have to start to envision it now and address the important issues you will face as you become self aware.
• #8: A simple tool for personal effectiveness
• #9: What is Interdependence? The Interdependence Continuum: We begin life as dependent We grow to be independent We grow to achieve interdependence physically, mentally, emotionally, financialy etc… All of nature is interdependent… Dependence is the paradigm of you – you take care of me Independence is the paradigm of I – I can do it myself Interdependence is the paradigm of we – we can do it when we combine talents, abilities, etc … As a city – you are in an interdependent relationship with your constituency – can you think of some situations where this is particularly true? (resources, accomplishing meeting needs, etc…) 2. Roots Before Fruits “You cant talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into.” Independence leads to true self respect – it is an achievement. Independence (first 3 habits) is a foundation, the roots of the tree. You have to master yourself before your relationships will succeed. “The Most important ingredient we put into any relationships is not what we say or what we do, but what we are.” “The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves.” 3. Emotional Bank Accounts Deposits are courtesies, kindnesses, keeping commitments and promises, listening without judging… Withdrawals are the exact opposite… 6 major deposits: Understanding the individual Attend to the little things Keep Commitments Clarify Expectations Show personal integrity Apologize Sincerely 4. Problems as Opportunities A paradigm shift that reflects our mastery of becoming proactive and a focus on teaching it to others.
• #10: Teach: 1) Six Paradigms of Human Interaction: Win/Win – frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit, sees life as cooperative, not competitive; based on the paradigm of plenty (plenty for everyone) Win/Lose – in leadership this is the authoritarian approach; it is “I get my way, you don’t get yours” People use whatever they can, power, position, influence, personality, possessions to get their way. Lose/Win: I lose, you win because I give up or don’t have the courage to stand up for myself Lose/Lose: often 2 people focused on win lose, but neither has the courage or consideration to find a mutually agreeable solution Win: secure your own and don’t worry about anyone else Win/Win or No Deal: A higher form of Win/Win when you can walk away if you don’t agree, not always possible in work or all relationships 2) 5 Dimensions of Win/Win Character Relationships Agreements Structure and Systems 3) Three character traits of Win/Win Courage Consideration Abundance Mentality 4) Win/Win Diagram (showing the courage and consideration scale) 3)
• #11: 5 Dimensions of Win/Win It begins with Character Moves toward Relationships Results in Agreements Nurtured in an environment where processes (structure) and Systems support win/win Three character traits of Win/Win Courage Consideration Abundance Mentality 3)
• #12: Teach: 1) Six Paradigms of Human Interaction: Win/Win – frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit, sees life as cooperative, not competitive; based on the paradigm of plenty (plenty for everyone) Win/Lose – in leadership this is the authoritarian approach; it is “I get my way, you don’t get yours” People use whatever they can, power, position, influence, personality, possessions to get their way. Lose/Win Lose/Lose Win Win/Win or No Deal 2) 5 Dimensions of Win/Win Character Relationships Agreements Structure and Systems 3) Three character traits of Win/Win Courage Consideration Abundance Mentality 4) Win/Win Diagram (showing the courage and consideration scale) 3)
• #13: The skills, the tip of the iceberg of empathic listening, involve four developmental stages.   1) The first and least effective is to mimic content. This is the skill taught in “active” or “reflective” listening. Mimicking content is easy. You just listen to the words that come out of someone’s mouth and you repeat them.   2) The second stage of empathic listening is to rephrase the content. It’s a little more effective, but it’s still limited to the verbal communication.   3) The third stage brings your right brain into operation. You reflect feeling.   4) The fourth stage includes both the second and the third. You rephrase the content and reflect the feeling. Now, what happens when you use fourth stage empathic listening skills is really incredible. As you authentically seek to understand, as you rephrase content and reflect feeling, you give him psychological air. You also help him work through his own thoughts and feelings. As he grows in his confidence of your sincere desire to really listen and understand, the barrier between what’s going on inside him and what’s actually being communicated to you disappears.    
• #14: What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.   It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.   The essence of synergy is to value differences—to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses.   life—creating an environment that is truly fulfilling for each person, that nurtures the self-esteem and self-worth of each, that creates opportunities for each to mature into independence and then gradually into interdependence?   The more authentic you become, the more genuine in your expression, particularly regarding personal experiences and even self-doubts, the more people can relate to your expression and the safer it makes them feel to express themselves. That expression in turn feeds back on the other person’s spirit, and genuine creative empathy takes place, producing new insights and learnings and a sense of excitement and adventure!  
• #15: The more authentic you become, the more genuine in your expression, particularly regarding personal experiences and even self-doubts, the more people can relate to your expression and the safer it makes them feel to express themselves. That expression in turn feeds back on the other person’s spirit, and genuine creative empathy takes place, producing new insights and learnings and a sense of excitement and adventure that keeps  
• #17: Now that we are