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Editor's Notes

• #3: Nova Franklin I’m currently a Principal at Meld Studios. We help some of Australia’s biggest companies to engage their customers and their staff. This often entails imagining new futures for themselves. Psychologist Worked in complex organisations doing Organisation Design, HR, Change Management changing behaviour since 1994. Finding and keeping the good people Working to help senior leaders engage their people Helping people work stay focused at work. Last year I designed a program called “Mastering Engaging Conversations” to help people navigate the relationships with those around them. At it’s heart the program is all about developing trusting relationships. Listening is a foundational part of this. The concept we are going to talk about today is part of that course.
• #5: We are all in some way mothers, lovers, brothers as well as designers. We don’t live in a vacuum. Most of us interact with other humans every day. People can tell when you are not listening. It makes them feel uncomfortable, sometimes they get cross and they shut down the conversation. Our ability to connect is then diminished. As a designer (as well as a regular human) this can have diabolical consequences. BUT - Magic happens when you really start to listen to others.
• #6: I want you to reflect for a moment on a conversation you’ve had where the other person really really listened to you. What did they do? Most people can tell you what good listeners do. This includes Eye contact Smiling Nodding Open body language Using words that show they are listening - e.g. hmm, tell me more, what I just heard you say is…
• #7: Now think about a conversation you’ve had where the other person didn’t really listen to you. What did they do? OK so what do poor listeners do…They: don’t make eye contact look at their screens have closed body language appear to not hear what you say interrupt They don’t really engage in a conversation because they are too distracted
• #9: Think versus say… This is about faking it till you make it. When you say to yourself “this person has something really important to say” the amazing thing is that you start to believe it. You actually lean in. You ARE interested. Instead of being bored, or short of time, of of thinking about how much you dislike this person, you actually start to display all of the traits people study to become good listeners - eye contact, open body language, asking the right questions.
• #10: While this is deceptively simple the important thing to remember is that for it to work you need to make it a habit so that you can remember to use the trick when you realise that you are leaning away from someone. Practice makes perfect. Try every day for 30 days… Consider trying on your parents, children, colleagues, customers. Write a note somewhere to remind yourself Remember not to be too creep (it happens sometimes when people first try this out)