Lesson 1 Are We Ready notes
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This document summarizes information from a course on successful stepfamilies. It provides the top 10 qualities of highly satisfied remarriage couples, which include healthy communication, resolving conflicts, shared leisure activities, and managing finances. It also lists common challenges stepfamilies face like dealing with children from previous relationships and different parenting styles. The document recommends couples assess their relationship strengths and areas for growth to create a plan for overcoming issues.
Lesson 1 Are We Ready notes
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- 2. This excellent book is available on Amazon.ca for as low as $14.24 2
- 3. Imagine all these people in the stadium are experienced step parents. This course includes their collective wisdom and experience published 3
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- 5. A study of 50,000 couples revealed the Top 10 qualities of Highly satisfied Remarriage couples: (p 28) Satisfaction with and acceptance of the personality of your partner Healthy communication Ability to resolve couple conflict Shared couple leisure activity Strong couple flexibility and adaptability Good financial management and shared values for handling money Health sexuality and affection within the relationship Positive shared friendships and healthy boundaries with extended family that support the couple Successful management of the complexities of living in a step family Positive couple closeness and emotional safety. 5
- 6. On a scale of 1(low) and 10 (excellent) grade your relationships on each of the Top ten Qualities: share your answer personally with your partner Decide which item requires attention first Create a written plan to overcome the issue measure and share your results weekly (I.e on a date night) 6
- 7. Some interesting statistics regarding marriage nearly half of all marriages do not survive An additional 25% of marriages that dont end in divorce are DISSATISFYING Second marriages crash and burn 60 % of the time Third marriages crash and burn 73 % of the time Couples bringing children into the new family divorce 50% more than those with no children 7
- 8. This course if offered to change those statistics and help us become a successful step family. The health of each of the step parents and the ability to manage the attributes and actions on our children are the two defining attributes that make or break a step family. Remarriage is not only about the couples' ability to cope with change, but also about our past and our children in the present. 8
- 9. Remarriage is not only about the couples' ability to cope with change, but also about our past and our children in the present. ** See couple's positioning system (CPD) @ couplecheckup.com ($29.95) Screen capture at https://www.couplecheckup.com/webapp/checkup/take_assessment/template/Displ aySecureContent.vm?id=checkup_main_site_content*assessment*TakeAssessment.h tml&set_widget_lang=ENGLISH 9
- 10. Key Strengths of Highly Satisfied Remarriage Couples 1. Satisfaction with and acceptance of the personality of your partner. 2. Healthy communication. 3. An ability to resolve couple conflict. 4. Shared couple leisure activity. 5. Strong couple flexibility and adaptability. 6. Good financial management and shared values for handling money. 7. Healthy sexuality and affection within the relationship. 8. Positive shared friendships and healthy boundaries with extended family that support the couple. 9. Successful management of the complexities of living in a stepfamily. 10. Positive couple closeness and emotional safety. 10
- 11. Top Ten Statements Predicting Health Items are in order of how closely they relate to couple satisfaction. 1. One partner's moodiness is not an issue in our relationship. 2. Each of us feels understood by the other. 3. We are able to resolve our differences. 4. We enjoy many of the same leisure activities. 5. We are creative in how we handle our differences. 6. We agree on how to spend money. 7. Affection is used fairly in our relationship and sexuality is healthy. 8. Neither of us is overly involved or influenced by his/her family or previous partner. 9. We have worked out parent and stepparent responsibilities and roles. 10. Each of us feels close to the other. 11
- 12. Remarriage Stumbling Blocks Items are in Rank Order 1They expect difficulty dealing with complex stepfamily issues(88%) 2They believe having children from previous relationships will put an additional strain on their marriage(86%) 3Creating a stepfamily puts more stress on their relationship(85%) 4Having different patterns of child rearing in their birth family can be problematic(82%) 5They expect stepfamily adjustment to be difficult(78%) 6They don't have a specific plan for money management(73%) 7They have concerns over unpaid bills, debts, or settlements(66%) 8They feel their partner is too stubborn(65%) 9 One or both of the partners goes out of their way to avoid conflict with the other(63%) 10 They have a fear of another marital failure(63%) 11 One or both partners feel responsible for the problems when they argue(61 %) One or both partners have not yet worked through the issues and hurts from previous relationships(58%) 12
- 13. Couple positioning system (CPS) Review your couple Checkup Report to see what Couple Type you are most similar to. The chart in the next page summarizes the strengths and key growth dimensions of each type. The couple Scores in the Summary of Strength and Growth Areas graph describe how much you agree with each other in a positive way about important aspects of your marriage. 13
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