3. Thread 1:
Many years of research tell us that the
single most important ingredient in
effective therapy,
regardless of the
paradigm, is the
empathic capacity
of the therapist.
(pg. 5)
4. Thread 2:
The very process of directing attention to a
particular
memory adds
the energy and
information
of the present
moment to
that memory.
(pg. 9)
5. Thread 3:
Right hemisphere processing is holistic
and nonlinear, taking everything in at
once in a
receptive
way. Working
with the right
hemisphere
is the bedrock
of healing
in therapy.
(pg. 20)
6. Thread 4:
Sadly, one axiom that
often proves true is
that the greater the
early wounding, the
more power uncon-
scious, implicit mem-
ories exert in the pre-
sent, until there is
some kind of integra-
tive healing experience.
(pg. 26)
7. Thread 5:
9 functions of the middle prefrontal area:
1. Regulation of the body
2. Attuned communication
3. Regulation of emotion
4. Response flexibility
5. Empathy
6. Insight
7. Intuition
8. Fear extinction
9. Morality
(pg. 33)
8. Thread 6:
When it comes to empathy, all relation-
ships are sloppy. Healthy mothers with
securely attached
kids only tune in
to them roughly
33% of the time.
The quick relief
of distress is key.
(pg. 34)
9. Thread 7:
Attachment patterns begin when only
implicit memory is available; one key lies
in right brain to right brain, bodily-based
regulatory experiences throughout life.
(pg. 59)
10. Thread 8:
Interestingly, the longing for connection
appears to be embedded in neural cells
in the chest
around the
heart, making
sense of things
like heartaches
and broken
hearts.
(pgs. 65)
11. Thread 9:
Internal relationships with our own psyche
tell us what we can expect in external rela-
tionships. These self-stories carry so much
power, we respond
to them like heat-
seeking missiles
looking for people
who will help us
replicate what we
most deeply believe.
(pg. 81)
12. Thread 10:
There is no greater source of spiritual
misery than projecting our hurtful
parents onto the spiritual realm, as either
a punitive or
distant God,
a debilitating
shame over
moral lapses,
or a well
of despair.
(pg. 96)