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Understanding Family Systems

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allisonbell

This document summarizes key concepts about understanding family systems from a presentation on how collaborative teams are affected. It discusses how a system is defined, the basic jobs of a family, organizing elements like boundaries and power distributions, and how family dynamics can infect collaborative teams through processes like contagion and parallel processes. Effective teamwork requires getting to know each family's language, emotional style, relational themes, and creating new systems and protocols to provide predictability and safety for both clients and professionals.

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UNDERSTANDING FAMILY SYSTEMS How Collaborative Teams Are Affected Presented by Allison J. Bell, Psy.D. Divorce Coach and Child Specialist NYACP and HVCDDRA March 26, 2009
The Concept of a System Definition: A system is a configuration of parts, connected by a web of relationships which create a radical interdependence, an organization that both is greater than the sum of its parts and effects the way that individual parts function/CAN function within its framework. The framework establishes, directly or indirectly, a set of rules or norms according to which the actions of individual parts gain meaning in relation to the shared relevance to the shared purpose, to produce a given result that can be legitimately analyzed accordingly.
Systems Thinking Purpose Culture/Thematic Identity Boundaries Structure: Norms, Rules, Traditions/Roles Duties, Functions/Rewards and Punishments
Basic Jobs of a Family Provide for its members financially Provide emotional safety Provide caretaking/nurturing of the young [we have a long dependency period in our society] Provide food and shelter for its members Provide sexual and relational stability for the married couple {marriage as a societal mechanism for maintaining stability and organization to the sexual and relational urges}
Organizing Elements of the Family Boundaries: Clear; Diffuse; Permeable a. Authoritarian/Authoritative vs. Permissive/Responsive b. Is the Governing System Egalitarian, Hierarchical or CHAOS
Structures, Norms & Rules These are the forces that stabilize the family We all come from families and have expectations about how families should function, eg; This is the way WE do things in our family As collaborative professionals, the team members cannot violate a given familys rules for functioning.
Roles, Functions & Duties Who Provides for What? Common Roles The task master/Competent One The provider The emotional caregiver The disciplinarian
Roles Continued Emotional Roles The problem person The irrelevant person Protector Peacemaker The Dangerous One Troublemaker The Needy One The Independent One
Roles Continued Role Balances Bully/Victim Initiator/Delay Specialist Doer/Helpless One
Power Distributions: Who Has It & What Kind Do They Have? Every member of a system has power of some kind There is overt power There is covert power: the power of coercive anxiety There are domains of power: money, children Power as personal style
Black-And-White Communication Searching for Shades of Gray In communication.. CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING example: If I walk into my own home and open the refrigerator, that is one thing; if I walk into your house and open your refrigerator, I violate your comfort and broadcast a very different message.
Communication Families have their own particular LANGUAGE. Therefore, collaborative team members need to get to know the language of the family they are working with.
Communication Every Family has its own EMOTIONAL STYLE This can be an emotionally expressive, constricted, or very fluid style of communication. It can be an eruptive, or inattentive style.
Communication Every Family has its own RELATIONAL THEMES This means that there are rules and norms that are already governing who relates to whom and how they relate. Team members need to be aware, so as not to violate the rules.
Communication When the Context is Conflict: In our work, the system is in conflict, and most often is dysfunctional, creating DOUBLE JEOPARDY------------ The Divorcing Family is a Dysfunctional System, and the Team is a System under potential strain.
CONTAGION: How Family Dynamics Infect the Team A dissolving system is still a system We need to intervene to create predictability We need to find the stabilizers and reinforce them We need to reduce the flack and chaos that accompanies change
Parallel Processes Clients need to socialize Us to Their System..Thats potential Infection We need to try to socialize Clients to Our SystemThats Education We do this by offering them the possibility of a new system with new structures and rules...Thats making things more predictable and consistent.
Norms: Protocols as a Strategy for Creating Norms Integrating protocols into your thinking Neutralizing the differences in experience levels amongst team members Creating the opportunity to get past barriers and deepen the conversations THIS LEADS TO TEAM CULTURE
The Context is Conflict The language of conflict is assault and defense The search for safety is universal and fundamental to human beings Our job is to create a system that provides safety, for our clients and for us.

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Understanding Family Systems

  • 1. UNDERSTANDING FAMILY SYSTEMS How Collaborative Teams Are Affected Presented by Allison J. Bell, Psy.D. Divorce Coach and Child Specialist NYACP and HVCDDRA March 26, 2009
  • 2. The Concept of a System Definition: A system is a configuration of parts, connected by a web of relationships which create a radical interdependence, an organization that both is greater than the sum of its parts and effects the way that individual parts function/CAN function within its framework. The framework establishes, directly or indirectly, a set of rules or norms according to which the actions of individual parts gain meaning in relation to the shared relevance to the shared purpose, to produce a given result that can be legitimately analyzed accordingly.
  • 3. Systems Thinking Purpose Culture/Thematic Identity Boundaries Structure: Norms, Rules, Traditions/Roles Duties, Functions/Rewards and Punishments
  • 4. Basic Jobs of a Family Provide for its members financially Provide emotional safety Provide caretaking/nurturing of the young [we have a long dependency period in our society] Provide food and shelter for its members Provide sexual and relational stability for the married couple {marriage as a societal mechanism for maintaining stability and organization to the sexual and relational urges}
  • 5. Organizing Elements of the Family Boundaries: Clear; Diffuse; Permeable a. Authoritarian/Authoritative vs. Permissive/Responsive b. Is the Governing System Egalitarian, Hierarchical or CHAOS
  • 6. Structures, Norms & Rules These are the forces that stabilize the family We all come from families and have expectations about how families should function, eg; This is the way WE do things in our family As collaborative professionals, the team members cannot violate a given familys rules for functioning.
  • 7. Roles, Functions & Duties Who Provides for What? Common Roles The task master/Competent One The provider The emotional caregiver The disciplinarian
  • 8. Roles Continued Emotional Roles The problem person The irrelevant person Protector Peacemaker The Dangerous One Troublemaker The Needy One The Independent One
  • 9. Roles Continued Role Balances Bully/Victim Initiator/Delay Specialist Doer/Helpless One
  • 10. Power Distributions: Who Has It & What Kind Do They Have? Every member of a system has power of some kind There is overt power There is covert power: the power of coercive anxiety There are domains of power: money, children Power as personal style
  • 11. Black-And-White Communication Searching for Shades of Gray In communication.. CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING example: If I walk into my own home and open the refrigerator, that is one thing; if I walk into your house and open your refrigerator, I violate your comfort and broadcast a very different message.
  • 12. Communication Families have their own particular LANGUAGE. Therefore, collaborative team members need to get to know the language of the family they are working with.
  • 13. Communication Every Family has its own EMOTIONAL STYLE This can be an emotionally expressive, constricted, or very fluid style of communication. It can be an eruptive, or inattentive style.
  • 14. Communication Every Family has its own RELATIONAL THEMES This means that there are rules and norms that are already governing who relates to whom and how they relate. Team members need to be aware, so as not to violate the rules.
  • 15. Communication When the Context is Conflict: In our work, the system is in conflict, and most often is dysfunctional, creating DOUBLE JEOPARDY------------ The Divorcing Family is a Dysfunctional System, and the Team is a System under potential strain.
  • 16. CONTAGION: How Family Dynamics Infect the Team A dissolving system is still a system We need to intervene to create predictability We need to find the stabilizers and reinforce them We need to reduce the flack and chaos that accompanies change
  • 17. Parallel Processes Clients need to socialize Us to Their System..Thats potential Infection We need to try to socialize Clients to Our SystemThats Education We do this by offering them the possibility of a new system with new structures and rules...Thats making things more predictable and consistent.
  • 18. Norms: Protocols as a Strategy for Creating Norms Integrating protocols into your thinking Neutralizing the differences in experience levels amongst team members Creating the opportunity to get past barriers and deepen the conversations THIS LEADS TO TEAM CULTURE
  • 19. The Context is Conflict The language of conflict is assault and defense The search for safety is universal and fundamental to human beings Our job is to create a system that provides safety, for our clients and for us.