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WONDERLAND
By Samie Sands
I force my eyes open, grabbing onto my throbbing head as I do so. Where am I again?
I push my aching body up from the hard ground that lies beneath me. It takes a while for my
sight to fully return, the blinding light making it almost impossible to see anything
surrounding me. I rack my brain, trying to remember anything that might help me figure out
what’s going on, but nothing comes. Not even my name. How do I not even know my own
name? That’s impossible. I pat my head gently, trying to shake something in there, but the
movement only makes me feel worse. Nausea overcomes me and I bend forward gasping for
air.
My legs feel weak as I try to bear all of my weight on them. I stagger back against the
cold stone wall and my head droops forward, my eyes rolling towards the ground. Water
droplets fall and hit the ground with a resounding splash. I don’t know if they are tears or just
an irritation of my retina. I hope it’s the latter, crying is the last thing I need to be doing right
now. When the blurriness clears slightly, I can see that I am wearing some very strange silver
gladiator sandals on my feet. I wiggle my toes, just to check that the vision is really me. Then
my eyes continue to travel up my body to see what else I have on. I am shocked by the navy
blue jumpsuit covering my body.
I hate it.
I mean, I literally hate it. I don’t know how old I am, or what I’m called, but I do
know that I despise this outfit. What on earth would possess me to even think of putting this
on? I was obviously way off with my first impression that this was all just a bad hangover. I
would not be seen dead on a night out in anything this hideous. I let out a deep sigh and start
focusing on movement. I can’t exactly stand here, in this tiny unfamiliar room all day. The
pure white interior is driving me to distraction, it’s almost suffocating me. Hopefully my
memories will all come flooding back when I work out where this is.
I lean tentatively out of the doorway and am faced with a long, white corridor which
seems to go on forever. A million possibilities fly uncontrollably through my brain, but I
don’t allow myself to focus on any particular idea. None of them are very pleasant. I try not
to let the fear that is bubbling away in my stomach consume me entirely, and keep my mind
focused on each small movement that I can get my body to make. Slowly, my limbs begin to
loosen up and move more naturally. The relief that floods though me at that moment is halted
when I hear voices behind me.
I quickly spin around; all of my defenses are sky high. I feel silly as I realise my fists
have automatically risen above my face, but luckily no one is there to see it. My hands flop
dejectedly down to my side as my ears prick up, trying to latch on to any more sounds.
Noises mean people, which I am hoping will lead to answers. The laughter continues and I
nervously follow it. I try and tell my heart rate to slow down, that there is nothing to be afraid
of, but it hammers away noisily nonetheless. I eventually find myself outside a room very
similar to the one I have just left. Inside I can see two boys sat close together in the corner of
the room. Their backs are to me and they are so engrossed in something that they’re looking
at they don’t even notice me standing there.
I let out an awkward cough, unsure of how I should get their attention. One of them
turns sharply and growls at me. I can’t immediately speak as I drink in his appearance. He is
pale, thin and very small. He is hunched over so tightly that I’m sure he must be frozen that
way. His dark hair matches his eyes exactly, which gives him a sinister twist, one that sends
iciness up and down my spine. I’m also fascinated by the paper hat perched on the top of his
head. What is that all about?
Before another sound can pass by my lips, movement catches the corner of my eye.
The other boy has risen and is now stood in front of me, smiling brightly. He pushes his hand
into mine and starts shaking it vigorously, almost painfully. When he begins shouting, a
possibility I didn’t even consider before pops unwelcomingly into my thoughts.
“Bill!”
Is this…?
“My name!”
It can’t be.
“I’m called Bill!”
Could this be some sort of mental institution? Is everyone here crazy? Does that mean
I’m crazy? I don’t feel crazy, should I know that I’m crazy? This isn’t fair. I don’t want to be
stuck here in a nut house surrounded by weirdoes. Especially when I don’t even know why.
“Bill, what is this place?”
I finally speak up. My speech is gravelly and my throat stings with each word. I
almost feel as if my voice box has been left unused for a very long time. I try and cough
again to clear it, but this only results in it feeling much worse. I don’t really hold out much
hope for a decent answer, but I figured it can’t hurt to try. His reaction absolutely stuns and
confuses me. He immediately backs away with his hands partially covering his face. The
sheer panic in his eyes suggests to me that his silence comes from a much deeper place than
idiocy. His mouth opens and closes rapidly like a goldfish. He retreats back into the corner
and slumps to the ground. Both the boys proceed to take up a rocking motion, their
expressions glazing over. As much as I try and talk or shake them out of this state, they do
not move. It’s as if I no longer even exist to them. I pull back and watch them for a further
thirty seconds before giving up and moving on, shrugging my shoulders as if I’m not at all
bothered by this creepy place. Inside my brain is screaming at me, but I don’t give up the
relaxed demeanor. I just have a strange feeling that someone, somewhere is watching me,
wanting me to react.
As I leave the room, I walk smack into identical twins. Two girls, both very blonde,
very slim with curves in all the right places and unbelievably gorgeous. Jealousy raises its
ugly head straight away, how come I have to wear this hideous sack, but these two get to
grace the halls in jeans and skin tight t-shirts? I bet their beauty has given them some sort of
power and control. I start to think that I am not in a mental home after all, these girls appear
perfectly normal to me. But then they start to talk.
“You should avoid those boys…”
They say this in perfect unison, pointing into the room with exactly the same
movements. It’s creepy, like something out of a horror film. Uneasiness spreads through my
entire body. Somehow I just know that this is all worse than I first thought. Something
terrible is going on here.

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Wonderland by Samie Sands

  • 1. WONDERLAND By Samie Sands I force my eyes open, grabbing onto my throbbing head as I do so. Where am I again? I push my aching body up from the hard ground that lies beneath me. It takes a while for my sight to fully return, the blinding light making it almost impossible to see anything surrounding me. I rack my brain, trying to remember anything that might help me figure out what’s going on, but nothing comes. Not even my name. How do I not even know my own name? That’s impossible. I pat my head gently, trying to shake something in there, but the movement only makes me feel worse. Nausea overcomes me and I bend forward gasping for air. My legs feel weak as I try to bear all of my weight on them. I stagger back against the cold stone wall and my head droops forward, my eyes rolling towards the ground. Water droplets fall and hit the ground with a resounding splash. I don’t know if they are tears or just an irritation of my retina. I hope it’s the latter, crying is the last thing I need to be doing right now. When the blurriness clears slightly, I can see that I am wearing some very strange silver gladiator sandals on my feet. I wiggle my toes, just to check that the vision is really me. Then my eyes continue to travel up my body to see what else I have on. I am shocked by the navy blue jumpsuit covering my body. I hate it. I mean, I literally hate it. I don’t know how old I am, or what I’m called, but I do know that I despise this outfit. What on earth would possess me to even think of putting this on? I was obviously way off with my first impression that this was all just a bad hangover. I would not be seen dead on a night out in anything this hideous. I let out a deep sigh and start focusing on movement. I can’t exactly stand here, in this tiny unfamiliar room all day. The pure white interior is driving me to distraction, it’s almost suffocating me. Hopefully my memories will all come flooding back when I work out where this is. I lean tentatively out of the doorway and am faced with a long, white corridor which seems to go on forever. A million possibilities fly uncontrollably through my brain, but I don’t allow myself to focus on any particular idea. None of them are very pleasant. I try not to let the fear that is bubbling away in my stomach consume me entirely, and keep my mind focused on each small movement that I can get my body to make. Slowly, my limbs begin to loosen up and move more naturally. The relief that floods though me at that moment is halted
  • 2. when I hear voices behind me. I quickly spin around; all of my defenses are sky high. I feel silly as I realise my fists have automatically risen above my face, but luckily no one is there to see it. My hands flop dejectedly down to my side as my ears prick up, trying to latch on to any more sounds. Noises mean people, which I am hoping will lead to answers. The laughter continues and I nervously follow it. I try and tell my heart rate to slow down, that there is nothing to be afraid of, but it hammers away noisily nonetheless. I eventually find myself outside a room very similar to the one I have just left. Inside I can see two boys sat close together in the corner of the room. Their backs are to me and they are so engrossed in something that they’re looking at they don’t even notice me standing there. I let out an awkward cough, unsure of how I should get their attention. One of them turns sharply and growls at me. I can’t immediately speak as I drink in his appearance. He is pale, thin and very small. He is hunched over so tightly that I’m sure he must be frozen that way. His dark hair matches his eyes exactly, which gives him a sinister twist, one that sends iciness up and down my spine. I’m also fascinated by the paper hat perched on the top of his head. What is that all about? Before another sound can pass by my lips, movement catches the corner of my eye. The other boy has risen and is now stood in front of me, smiling brightly. He pushes his hand into mine and starts shaking it vigorously, almost painfully. When he begins shouting, a possibility I didn’t even consider before pops unwelcomingly into my thoughts. “Bill!” Is this…? “My name!” It can’t be. “I’m called Bill!” Could this be some sort of mental institution? Is everyone here crazy? Does that mean I’m crazy? I don’t feel crazy, should I know that I’m crazy? This isn’t fair. I don’t want to be stuck here in a nut house surrounded by weirdoes. Especially when I don’t even know why. “Bill, what is this place?” I finally speak up. My speech is gravelly and my throat stings with each word. I almost feel as if my voice box has been left unused for a very long time. I try and cough again to clear it, but this only results in it feeling much worse. I don’t really hold out much hope for a decent answer, but I figured it can’t hurt to try. His reaction absolutely stuns and confuses me. He immediately backs away with his hands partially covering his face. The
  • 3. sheer panic in his eyes suggests to me that his silence comes from a much deeper place than idiocy. His mouth opens and closes rapidly like a goldfish. He retreats back into the corner and slumps to the ground. Both the boys proceed to take up a rocking motion, their expressions glazing over. As much as I try and talk or shake them out of this state, they do not move. It’s as if I no longer even exist to them. I pull back and watch them for a further thirty seconds before giving up and moving on, shrugging my shoulders as if I’m not at all bothered by this creepy place. Inside my brain is screaming at me, but I don’t give up the relaxed demeanor. I just have a strange feeling that someone, somewhere is watching me, wanting me to react. As I leave the room, I walk smack into identical twins. Two girls, both very blonde, very slim with curves in all the right places and unbelievably gorgeous. Jealousy raises its ugly head straight away, how come I have to wear this hideous sack, but these two get to grace the halls in jeans and skin tight t-shirts? I bet their beauty has given them some sort of power and control. I start to think that I am not in a mental home after all, these girls appear perfectly normal to me. But then they start to talk. “You should avoid those boys…” They say this in perfect unison, pointing into the room with exactly the same movements. It’s creepy, like something out of a horror film. Uneasiness spreads through my entire body. Somehow I just know that this is all worse than I first thought. Something terrible is going on here.