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Vienna, Virginia

Speculator

the average viewing time for hotel porn is 12 minutes. this is my favorite statistic ever. I like stuff. I do things. I have hobbies. I talk loud. I employ dysphemisms, neologisms, hyperboles, idioms, erotemas and parables in my daily cacophonous rhetoric. Therefore, all discourse should be taken as flippant Schadenfreude. I'm a freelance speculator, self deprecation blogger, misanthrope, emasculator, amateur arsonist, future jeopardy champion…and I book rock shows.