I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me...
I was kidnapped on a family holiday to Walt Disney World at two-and-a-half years old, by alligators who raised me as one of their own in the Florida Everglades; until the age of seven, when I was rescued by a colony of white supremacist fruit flies who took me to live with them in a shopping trolley at the bottom of Anthea Turner's garden. Despite having flown the nest at seventeen, I still think of it as home.
In a parallel universe, I was born at 3.50am in the underground maternity wing of Peel Street Hospital, Nottingham (which has since been converted into Nottingham Trent University student flats) and have lived in Newa
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