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adoption fostering trauma oakwater maltreatment education neglect nlp bubble wrapped children abuse child attachment fab parents social work helen mbit child abuse triggers ptsd social worker child protection uk australia parenting classroom adoptive parents behaviour want to adopt children fasd facebook hallbom cycle of change disappointment teacher ace future proofing secure child development taste smell polyvagal disorganised arousal domestic abuse grief self regulation chid abuse school emotional regulation classroom management contact teaching beliefs teachers futureproofing care proceedings lawyers family law judges joanna harper sub-modalities oakwa reframe wakefield knibbs adverse childhood experiences resiliance future proof coaching veterans coaching veteran neglect future-proof transformation soc helen oakwater alcohol social services finland truth telling dignified childhood process approval richmond sensory pucelik frank pucelik breathing iemt neuroception porges soosalu bruce perry van der kolk andreas