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I am a dynamic figure, often seen eating spinach or looking for a few, hard-to-find, Henry Rollins books to finish my collection. I have been known to visit libraries on weekdays, where I single-handedly transfer all the copies of bibles from the reference section, to the fiction section. I color outside the lines, run with scissors and never obey the speed limit. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning commentaries. I think Tom Cruise, Kirk Cameron and Norman Bates all have the same mother. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I pride myself in knowing the difference between bear and bare – I like bare better.