Personal Information
Organization / Workplace
Midlothian, Virginia
Occupation
Learning Specialist
About
Everything below is the truth.
When I was born, the doctor took one look at me and then ran out of the hospital. He then went on a massive bender and was found dead several days later with a note saying that life was no longer worth living after he had seen the most amazing thing ever.
When I was one, I spoke my first word followed by the entire script of the 156-hour movie Cinématon.
When I was two, I rode in a cart, parts of which were melted down and have gone on to be used in formula 1 race cars.
When I was three, a monkey stole my hat and I chased the animal 1000 steps to retrieve my headgear. Vanessa Carlton later wrote a vastly exaggerated song about my endeavor.
When I was fo