I was born with the title "Earl Bacon Munchies Slant Roofed Badger Metal" On the Green slopes of a Herons Lair to the malodorous stench of jam. I was kidnapped by the Pirates of Drambuie during a parish rendition of Gilbert and Sullivans little known musical "Milipede and the Balkan Slosh." Many years later I was rescued by a man who had no eyebrows, no facial expressions and a penchant for Uganadan war chants. When I eventually got back to civilisation I was shocked to discover that the Herons Lair had been eaten. Homeless, Presumed orphaned I taught myself the eukelele and started up my own musical window cleaning business. I was free of this karmic servitude in February when I arrived in
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