10 moments that have defined my life, thus far
1) Meeting the wonderful and talented Julie Montgomery, my very own stalker.
2) The night I was bartered in exchange for a tank of gas. Seriously. It wasn't even Premium. It's a long story...
3) Realizing, at age 5, there was no rule of reciprocity for when my parents lied to me (think: "Santa Claus" and "Try it. You'll like it.")
4) Finding my soul in law school (keep the commentary to yourself, Montgomery!).
5) Returning to my apartment, while in college, to find that a sociopathic quasi-girlfriend had cleaned me out. You know who you are.
6) Realizing my parents won't live forever.
7) Realizing I was the worst friend in
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