I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice with one finger. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning concertos, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike violin playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small vill
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