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New York, New York

Chief Squisher

I've jumped from the deck of wooden boat in a developing country directly on top of a jellyfish. I have visited Graceland and paid more per minute for Elvis’ shag ceiling than for a phone sex operator. I’ve watched grown Eastern European men race stream trains. I’ve eaten a fruit that smells so bad it’s banned from all forms of public transportation. I’ve been in a car accident in an illegal cab. I’ve craved hamburgers so badly that I’ve eaten at a Hard Rock Café on four continents. I’ve negotiated meals entirely through pantomime. I’ve driven several hours in each direction for Waffle House. I’ve had the freshest Guinness on Earth. I’ve eaten stingray, emu, jellyfish,