I have inside jokes with complete strangers.
I can speak French in Russian.
The police often question me, just because they find me interesting.
Every time I go for a swim, dolphins appear.
I once taught a horse to read my emails for me.
I have amassed an incredible DVD library and never once alphabetized it.
I never say 鈥榮omething tastes like chicken鈥�, not even chicken.
I can disarm you with my looks, or my hands. Either way鈥�
I live vicariously through myself.
I once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels.
My personality is so magnetic I am unable to carry credit cards.
My beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man鈥檚 entire body.
My organ donation card also lists my
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