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This document summarizes a poetry collection by Yoshira Marbel titled "Unspecified". It was published in 2011 by Modern Evil Press. The collection explores Marbel's experiences with depression through honest and heartfelt poems. It provides background on the author, a 27-year-old Indian female from South Africa, and acknowledges those who supported the book's publication through a Kickstarter campaign.

1 of 66
Unspecified Poetry by Yoshira Marbel A Modern Evil Press Phoenix
First Edition Copyright 息 2011 by Yoshira Marbel Some Rights Reserved. This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit http:// creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA. Cover image 息 2009-2011 by Teel McClanahan III Published by Modern Evil Press, Phoenix, AZ Printed in the United States of America ISBN: 978-1-934516-22-5 (paperback) ISBN: 978-1-934516-23-2 (eBook) Library of Congress Control Number: 2011939041
My dear depression, you tear my soul apart each day, but still I love you.
Unspecified
Introduction Unspecified is a collection of poems based on my experiences as an average 27-year-old Indian female from South Africa trying to cope with the daily struggles of life while suffering with depression. It is an honest and heartfelt account which describes the battles I have had to fight within my mind in an effort to maintain a level of sanity. A simple disappointment can be turned instantly into a reason for self hatred and loneliness. A breakup with a boy I have known for a few days becomes an epic, world- altering event. Every word uttered to me is analysed in order to find a hidden meaning in the hope that my next depressive episode will for once have a reasonable explanation and a person it can be directed towards so that I am absolved of all blame. My poems express my feelings about events that are considered to be a part of daily normal life but that are negatively personified in my mind. Beyond 'depression', the doctors don't even have a name for the way I am; my official diagnosis is 'Unspecified' because my doctors aren't poets. But with depression comes emptiness, anger, suffering, and hate, and I have used my poetry to express these emotions, putting into words what my doctors have never been able to understand. I hope after reading my poetry you will feel a sense of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your sadness or, alternatively, think I am just a selfish, crazy mental patient who needs intense psychiatric help. Either way, read it and enjoy. -Yoshira Marbel
Unspecified
My friend At least I have my faithful friend He never leaves my side Lays next to me at night Wraps his arms around me Holding me tight Cant break away He is here to stay My dear friend Pain 1
Left Behind Lingering on my pure skin The stink of your lying face Regret and rage self hate and pain Left behind after my first time A bleeding hand And shards of a shattered mirror Cracks on my face Left behind after your storm Innocent baby girl with pink shoes and pretty little bows now dirt Left behind After your touch 2
The End Tumultuous, deadly waves Crashing against the sand paper rocks Closer and closer It reaches over Opens its arms I feel a sense of calm Lost in the waves A blinding light Reflecting On my dark brown eyes Patiently waiting To take me away Finally free So let me be 3
Misunderstood Misunderstood Dont judge me Help me Different Not normal you say Like the moon coming out in the day I am the way I am And dont want to change Not like you, you all the same What happened to you You used to be so nice Secretly I was dying inside 4
Lost Soul Trapped Cold steel bars Surrounded by grey, bare walls Like an ragged old cart Pulled through the field Hours just dragging by With no end in sight Meaningless piece of paper Staring back at me Endless numbers placing me In a hypnotic sleep Just a drone To the all powerful God Sits in his diamond encrusted chariot High above Hitler incarnate He gives us the gold In exchange Takes our souls. 5
misty, dark clouds sun hidden in grey skies dark shadows dancing 6
the heavens open fire circle burning red still the tears wont dry 7
Hollow Heart Sadness has taken me captive Whispers softly in my ear Feel the end is near Hollow heart With a river of tears Perfect smiles To disguise the thoughts Obsession or madness The line now erased The result is the same Sadness 8
False Face You see my laughs You see my smiles And you think I am alright I say the things you want to hear Just so I can be alone Tired of faking Tired of lying Tired of pretending all is fine So much time Spent on my false face Sad to say Your humanly love Really Is killing me 9
Euphoria An invisible sword Piercing my flesh A bloody high Followed by peaceful bliss Floating away Desperate to feel again Fleeting euphoria Stolen By reality All that remains Is a tiny scar A memento from my heaven 10
black waters rising far away wind ravages ship bloody sharks are near 11
Broken Im not normal Just a disappointment A broken shell Piece me back together Tiny cracks will always remain I will never change Accept me This girl is here to stay Shallow Silent cries Behind shallow smiles Feeling alone Sadness is about to swallow me whole You cant escape your own thoughts Sadness has taken over Mind, body and soul I cant keep holding on 12
majestic moon shines empty room reflects its light goodbye letter 13
Desolate Blind with rage Weakened with pain Smashed my hopes An alien in my mind Stripped my soul Took control Overnight No longer a warrior Just, a submissive follower A lawless world Actions unnoticed Justified sadness Rational explanation Now, you leave? A desolate baby I fear My beloved depression You are my world 14
Jaded I am in a dark place Hiding my true face, Faking a laugh, Faking a smile, To ensure you dont discover all my lies, I am not the girl you see, Just an imitation of the girl I wish I could be I am dying inside, Fading slowly, Jaded thinking, Slowly depression has taken over Happiness is gone forever. 15
Promised Liberation Holy Name Promised liberation A price tag attached Our saviour or jailer? Pain and Pleasure Inflicted In his holy name His fallen angels Seek salvation at his Divine feet The supreme Lord Krshna 16
lilies scent crows circle exchange rings 17
Drowning Loneliness An infectious disease I do try But silent tears I still cry Drowning Cant you see? Im not the angel I pretend to be You say you love me Youre never really here All I have is my depression It never disappears 18
Heartbreak Endless hours Quiet Contemplation Tears hitting Polished wooden floors Barbed wire Grating against my raw pale skin Blankly staring Waiting... for a ring Each time I hear a noise A touch of electricity Vibrates through my shattered heart Hoping it's him Disappointment Realization He is never coming home 19
needle piercing blood rushing silver in flesh 20
Going Home Porcelain Princess Perfect in every way wishing it all away Underneath Shattered glass tearing into her perfect skin Burning inside like scalding hot coals Begs to be free Wrapped in lies Tired of pretending all is fine Captured In a self made prison Built with haunted memories And forgotten smiles All alone Finally she is going home Buried alive In all her pain Covered in dirt Now one with the earth 21
The Race Running a race Life Weighing on my shoulders All this strife Where is the finishing line? Caught a glimpse But its disappeared Into the sweet abyss Like my happiness Always an illusion I want to take the easy way out But I will keep running Pain wont get the better of me 22
Family Make me feel guilty Think I am selfish I am in control To you I am not strong enough Do you really know me? Is this is the way I want to be? Helping me? No I can never be the person you want me to be I am doing my best Try and be family Not like all the rest 23
brown leaves crush running in fear lies catching up 24
Cycle I can feel it creeping back An injured bird I cannot fly Will be stuck in my depression For a little while Seems like eternity Each minute crawling by Then my mood will pick up I will be free to fly Its a cycle I have come to know well 25
Shattered My acid tears Thrown in his face Corroding his scaly skin Burning into his animal flesh A simple disappointment Leaving Shattered promises I remember our first kiss Only now I realize You were kissing her too Holding me tight While keeping her warm at night Sadly My love for you is stronger than my hate 26
Released Pain Tiny slit Sweet release Blood droplets Hypnotize me A fountain of blood Dancing on the crystal water Floating away Darkness has destroyed the pain End is near Now free Blood has released me 27
Doll Emptiness consumes me An infectious disease No escape Silent tears Depression in control Drowning Pretending You say you love me But you're never really here My dear depression Never disappears Like a rag doll Thrown in the trash Come back See through my fa巽ade I may not say this a lot But I love you 28
Living in Hell Level headed Intelligent Smart enough to know the consequences of my actions Causing the ones I love to suffer I am the one living in hell Excuse me I dont feel for you Live in the darkness See how long you stay Before you wish it all away 29
Whole Again You pretend to care, Say what I want to hear You broke my heart Into tiny pieces, Im living in a hell that you created, I am in pain Somehow, wish you could feel the same, Seeing you suffer, Will make me whole again. 30
Obsessed I am sitting here alone, Constantly having obsessive thoughts of you, You come back into my life, Just to hurt me again, With all the tears I cry My pillow is stained, You make me happy You make me sad, But I let you do it each time, I cant let you go My obsession with you just grows, You are not good for me So leave my thoughts Please Then maybe this heartache will cease. 31
love promises forever one until temptation 32
Cutting Death Somedays I wake up Brave enough To grab my trusty blade Slice away My human coat A snake My fake skin Will shed Revealing A scared Tortured Ugly Little girl Who simply wants love 33
Rejection Wide open space Filled with laughs Happy thoughts Devils playing I sit alone Watching Wondering why I cant seem to smile Abandoned Hear them talk Point to me Then they laugh Like a blade slicing into my skin I stare at them Waiting for the bell to ring Seeking acceptance But receiving rejection 34
ground warmed by the sun bell rings devils free to play outcast, angel sits 35
Dark Face Stuck in a dark room All alone Consumed in darkness Cant find the door Can anyone hear my call? Afraid I will be stuck here forever Its hopeless Depression has finally taken over 36
Wide Open Thank you Caused me pain Stole my self esteem Pretending To give a damn Made me a fool You lost the best thing that could ever happen to you Well my eyes are now wide open Too late, I have moved on Hope it doesnt work out for you 37
Broken Anger I am filled with anger, And seek revenge Is that so bad? When I feel like the living dead I want the world to stop, Bleed the way I bleed, Feel the pain I feel, Hurt the way I hurt, Judge me if you dare I am already torn and broken Do you think I care? Let me know when you reached perfection Then maybe your opinion will be worth my attention 38
conquered alien dwells weak mind 39
Escape When I scream No one can hear Cutting Easy escape All they see Girl I pretend to be Smile Laugh Fake happiness All a fa巽ade Just for you My dear family 40
Contempt Tired Leave me All figured out Rather Live a lie You lost control A battlefield you created No winners Created hatred and contempt 41
Miss You Quarter past three Wishing you were here I sit crying Do you think of me? I keep wondering Do you miss me Like I miss you? Are you with another girl? Is she making you smile? I hate you You made me hurt Please dont leave me 42
red rose piercing thorn love hurts 43
awe of a tiger ready to kill willing prey still 44
dark winter begins bringing rebirth through death dead walk spirits speak 45
Afterlife This life is a curse Soon it shall pass Dont cry for me The after bliss will not last Back to earth I shall fall Till heaven does call I wait patiently To be blessed with your light Maybe I should keep up the fight As difficult as it maybe I know greatness awaits me 46
Fake Pretending We see the smiles Behind closed doors Suffering Eventually Just exhausting All that lying Scared of opinions Blind To the obvious Everyone has a secret 47
Fire Anger Ready to burn me to ashes Consumes me day and night Cant escape It helps me cope Especially now When I lost all hope I have no control It makes me feel so good For a second in time While silently Crushes My soul inside 48
Addicted Each Day Chipping away Hands Shaking Numb and Empty Like cyanide Ravaging my body Once my saviour Now my kidnapper White coated pills Gradually Swallowing Me whole 49
friends dance in the rain leaving wet blanket 50
water puddles welcome speech cold feet 51
soft green grass vegetarian cuts it killer 52
burning ground barefoot, pray love from a picture 53
warm sea sand building castles homeless mind 54
cruel waves crashing drowning in sadness 55
Unspecified
About the Author Yoshira Marbel is 27 years old and lives in the vibrant coastal city of Durban, South Africa. The city's various population provide a rich tapestry of inspiration and heartbreak which endlessly fuel her writing. This is her first published collection, but it is by no means the last of her poetry.
Special Thanks This books print publication would not have been possible without the financial support of the following people, who pledged to its Kickstarter fundraiser: John and Caroline Wise Michelle Bar-Evan Tyler Hurst Nancy Kress Jennifer White Brian LaPan Michael and Hillary Oliver Bill Jonas Jr. The greatest thanks goes to Bill Jonas Jr., whose contribution went above and beyond even his own initial expectations. Thank you, one and all. Your support has allowed hopes and dreams to be fulfilled, and will open new avenues of possibility for bringing this work to the world.
Acknowledgements My best friend Karishma for all your support, encouragement and love, tolerating my craziness, and being willing to risk bad karma for me. G.C. Throughout this collection you have been my inspiration. You will never know the extent of the emotional turmoil your actions have caused in my life nor realize how a simple lie or insult can destroy another persons mental stability, but you forced me to remove my rose-tinted glasses and see the world as it truly is. The disregard you have shown towards my feelings allowed my inner-strength to shine, and I thank you. You could never see the clear path I have given you to my soul and foolishly I have never been able to lock the door. I wish I could hate you. To the people who have so kindly voiced their opinions on my social skills and unwillingness to participate in mindless conversations, to those who equate silence with stupidity, to the spineless men who lost me, and to the people who have the overwhelming desire to share their imperfect knowledge of mental illness with me, Thank you doesnt seem to fully describe the feelings I have for you so I would rather say Fuck you. To the reasons why I am alive; Seroquel, Wellbutrin, and Lamictal, you have seen me through the darkest days of my life. Finally, a big thank you to me, for being the brilliant, obsessive, intelligent, depressed, talented, schizoid person that I am. You are awesome.
more poetry from Modern Evil Press by Yoshira Marbel: Unspecified by Teel McClanahan III: The Vintage Collection Worth 1k --- Volume 1 A collection of poetry instead of pictures Worth 1k --- Volume 2 Working, eating, pain and longing

More Related Content

Unspecified

  • 1. Unspecified Poetry by Yoshira Marbel A Modern Evil Press Phoenix
  • 2. First Edition Copyright 息 2011 by Yoshira Marbel Some Rights Reserved. This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit http:// creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA. Cover image 息 2009-2011 by Teel McClanahan III Published by Modern Evil Press, Phoenix, AZ Printed in the United States of America ISBN: 978-1-934516-22-5 (paperback) ISBN: 978-1-934516-23-2 (eBook) Library of Congress Control Number: 2011939041
  • 3. My dear depression, you tear my soul apart each day, but still I love you.
  • 5. Introduction Unspecified is a collection of poems based on my experiences as an average 27-year-old Indian female from South Africa trying to cope with the daily struggles of life while suffering with depression. It is an honest and heartfelt account which describes the battles I have had to fight within my mind in an effort to maintain a level of sanity. A simple disappointment can be turned instantly into a reason for self hatred and loneliness. A breakup with a boy I have known for a few days becomes an epic, world- altering event. Every word uttered to me is analysed in order to find a hidden meaning in the hope that my next depressive episode will for once have a reasonable explanation and a person it can be directed towards so that I am absolved of all blame. My poems express my feelings about events that are considered to be a part of daily normal life but that are negatively personified in my mind. Beyond 'depression', the doctors don't even have a name for the way I am; my official diagnosis is 'Unspecified' because my doctors aren't poets. But with depression comes emptiness, anger, suffering, and hate, and I have used my poetry to express these emotions, putting into words what my doctors have never been able to understand. I hope after reading my poetry you will feel a sense of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your sadness or, alternatively, think I am just a selfish, crazy mental patient who needs intense psychiatric help. Either way, read it and enjoy. -Yoshira Marbel
  • 7. My friend At least I have my faithful friend He never leaves my side Lays next to me at night Wraps his arms around me Holding me tight Cant break away He is here to stay My dear friend Pain 1
  • 8. Left Behind Lingering on my pure skin The stink of your lying face Regret and rage self hate and pain Left behind after my first time A bleeding hand And shards of a shattered mirror Cracks on my face Left behind after your storm Innocent baby girl with pink shoes and pretty little bows now dirt Left behind After your touch 2
  • 9. The End Tumultuous, deadly waves Crashing against the sand paper rocks Closer and closer It reaches over Opens its arms I feel a sense of calm Lost in the waves A blinding light Reflecting On my dark brown eyes Patiently waiting To take me away Finally free So let me be 3
  • 10. Misunderstood Misunderstood Dont judge me Help me Different Not normal you say Like the moon coming out in the day I am the way I am And dont want to change Not like you, you all the same What happened to you You used to be so nice Secretly I was dying inside 4
  • 11. Lost Soul Trapped Cold steel bars Surrounded by grey, bare walls Like an ragged old cart Pulled through the field Hours just dragging by With no end in sight Meaningless piece of paper Staring back at me Endless numbers placing me In a hypnotic sleep Just a drone To the all powerful God Sits in his diamond encrusted chariot High above Hitler incarnate He gives us the gold In exchange Takes our souls. 5
  • 12. misty, dark clouds sun hidden in grey skies dark shadows dancing 6
  • 13. the heavens open fire circle burning red still the tears wont dry 7
  • 14. Hollow Heart Sadness has taken me captive Whispers softly in my ear Feel the end is near Hollow heart With a river of tears Perfect smiles To disguise the thoughts Obsession or madness The line now erased The result is the same Sadness 8
  • 15. False Face You see my laughs You see my smiles And you think I am alright I say the things you want to hear Just so I can be alone Tired of faking Tired of lying Tired of pretending all is fine So much time Spent on my false face Sad to say Your humanly love Really Is killing me 9
  • 16. Euphoria An invisible sword Piercing my flesh A bloody high Followed by peaceful bliss Floating away Desperate to feel again Fleeting euphoria Stolen By reality All that remains Is a tiny scar A memento from my heaven 10
  • 17. black waters rising far away wind ravages ship bloody sharks are near 11
  • 18. Broken Im not normal Just a disappointment A broken shell Piece me back together Tiny cracks will always remain I will never change Accept me This girl is here to stay Shallow Silent cries Behind shallow smiles Feeling alone Sadness is about to swallow me whole You cant escape your own thoughts Sadness has taken over Mind, body and soul I cant keep holding on 12
  • 19. majestic moon shines empty room reflects its light goodbye letter 13
  • 20. Desolate Blind with rage Weakened with pain Smashed my hopes An alien in my mind Stripped my soul Took control Overnight No longer a warrior Just, a submissive follower A lawless world Actions unnoticed Justified sadness Rational explanation Now, you leave? A desolate baby I fear My beloved depression You are my world 14
  • 21. Jaded I am in a dark place Hiding my true face, Faking a laugh, Faking a smile, To ensure you dont discover all my lies, I am not the girl you see, Just an imitation of the girl I wish I could be I am dying inside, Fading slowly, Jaded thinking, Slowly depression has taken over Happiness is gone forever. 15
  • 22. Promised Liberation Holy Name Promised liberation A price tag attached Our saviour or jailer? Pain and Pleasure Inflicted In his holy name His fallen angels Seek salvation at his Divine feet The supreme Lord Krshna 16
  • 24. Drowning Loneliness An infectious disease I do try But silent tears I still cry Drowning Cant you see? Im not the angel I pretend to be You say you love me Youre never really here All I have is my depression It never disappears 18
  • 25. Heartbreak Endless hours Quiet Contemplation Tears hitting Polished wooden floors Barbed wire Grating against my raw pale skin Blankly staring Waiting... for a ring Each time I hear a noise A touch of electricity Vibrates through my shattered heart Hoping it's him Disappointment Realization He is never coming home 19
  • 27. Going Home Porcelain Princess Perfect in every way wishing it all away Underneath Shattered glass tearing into her perfect skin Burning inside like scalding hot coals Begs to be free Wrapped in lies Tired of pretending all is fine Captured In a self made prison Built with haunted memories And forgotten smiles All alone Finally she is going home Buried alive In all her pain Covered in dirt Now one with the earth 21
  • 28. The Race Running a race Life Weighing on my shoulders All this strife Where is the finishing line? Caught a glimpse But its disappeared Into the sweet abyss Like my happiness Always an illusion I want to take the easy way out But I will keep running Pain wont get the better of me 22
  • 29. Family Make me feel guilty Think I am selfish I am in control To you I am not strong enough Do you really know me? Is this is the way I want to be? Helping me? No I can never be the person you want me to be I am doing my best Try and be family Not like all the rest 23
  • 30. brown leaves crush running in fear lies catching up 24
  • 31. Cycle I can feel it creeping back An injured bird I cannot fly Will be stuck in my depression For a little while Seems like eternity Each minute crawling by Then my mood will pick up I will be free to fly Its a cycle I have come to know well 25
  • 32. Shattered My acid tears Thrown in his face Corroding his scaly skin Burning into his animal flesh A simple disappointment Leaving Shattered promises I remember our first kiss Only now I realize You were kissing her too Holding me tight While keeping her warm at night Sadly My love for you is stronger than my hate 26
  • 33. Released Pain Tiny slit Sweet release Blood droplets Hypnotize me A fountain of blood Dancing on the crystal water Floating away Darkness has destroyed the pain End is near Now free Blood has released me 27
  • 34. Doll Emptiness consumes me An infectious disease No escape Silent tears Depression in control Drowning Pretending You say you love me But you're never really here My dear depression Never disappears Like a rag doll Thrown in the trash Come back See through my fa巽ade I may not say this a lot But I love you 28
  • 35. Living in Hell Level headed Intelligent Smart enough to know the consequences of my actions Causing the ones I love to suffer I am the one living in hell Excuse me I dont feel for you Live in the darkness See how long you stay Before you wish it all away 29
  • 36. Whole Again You pretend to care, Say what I want to hear You broke my heart Into tiny pieces, Im living in a hell that you created, I am in pain Somehow, wish you could feel the same, Seeing you suffer, Will make me whole again. 30
  • 37. Obsessed I am sitting here alone, Constantly having obsessive thoughts of you, You come back into my life, Just to hurt me again, With all the tears I cry My pillow is stained, You make me happy You make me sad, But I let you do it each time, I cant let you go My obsession with you just grows, You are not good for me So leave my thoughts Please Then maybe this heartache will cease. 31
  • 38. love promises forever one until temptation 32
  • 39. Cutting Death Somedays I wake up Brave enough To grab my trusty blade Slice away My human coat A snake My fake skin Will shed Revealing A scared Tortured Ugly Little girl Who simply wants love 33
  • 40. Rejection Wide open space Filled with laughs Happy thoughts Devils playing I sit alone Watching Wondering why I cant seem to smile Abandoned Hear them talk Point to me Then they laugh Like a blade slicing into my skin I stare at them Waiting for the bell to ring Seeking acceptance But receiving rejection 34
  • 41. ground warmed by the sun bell rings devils free to play outcast, angel sits 35
  • 42. Dark Face Stuck in a dark room All alone Consumed in darkness Cant find the door Can anyone hear my call? Afraid I will be stuck here forever Its hopeless Depression has finally taken over 36
  • 43. Wide Open Thank you Caused me pain Stole my self esteem Pretending To give a damn Made me a fool You lost the best thing that could ever happen to you Well my eyes are now wide open Too late, I have moved on Hope it doesnt work out for you 37
  • 44. Broken Anger I am filled with anger, And seek revenge Is that so bad? When I feel like the living dead I want the world to stop, Bleed the way I bleed, Feel the pain I feel, Hurt the way I hurt, Judge me if you dare I am already torn and broken Do you think I care? Let me know when you reached perfection Then maybe your opinion will be worth my attention 38
  • 46. Escape When I scream No one can hear Cutting Easy escape All they see Girl I pretend to be Smile Laugh Fake happiness All a fa巽ade Just for you My dear family 40
  • 47. Contempt Tired Leave me All figured out Rather Live a lie You lost control A battlefield you created No winners Created hatred and contempt 41
  • 48. Miss You Quarter past three Wishing you were here I sit crying Do you think of me? I keep wondering Do you miss me Like I miss you? Are you with another girl? Is she making you smile? I hate you You made me hurt Please dont leave me 42
  • 50. awe of a tiger ready to kill willing prey still 44
  • 51. dark winter begins bringing rebirth through death dead walk spirits speak 45
  • 52. Afterlife This life is a curse Soon it shall pass Dont cry for me The after bliss will not last Back to earth I shall fall Till heaven does call I wait patiently To be blessed with your light Maybe I should keep up the fight As difficult as it maybe I know greatness awaits me 46
  • 53. Fake Pretending We see the smiles Behind closed doors Suffering Eventually Just exhausting All that lying Scared of opinions Blind To the obvious Everyone has a secret 47
  • 54. Fire Anger Ready to burn me to ashes Consumes me day and night Cant escape It helps me cope Especially now When I lost all hope I have no control It makes me feel so good For a second in time While silently Crushes My soul inside 48
  • 55. Addicted Each Day Chipping away Hands Shaking Numb and Empty Like cyanide Ravaging my body Once my saviour Now my kidnapper White coated pills Gradually Swallowing Me whole 49
  • 56. friends dance in the rain leaving wet blanket 50
  • 58. soft green grass vegetarian cuts it killer 52
  • 60. warm sea sand building castles homeless mind 54
  • 63. About the Author Yoshira Marbel is 27 years old and lives in the vibrant coastal city of Durban, South Africa. The city's various population provide a rich tapestry of inspiration and heartbreak which endlessly fuel her writing. This is her first published collection, but it is by no means the last of her poetry.
  • 64. Special Thanks This books print publication would not have been possible without the financial support of the following people, who pledged to its Kickstarter fundraiser: John and Caroline Wise Michelle Bar-Evan Tyler Hurst Nancy Kress Jennifer White Brian LaPan Michael and Hillary Oliver Bill Jonas Jr. The greatest thanks goes to Bill Jonas Jr., whose contribution went above and beyond even his own initial expectations. Thank you, one and all. Your support has allowed hopes and dreams to be fulfilled, and will open new avenues of possibility for bringing this work to the world.
  • 65. Acknowledgements My best friend Karishma for all your support, encouragement and love, tolerating my craziness, and being willing to risk bad karma for me. G.C. Throughout this collection you have been my inspiration. You will never know the extent of the emotional turmoil your actions have caused in my life nor realize how a simple lie or insult can destroy another persons mental stability, but you forced me to remove my rose-tinted glasses and see the world as it truly is. The disregard you have shown towards my feelings allowed my inner-strength to shine, and I thank you. You could never see the clear path I have given you to my soul and foolishly I have never been able to lock the door. I wish I could hate you. To the people who have so kindly voiced their opinions on my social skills and unwillingness to participate in mindless conversations, to those who equate silence with stupidity, to the spineless men who lost me, and to the people who have the overwhelming desire to share their imperfect knowledge of mental illness with me, Thank you doesnt seem to fully describe the feelings I have for you so I would rather say Fuck you. To the reasons why I am alive; Seroquel, Wellbutrin, and Lamictal, you have seen me through the darkest days of my life. Finally, a big thank you to me, for being the brilliant, obsessive, intelligent, depressed, talented, schizoid person that I am. You are awesome.
  • 66. more poetry from Modern Evil Press by Yoshira Marbel: Unspecified by Teel McClanahan III: The Vintage Collection Worth 1k --- Volume 1 A collection of poetry instead of pictures Worth 1k --- Volume 2 Working, eating, pain and longing