IPLDay - Why it’s worth celebrating, Michelle Black, Canada
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This document provides guidance on writing in plain language. It discusses the key principles of plain language: 1) Being brief by avoiding unnecessary words. 2) Being simple by using everyday language. 3) Being organized with a clear structure. 4) Being friendly by using a respectful, helpful tone. 5) Being action-oriented by telling the reader what to do. The document provides examples of "before and after" rewrites that apply these principles to make communications more clear and concise for the reader. It also discusses some basic design principles for visual clarity.
IPLDay - Why it’s worth celebrating, Michelle Black, Canada
- 1. Welcome!
- 2. Why are we celebrating? Why should you join us?
- 3. Plain language is 1. Brief 2. Simple 3. Organized 4. Friendly 5. Action-oriented
- 4. Plain language is brief. "I am sorry this is such a long letter, but I did not have the time to write a short one." - Mark Twain © 2012
- 5. Plain language is brief. Before We are currently experiencing problems with the Branch Network foreign exchange strategies portal. An investigation of the problem is underway by our technicians and an additional advisory will be issued upon resolution of the issue. After We are having problems with the portal that serves foreign strategies data to your branches. Our technicians are looking into the problem and will let you know when they have resolved it. © 2012
- 6. Plain language is brief. Before Tellers are to process the transactions the day they are made, if possible, thus avoiding or minimizing delays in the cheque or remittance clearing processes. This will require the collaboration of managers to ensure prompt adoption of this new procedure. © 2012
- 7. Plain language is brief. After We will aim to process transactions on the same day the customer makes them, so that we avoid or reduce clearing delays for cheque and remittance. Your managers will need to work with us and their teams, to help them follow the new process. © 2012
- 8. Plain language is simple. “Simplicity before understanding is simplistic; simplicity after understanding is simple.” - Eduard De Bono © 2012
- 9. Plain language is simple. Before This process has passed CAT, and will initiate a new paradigm in B2B transactional capacity. After This process has passed its test with our customers, and will make us better able to process business-to-business transactions. © 2012
- 10. Plain language is simple. Before An enamelectomy may be indicated if patient experiences excessive neuralgia. After You can have us repair your tooth enamel to relieve pain. © 2012
- 11. Plain language is organized. “Out of clutter, find simplicity.” - Albert Einstein “Order is the shape upon which beauty depends.” - Pearl S. Buck
- 12. Plain language is organized. Before Dear Valued Customer, Originator's Last Name: Rogers Nelson Originator's First Name: Prince Date Received: 2004-02-16 Call Type: MAC Call Sub-Type: Sanctioning Call Category: Aliant Call Status: Open Your request will be completed no later than: 2004-03-08 Call Description: Your request has been assigned Customer Care Queue number 00191495. Please refer to this number when making inquiries. In most cases, a Request Completion Target Date is assigned immediately at the opening of the ticket. If no date appears above, please contact us via a reply to this message.
- 13. Plain language is organized. After Dear Valued Customer, Thank you for your request. We have assigned this Customer Care Queue number: 00191495 Please refer to this number if you contact us about your request. Response Date: no later than 2004-03-08 Our systems usually assign a Response Date right away when we reserve your place in our queue. If you do not see a date above, let us know by replying to this message. Customer Last Name: Rogers Nelson Customer First Name: Prince Date Received: 2004-02-16 -------------------------------------- Call Type: MAC Sub-Type: Sanctioning Category: Aliant Status: Open © 2012
- 14. Plain language is friendly. "I love words but I don't like strange ones. You don't understand them and they don't understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know 'em the minute you see 'em." - Will Rogers © 2012
- 15. Plain language is friendly. Before Failure to send a prompt and timely response to this notice may result in discontinuation of a recipient’s benefits under this program. After If you do not reply to us soon, we may have to put your benefits on hold. © 2012
- 16. Plain language is action-oriented. "Web users want actionable content; they don't want to fritter away their time on (otherwise enjoyable) stories that are tangential to their current goals …" - Jakob Neilsen www.UseIt.com © 2012
- 17. Plain language is action-oriented. Before Failure to send a prompt and timely response to this notice may result in discontinuation of a recipient’s benefits under this program. After If you do not reply to us by May 18, we may have to put your benefits on hold. Along with the address at the top of this message, you can reach us right away by phone or email: 416-555-3555 michelle.black@simplyread.ca
- 18. Juggling the jargon… Actionable Run it up the flagpole RAMP-UP When the rubber hits the road RAISE THE BAR Value-add SYNERGIES Let’s workshop it! Brain dump PROACTIVE low-hanging fruit Get traction WIN-WIN Throw him under the bus © 2012
- 19. How motivated are you to read long, complex communications? © 2012
- 20. Clear, helpful business communication considers the reader’s time and tools. © 2012
- 21. Can your reader act on your message from where they are? © 2012
- 22. Before – a PowerPoint Presentation Purpose To provide you with: • background information on the Services Delivered by Community Service Organizations Act, 2008 and the requirements for the application process for Local Outreach Services (LOS) funded services and systems (Sections I & II); • information on the provincial framework that will guide worker input on the development of regional delivery criteria for the delivery of support division functions in York region (Section III); • an overview of the Service team’s employee engagement process to inform the development of regional delivery criteria for the delivery of branch service functions (Section IV); and • information on how you can be involved in the process (Section IV). © 2012
- 23. After – Same presentation, fewer words Today we will talk about: Section 1 How the Community Services system is changing Section 2 The new way to apply for social supports Section 3 Setting up Service Hubs and other plans for this year Section 4 What is happening in your region? Get involved! Here’s how … © 2012
- 24. Some clear design basics Use a readable type size. Use left justification. Keep the number of different fonts or typefaces to a minimum. Make sure there is lots of ‘white space.’ Use headings, images and space between paragraphs. © 2012
- 25. Some clear design basics (cont’d) Avoid ‘old style’ features: ALL CAPS Underlining long lines of text on a page (including in long hyperlink addresses or URLs) Long reams of close-together text in italic font which make the eyes have to strain to read and seem to flicker if you stare at them onscreen for too long. See what I mean? Very ornate fonts (these also strain the eye) colours that recede or too many colours Blinking text on websites © 2012
- 26. Before We are grateful in advance for your attention to our presentation. After Thanks for reading this! www.simplyread.ca
Editor's Notes
- #5: Well known writer on logic and cognition.
- #6: (in the more negative voice it’s “omit needless words” a la Strunk and White
- #7: Quote Strunk & White (prefer needless over useless)
- #9: Well known writer on logic and cognition.
- #10: If you cannot use simpler words, then define new ones
- #12: Well known writer on logic and cognition.
- #15: Well known writer on logic and cognition.
- #16: If you cannot use simpler words, then define new ones
- #17: Well known writer on logic and cognition.
- #18: If you cannot use simpler words, then define new ones
- #19: My brainstorm:raise the barabove and beyondget traction on _________ramp upaction thisworld-classsynergy/synergisticallylow-hanging fruitwin-winproactiveinitiativeRandom Mission Statement Generator: http://www.netinsight.co.uk/portfolio/mission/missgen.asp (or can google)Also mention article about jargon
- #20: Along with it being fatiguing, and making it harder for us to act on what we read, we may not feel that our time and expertise is being respected.
- #21: “notice I didn’t say ‘actionable’” e-mailsE-mail Practice with reading e-mail has evolved with the technology. People have become more accustomed to it overall, and now use blackberries, phones and other portable devices to read it. But while we are more used to managing e-mail, we have also become more discriminating in how we read it – many e-mail readers are unforgiving about how they sort through the information they receive. ‘Txtng’People used to using numbers for lettersThey are also used to reading incorrect punctuationIt’s less likely that they are perceiving sender differently because of errorsBlackberries, iPhonesMore scrolling is needed; only first few lines are on auto-displayAttachments are next-to-impossible to read quicklyPeople are replying without access to original info (don’t read thread or are remote from files in office)
- #23: This is a PPT that does not consider the reader’s time or the tool being used to communicate…this looks more like something lifted from a report than like a presentation.
- #24: How does this one compare?
- #25: Use a readable type size (at least 12 points).Use left justification (also called ‘ragged right’)Keep the number of different fonts or typefaces to a minimum.Make sure there is lots of ‘white space.’Use headings, images and space between paragraphs to visually break up your information.(in full justification – change the justification of the presentation to show how the view/readability changes)Now we will look at some examples of clear, attractive designs, along with some others where it could be improved…
- #26: (in full justification – change the justification of the presentation to show how the view/readability changes)What you want:- Heads and subheads- ‘Chunking’Now we will look at some examples of clear, attractive designs, along with some others where it could be improved…