...dreaming ....of dancing in ballet wear, singing out loud in an auditorium, riding a horse like a prof equestrian, driving a race car at brc, bungee jumping on top of a hill, rock climbing on a mall, fitting into my old red and blue tank top, travelling alone, sun bathing in palawan, jogging everyday, waking up at 5 am, never drinking meds, hating coffee, eating ripe jackfruit for dessert, learning how to play the slot machine, wearing heavy make up, hand washing my clothes...