Personal Information
Organization / Workplace
Bettendorf, Iowa
Occupation
Sheakley
About
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I woo women with my sensuous and God-like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I cook thirty-minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I was the first member to have a Members Only jacket, I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, and I manage time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for three days in a row. I am an expert in Stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. I once handcuffed a one arm man in less than 13 seconds.
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