Yes, I can develop web sites... but no, I won't do it for the contents of your money jar, so don't ask as refusal may offend.
I don't know specifically why your home computer is slow/broken/won't print/can't get online... it could be any one of a thousand million things. I'm a programmer, go talk to an infrastructure guy. Look: there's one over there hiding behind the curtains!
I don't care about your daughter/brother/aunt/long-lost-friend who "works with computers"
Don't glaze over because I said "Database" when you asked me the question
"no one can justify me....."
"Happy to help"