What more can I say about myself than what's already been written on bathroom walls, liner notes and Adrien Brody's Oscar acceptance speech?
I love ostriches and I hate monkeys.
Don't tell me I can't do something because I will, and better than even I imagined.
I will laugh at you if you fall down the stairs. If there's blood or an exposed bone, I'll help you at the same time.
Scatological humor is abnormally funny to me.
I am incredibly judgemental but am well aware of my own glass house.
I am a flawed human. With incredibly tall hair.
I really, really like to make the people in my life feel important, valued and loved. But if you make me feel like I don't matter, I gotta go.
I am a
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