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Adding more power

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The document provides tips for writing concisely by eliminating unnecessary words, substituting pronouns, combining sentences, and using an active rather than passive voice. Some examples given include deleting repeated words, substituting pronouns, using elliptical clauses, creating appositives, combining sentences, and eliminating wordy prepositional phrases. The overall message is that concise writing is more powerful and engaging by removing excess words and using an active voice.

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Advice on Adding More PowerI dont want a passive voice. I want an active oneHelp!!
Delete repeated WordsWordy: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as the disease known as Reyes syndrome.Concise: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as Reyes syndrome.
Substituting a PronounWordy: Agatha Christies Miss Marplehas solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of Miss Marplesmost challenging cases.Concise: Agatha Christies Miss Marple has solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of her most challenging cases.
Using Elliptical ClausesWordy: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston; the White House is a popular tourist attraction in Washington, DCConcise: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston: the White House, in Washington, DC.
Creating AppositivesWordy: Red Barber was a sportscaster. He was known for his colorful expressions.Concise: Red Barber, a sportscaster, was known for his colorful expressions.
Creating CompoundsWordy: Huckleberry Finn is an adventure story. It is also a sad account of an abused, neglected child.Concise: Huckleberry Finn is both an adventure story and a sad account of an abused, neglected child.
Creating Complex SentencesWordy: Americans value freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment.Concise: Americans value freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by the First Amendment.
Eliminating Passive ConstructionsExcessive use of the passive voice can make sentences ramble. You can change this problem by changing passive to active voice..
Wordy: Buy American rallies are being organized by concerned Americans who hope that jobs can be saved by such gatherings.Concise: Concerned Americans are organizing Buy American rallies, hoping that such gatherings can save jobs.
Eliminating Wordy Prepositional PhrasesWhen you revise, substitute adjectives or adverbs for wordy prepositional phrases..Wordy: The trip was one of danger but also one of excitement.Concise: The trip was dangerous but exciting.
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no powerless sentencesRevise for power.Push for an active voice, not a passive one.

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Adding more power

  • 1. Advice on Adding More PowerI dont want a passive voice. I want an active oneHelp!!
  • 2. Delete repeated WordsWordy: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as the disease known as Reyes syndrome.Concise: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as Reyes syndrome.
  • 3. Substituting a PronounWordy: Agatha Christies Miss Marplehas solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of Miss Marplesmost challenging cases.Concise: Agatha Christies Miss Marple has solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of her most challenging cases.
  • 4. Using Elliptical ClausesWordy: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston; the White House is a popular tourist attraction in Washington, DCConcise: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston: the White House, in Washington, DC.
  • 5. Creating AppositivesWordy: Red Barber was a sportscaster. He was known for his colorful expressions.Concise: Red Barber, a sportscaster, was known for his colorful expressions.
  • 6. Creating CompoundsWordy: Huckleberry Finn is an adventure story. It is also a sad account of an abused, neglected child.Concise: Huckleberry Finn is both an adventure story and a sad account of an abused, neglected child.
  • 7. Creating Complex SentencesWordy: Americans value freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment.Concise: Americans value freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by the First Amendment.
  • 8. Eliminating Passive ConstructionsExcessive use of the passive voice can make sentences ramble. You can change this problem by changing passive to active voice..
  • 9. Wordy: Buy American rallies are being organized by concerned Americans who hope that jobs can be saved by such gatherings.Concise: Concerned Americans are organizing Buy American rallies, hoping that such gatherings can save jobs.
  • 10. Eliminating Wordy Prepositional PhrasesWhen you revise, substitute adjectives or adverbs for wordy prepositional phrases..Wordy: The trip was one of danger but also one of excitement.Concise: The trip was dangerous but exciting.
  • 11. Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no powerless sentencesRevise for power.Push for an active voice, not a passive one.