Compassionate Communication NVC & mediation ENG slides.pptx
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Compassionate Communication
Compassionate Communication NVC & mediation ENG slides.pptx
- 3. ¡°A specific approach to commun speaking and listening- that lea to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way th allows our natural compassion Marshall Rosenberg
- 5. ?????? ???? ????????? ??????????? ????????? ?????? ??? ??????? ??????????? ????????? ?????? ??????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ??????????
- 8. After hearing the story, indicate whether the following statements about this story are true (T), false (F), or you need more information (?) ___ 1. A man appeared after the owner had turned off his store lights. ___ 2. The robber was a man. ___ 3. The man did not demand money. ___ 4. The man who opened the cash register was the owner. ___ 5. After the man who demanded the money scooped up the contents of the cash register, he ran away. ___ 6. Someone opened a cash register.
- 9. A businessman had just turned off the lights in the store when a man appeared and demanded money. The owner opened a cash register. The contents of the cash register were scooped up, and the man sped away. A member of the police force was notified promptly. ___ 1. A man appeared after the owner had turned off his store lights. ___ 2. The robber was a man. ___ 3. The man did not demand money. ___ 4. The man who opened the cash register was the owner. ___ 5. After the man who demanded the money scooped up the contents of the cash register, he ran away. ___ 6. Someone opened a cash register. ___ 7. While the cash register contained money, the story
- 10. ¡°Observing without evaluating Is the highest form of human intelligence¡± J. Krishnamurti
- 11. A pure observation will be only what a video camera could record.
- 12. Evaluations, Judgements, Criticism. Observation ¡°What is seen/ heard¡± Tim procrastinates. Tim studies for exams the night before. Messi is a poor soccer player. Messi has not scored a goal in 20 games. Sue is stubborn and uncooperative Sue stomps her feet and says ¡°NO!¡± Your are inconsiderate. We had agreed to meet at 8 and you arrived at 9.30 Tom is ugly. Tom¡¯s looks don¡¯t
- 13. Pure evaluation Pure observation
- 15. Observation vs. evaluation, blame, judgment Feelings vs. non-feeli
- 17. How could you say a thing like that to me?
- 18. I really don¡¯t like with how heavy I¡¯m getting.
- 19. I feel you don¡¯t love me.
- 20. How could I do something so stupid?
- 21. Distinguish feelings from thoughts I feel that you should know better. I feel like a failure. I feel it is useless. I feel my boss is being manipulative.
- 22. Perceptions disguised as feelings I feel abandoned ignored attacked insulted betrayed invisible bullied left out cornered unloved neglected misunderstood
- 26. Name it to tame it ????????? ?????? ???? ????????
- 27. Observation vs. evaluation, blame, judgment Feelings Needs vs. non-feeli vs. strategies
- 30. No matter what other people d we can connect with their need
- 31. If we listen to needs, not strategies We can understand those who are different from us.
- 32. Observation vs. evaluation, blame, judgment Feelings Needs vs. non-feeli vs. strategies
- 33. P L A T O eople ?? ocation ??????? ction ???????? ime ???? bject ???????
- 34. You are always judging other people.
- 35. He never likes anything I cook.
- 36. There¡¯s no responsible leadership in sight in this country.
- 37. That was a racist thing to say.
- 38. Giraffe and Jackal Attack or run away. Judgments, blame, criticism, evaluations. Speaking and listening from the heart. Connecting with feelings and needs.
- 39. Jackal ears out blaming others ¡°You¡¯ re so stupid.¡± ? ¡°She¡¯s the laziest person I¡¯ve ever known¡± ? ¡°He¡¯s too boring¡±
- 40. Jackal ears in blaming oneself ¡°I¡¯m worthless.¡± ? ¡°I¡¯m incompetent.¡± ? ¡°I¡¯m a terrible mother.¡±
- 41. Giraffe ears out Understanding others ¡°I wonder if you¡¯re feeling annoyed because you want some help and cooperation.¡± ¡°Are you feeling sad because you are wanting to be understood?¡±
- 42. Giraffe ears in understanding oneself ¡°I¡¯m feeling confused and needing clarity¡± ¡°I¡¯m scared and I want safety.¡±
- 43. Your daughter say ¡°You never understand me!¡±
- 44. Your friend say to you ¡°You never show up on time. I¡¯m so sick of having to wait for you.¡±
- 45. After you proposed a new project, you colleague say, ¡°That¡¯s a dumb idea.¡±
- 46. You and your supervisor have a confrontation. Then he say, ¡°You are required to take an anger management class.¡±
- 48. Observation vs. evaluation, blame, judgment Feelings Needs Request vs. non-feeli vs. strategies vs. demand
- 49. Request ? Asking for what we want, instead of what we don¡¯t want ? Doable ? Concrete and clear ¡°PLATO¡± ? Open to hearing a ¡°no¡±
- 50. Two types of requests 1. Connecting requests: - For Reflection: ¡°Would you tell me what you heard me say?¡± - For response: ¡° How do you feel about what I¡¯ve said?¡± ¡°What do you think?¡± 2. Solution requests: ¡°Would you be will to¡.. (strategy)?¡±
- 51. Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being. - Marshall Rosenberg -
- 52. No mud, No lotus ??????????? ??????? ?????? ??? ???
- 53. Transfoming Jackal ears in - Get into a group of 3 - Write down a judgment you have of yourself that you¡¯d like to explore. - A tells B,C about the judgment. - B uses feeling cards, C uses need cards to help A connect fully with needs behind the judgment. - A. takes time to connect with your beautiful needs. - Write down any potential strategies to meet more of your needs than you¡¯ve been able to meet previously.
- 54. Dance of life - Form groups of 3 - A. think of a conflict that you¡¯ve had with another person, ¡°your enemy¡±. Tells B,C about the conflict briefly. - Pick a gesture, statements that expresses your reaction to your ¡°enemy¡± - Pick a gesture, statements for your enemy (B). C is an observer. - Ask your enemy to act out their gesture or say their statements, and do your gesture and say your statements in response. Connect with your F&N. - Repeat a few times until you feel some shift inside. - A moves to B. Repeat the process until you have a sense of some understanding of who this person is inside. - A moves to C. Repeat the process until you have a sense of some understanding (or A can choose to move to C first and then B) - At the end A comes back to yourself. B acts out and A responses.
- 55. When the soul lies down in th grass, The world is too full to talk ab Rumi Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I¡¯ll meet you there.
- 56. NVC Mediation ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ?? ? ?
- 57. NVC mediator ¨C Help the parties to communicate in a way that leads to understanding and connection between them.
- 59. Outer conflicts / Inner confli
- 61. Observation vs. evaluation, blame, judgment Feelings Needs Request vs. non-feeli vs. strategies vs. demand
- 62. Five Steps of NVC Mediatio 1 Empathize with A and surface their needs. 2 Ask B to reflect A¡¯s needs. 3 Ask B what want to say. Empathize with B and surface their needs. 4 Ask A to reflect B¡¯s needs. Repeat 1-4 until both parties feel heard and un 5 Support clear doable requests and agreements
- 63. Listening and translating Helping the parties to reflect back what they have heard Interrupting Emergency First Aid Empathy Self-Empathy and self-expression
- 65. Harmony, Community, Peace Contribution To be seen Hope Meaning Efficiency Motivations M A B
- 67. M A B
- 70. By listening with calmness and un we can ease the suffering of an Thich Nhat Hanh
- 73. Listening and translating Helping the parties to reflect back what they have heard
- 74. M A B
- 76. ¡°Pulling someone by the ear
- 77. Listening and translating Helping the parties to reflect back what they have heard Interrupting
- 78. M A B
- 79. The Use of Force 1 Punitive use of Force (?? ????????????????) 2 Protective use of Force (?? ?????????????????)
- 80. Listening and translating Helping the parties to reflect back what they have heard Interrupting Emergency First Aid Empathy
- 81. M A B
- 82. Listening and translating Helping the parties to reflect back what they have heard Interrupting Emergency First Aid Empathy Self-Empathy and self-expression
- 83. Jackal ears out blaming others Jackal ears in blaming mysel
- 84. M A B
- 85. Five Steps of NVC Mediatio 1 Empathize with A and surface their needs. 2 Ask B to reflect A¡¯s needs. 3 Ask B what want to say. Empathize with B and surface their needs. 4 Ask A to reflect B¡¯s needs. Repeat 1-4 until both parties feel heard and un 5 Support clear doable requests and agreements
- 87. When we understand the needs hat motivates our own and others behavio we have no enemies.
- 88. Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.
Editor's Notes
- #5: ??????? ????????? ????????????????? connect with people that we care and inspire us to practice. Think of them for a moment.
- #6: 4 components of the NVC model
- #8: When we combine observation with evaluation, people often hear it as criticism.
- #9: A businessman had just turned off the lights in the store when a man appeared and demanded money. The owner opened a cash register. The contents of the cash register were scooped up, and the man sped away. A member of the police force was notified promptly.
- #10: A businessman had just turned off the lights in the store when a man appeared and demanded money. The owner opened a cash register. The contents of the cash register were scooped up, and the man sped away. A member of the police force was notified promptly.
- #15: Think of something you have done in your life that in some way has contributed to making life more wonderful for someone. How do you feel when you recall that? It enriches our life. It feels good.
- #23: , signifying someone has power over me to make me feel this way:
- #27: Mindfulness practice helps strengthening the pft. 3 deep breaths move the activities from lower to upper brain.
- #39: ?a giraffe's heart is 2 feet (0.6 m) long and weighs about 25 lbs. (11 kg).?
- #49: 4 components of the NVC model
- #62: 4 components of the NVC model