際際滷

際際滷Share a Scribd company logo
constructive conflict 2:
communication
the dirty dozen
1. Ordering, directing, commanding
2. Warning, threatening, promising
3. Moralizing, Preaching, Shoulds and Oughts
4. Advising, giving solutions or suggestions
5. Teaching, Lecturing, giving Logical Arguments
6. Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
7. Praising, Agreeing
8. Shaming, Ridiculing, Chastising
9. Interpreting, Analyzing, Diagnosing
10.Reassuring, Sympathizing, Consoling, Supporting
11.Probing, Questioning, Interrogating
12.Withdrawing, Distracting, Humoring, Diverting
*exercise: dirty dozen charades*
1. when [X] happened
2. it was a problem for me because
[Y]
3. what I want instead is [Z]
4. what do you think?
clean communication
*exercise: clean communication*
empathetic reflection
reflect content and emotions
1. when [X] happened
2. it was a problem for you because
[Y]
3. what you want instead is [Z]
4. do I have that right?
end up with a clean
summary
1. show empathy and attention in your
body, face, tone, and choice of words
2. reflect, dont distort
3. check your understanding
4. communicate your care
5. highlight emotions, summarize content
how to empathetically
reflect
*exercise: empathetic reflection*

More Related Content

Constructive Conflict 2: Communication

Editor's Notes

  • #2: Intro round talking point: what stuck with you the most from last time what did you find yourself thinking about, or applying in your work? Reminder: whats said here stays here Reminder: questions are more important than answers, take what you like and leave the rest This is one way to approach, not the only way
  • #3: Using the dirty dozen, try to communicate dirty and see if someone in the group can catch what it is. Dirty dozen charades I will try to talk to them about something that happened, and they have to use this dirty dozen to respond, until group guesses what kind of communication it is DIRTY COMMUNICATION IS USED FOR COMPETING, ACCOMMODATING, COMPROMISING, AVOIDING And is based on the idea that somebody wins, somebody loses, we have to divide the pie
  • #4: These are all versions of -fighting to win -accommodating to end the conflict -trying to convince someone there is no problem/avoid
  • #5: Using the dirty dozen, try to communicate dirty and see if someone in the group can catch what it is. Dirty dozen charades I will try to talk to them about something that happened, and they have to use this dirty dozen to respond, until group guesses what kind of communication it is DIRTY COMMUNICATION IS USED FOR COMPETING, ACCOMMODATING, COMPROMISING, AVOIDING And is based on the idea that somebody wins, somebody loses, we have to divide the pie
  • #6: Clean communication contains your needs plus my needs It got in the way of my need for x I felt x Body sensations
  • #7: Using the inarguable truth idea (body sensations, mental interpretations use a CBT cross section, for example) describe whats going on for you Use your scenario from last time, and/or a conflict scenario When you [inarguable truth description of behavior] I [inarguable description of what you experience, revealing core need which may be interfered with] What I want is [behavior the other person could do to help your need be met] What do you think? CLEAN COMMUNICATION is CONSTRUCTIVE, and is based on the idea that a WIN WIN is possible you win AND I win
  • #8: Discuss Whats empathy
  • #9: Point here is: by using empathetic reflection, you can get the clean communication statement out of them Basis of conflict resolution Play with identifying feelings & feeling words Exercise: Come up with as many feeling words as possible, we map them into the domains: mad, sad, glad, scared look for body language (play charades) again
  • #10: Clean communication contains your needs plus my needs It got in the way of my need for x I felt x Body sensations
  • #11: Clean communication contains your needs plus my needs It got in the way of my need for x I felt x Body sensations
  • #12: Demo: empathetic reflection Take notes, what does she say Ok do it for each other Step 1: do it when someone is communicating constructively Step 2: do it when someone is communicating dirty We will all do it with each other Just communicate naturally In the second part, up the ante now do it when someone is mad, and youre mad too