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I think this is hilarious! I
     NEVER HEARD
CREATION EXPLAINED
 THIS WAY BEFORE !!!
In the beginning, God created the
 Heavens and the Earth and populated
the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
     spinach, green and yellow and
red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
  Woman would live long and healthy
                 lives.
Then using God's great gifts,
Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme
Donuts. And Satan said, "You
  want chocolate with that?"
  And Man said, "Yes!" and
Woman said, "and as long as
    you're at it, add some
 sprinkles." And they gained
10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the
   healthful yogurt that
 Woman might keep the
figure that Man found so
 fair. And Satan brought
forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the
cane and combined them.
 And Woman went from
     size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green
   salad." And Satan presented
    Thousand-Island Dressing,
 buttery croutons and garlic toast
            on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened
 their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart
   healthy vegetables and olive oil in
    which to cook them." And Satan
    brought forth deep fried fish and
 chicken-fried steak so big it needed its
   own platter. And Man gained more
weight and his cholesterol went through
the roof. God then created a light, fluffy
   white cake, named it "Angel Food
Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
  created chocolate cake and named it
          "Devil's Food Cake."
God then brought forth
   running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra
pounds. And Satan gave cable
 TV with a remote control so
  Man would not have to toil
  changing the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and
cried before the flickering blue
   light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato,
  naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition. And Satan peeled off
   the healthful skin and sliced the
 starchy center into chips and deep-
fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
 might consume fewer calories and still
 satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
            McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said,
 "You want fries with that?" And Man
  replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
 And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
         went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created
quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created Cuts to the
    Health Care System.

            Amen
If you don't send this to five old
 friends right away there will be
five fewer people laughing in the
               world

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Creation

  • 1. I think this is hilarious! I NEVER HEARD CREATION EXPLAINED THIS WAY BEFORE !!!
  • 2. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
  • 3. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
  • 4. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
  • 5. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
  • 6. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food Cake."
  • 7. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
  • 8. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep- fried them. And Man gained pounds.
  • 9. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
  • 10. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
  • 11. Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System. Amen
  • 12. If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world