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Heart matters 101

Joseph Ukpong
Joseph Ukpong

This document provides definitions and conceptual ideas about emotional intimacy and common relationship assumptions such as friend zoning, flirtationships, and entanglements. It then discusses different types of love affairs and relationship models involving passion, intimacy, and commitment. The document also covers emotional intelligence strategies, potential relationship games and gimmicks, timelines for relationships to progress, and ways to build trust and enjoy the bliss of a relationship.

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Heart Matters With Uncle Joe
Table of Contents 01 Definitions Meanings and Conceptual Ideas 02 Relationship Model Roadmaps and Love Triangles 03 Emotional Insurance Emotional Intelligences 04 Sneak Peek Common Games and Gimmicks 05 Acceptance Timelines Know Where You Stand 06 Enjoying The Bliss Trust and Truth
Lets Get Started
Definitions Meanings and Conceptual Ideas 01
Emotional intimacy involves a perception of closeness to another that allows sharing of personal feelings, accompanied by expectations of understanding, affirmation, and demonstration of caring. Emotional Intimacy
Common Assumptions A friend zoning is a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other. A flirtationship is a relationship between two friends, where both people engage in flirtatious behavior without the promise of becoming anything more. This is very different from the Friend Zone and the Friends with Benefits. A flirtationship is situated somewhere in between those two. A friends with benefits relationship is one in which two people are physically intimate with one another, yet theyre not committed to each other in any way. People involved in a friends with benefits relationship clearly enjoy spending time together and hooking up, but their relationship isnt romantic and has no strings attached. A situationship is a romantic relationship that's undefined or uncommitted. It may be based on convenience or short-term circumstances. That doesn't mean a situationship can't have some or even all the trappings of a regular relationship, including an emotional connection.
Common Assumptions Cont. Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communicate made by said partner, friend, or individual. A curving is an ugly distant cousin of ghosting. When someone ghosts you, they just suddenly stop responding with no explanation or goodbye. When someone curves you, they keep responding, but they bat away any questions regarding commitment or any attempts to define your relationship. An entanglement is a co-dependency. This type of connection is not built on any explicit agreement, the principles, or boundaries to support the relationship are non-existent. In an entanglement, there is repeated violation of love, loyalty, respect, and safety. A bestie is a relationship maintained with a best friend or close friend, which involved two persons who unconditionally love to spend lots of time. Its a form of an inner emotional cycle of friendship that holds lots of secrecies and confidentialities. It is the fairest form of entanglement.
A love triangle is a sustained sexual and/or emotional attachment between two people, one of whom is in a committed relationship with another person. While a love triangle may begin with a casual, short term affair between these two people, the term generally refers to a more complex relationship. Common Assumptions Cont. A True love relationship is a strong and lasting affection between spouses or lovers who are in a happy, passionate and fulfilling relationship. An example of true love is the emotion shared between a couple who has been married for 40 years and who are still passionate about each other and care deeply for each other.
Relationship Model Roadmaps and Love Triangles 02
Types of Love Affairs Liking (Intimacy) Infatuation (Passion) Empty Love (Commitment) Fatuous Love (Commitment + Passion) Romantic Love (Passion + Intimacy) Companionate Love (Intimacy + Commitment) Consummate Love (Passion + Intimacy + Commitment)
Implications Love always develop thick skins for survival Mars Jupiter Love is the greatest gift you can give to your partner Uranus Love is stormy as much as our thoughts would lead us Venus Love doesnt promise eternity because its eternal Neptune Love always comes with its own supersonic winds Mercury Love is hot but not too hot for love icing to handle
Emotional Insurance Emotional Intelligences 03
Emotional Intelligences Actively seek change in your relationship View the challenges you encounter as opportunities rather than problems Respect all the feelings you have for each other Keep the laughter in your love life Pay attention to how you feel when your lover is not around Listen to your instincts rather than intuitive Heed the messages from your entire body system Take a chance on reaching out and know the state of things Know what you need vs. what you want in a romantic affair Communicate your emotions humbly and give your partner time to digest
Sneak Peak Games and Gimmicks of Love 04
Relationships Games and Gimmicks Hard To Get Mind Reading and Manipulation Going With The Flow Just Not That Into Him or Her Catching Cruise Enjoying While It Last Abusing and Threatening Blame and Playing The Victim Not Really Sure Of Anything
Acceptance Timelines Know Where You Stand 05
Relationship Process Meet Make Contact Connect Understand Yourselves Talk Know Each Other Convince Make a Decision What is the normal timeline for a relationship? Some people get engaged within months, while others wait years, decades, or they never do. Any of this is okay. It's even okay to never get married if you don't want to. But the average timeline for getting engaged is somewhere around the 1 遜 to 2-year mark.
ASHLEY PAPA RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE Establish Contacts --- On the 1st date Discuss Romantic History --- On the 2nd date Get Mutual --- After 3 dates Sleep Over --- After 3 to 5 dates See Each Others Homes --- DONT wait more than 1 month Meet Each Others Friends --- After 1 month Discuss Finances --- After 1 month Do Work Functions Together --- After 2 months Meet Each Others Family --- After 3 months Travel Together --- After 6 months Move in Together --- After 1 year
Build A Strong Front Practice non-judgmental listening with good perspectives Express gratitude and appreciation for the little things Indulge each others passions and enjoy yourselves Try something new together and learn Change your scenery and gain new experiences Address intimacy issues and get them resolved Show empathy, kindness and mutual respect
Enjoying The Bliss Trust and Truth 06
Heart matters 101
The Pledge I, Her, promise myself, future and current partner to maintain a relationship that is based on respect, equality, trust and honest communication. I will value my partners boundaries online and offline. I will never engage in any type of abuse physical, emotional, sexual, financial or digital. I pledge to remember, demonstrate and promote my commitments to you. I, Him, promise myself, future and current partner to maintain a relationship that is based on respect, equality, trust and honest communication. I will value my partners boundaries online and offline. I will never engage in any type of abuse physical, emotional, sexual, financial or digital. I pledge to remember, demonstrate and promote my commitments to you.
Thanks Do you have any questions? ukpongjoseph@gmail.com +2348038181564 https://www.linkedin.com/in/joseph-ukpong-5a540533/
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Heart matters 101

  • 2. Table of Contents 01 Definitions Meanings and Conceptual Ideas 02 Relationship Model Roadmaps and Love Triangles 03 Emotional Insurance Emotional Intelligences 04 Sneak Peek Common Games and Gimmicks 05 Acceptance Timelines Know Where You Stand 06 Enjoying The Bliss Trust and Truth
  • 5. Emotional intimacy involves a perception of closeness to another that allows sharing of personal feelings, accompanied by expectations of understanding, affirmation, and demonstration of caring. Emotional Intimacy
  • 6. Common Assumptions A friend zoning is a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other. A flirtationship is a relationship between two friends, where both people engage in flirtatious behavior without the promise of becoming anything more. This is very different from the Friend Zone and the Friends with Benefits. A flirtationship is situated somewhere in between those two. A friends with benefits relationship is one in which two people are physically intimate with one another, yet theyre not committed to each other in any way. People involved in a friends with benefits relationship clearly enjoy spending time together and hooking up, but their relationship isnt romantic and has no strings attached. A situationship is a romantic relationship that's undefined or uncommitted. It may be based on convenience or short-term circumstances. That doesn't mean a situationship can't have some or even all the trappings of a regular relationship, including an emotional connection.
  • 7. Common Assumptions Cont. Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communicate made by said partner, friend, or individual. A curving is an ugly distant cousin of ghosting. When someone ghosts you, they just suddenly stop responding with no explanation or goodbye. When someone curves you, they keep responding, but they bat away any questions regarding commitment or any attempts to define your relationship. An entanglement is a co-dependency. This type of connection is not built on any explicit agreement, the principles, or boundaries to support the relationship are non-existent. In an entanglement, there is repeated violation of love, loyalty, respect, and safety. A bestie is a relationship maintained with a best friend or close friend, which involved two persons who unconditionally love to spend lots of time. Its a form of an inner emotional cycle of friendship that holds lots of secrecies and confidentialities. It is the fairest form of entanglement.
  • 8. A love triangle is a sustained sexual and/or emotional attachment between two people, one of whom is in a committed relationship with another person. While a love triangle may begin with a casual, short term affair between these two people, the term generally refers to a more complex relationship. Common Assumptions Cont. A True love relationship is a strong and lasting affection between spouses or lovers who are in a happy, passionate and fulfilling relationship. An example of true love is the emotion shared between a couple who has been married for 40 years and who are still passionate about each other and care deeply for each other.
  • 10. Types of Love Affairs Liking (Intimacy) Infatuation (Passion) Empty Love (Commitment) Fatuous Love (Commitment + Passion) Romantic Love (Passion + Intimacy) Companionate Love (Intimacy + Commitment) Consummate Love (Passion + Intimacy + Commitment)
  • 11. Implications Love always develop thick skins for survival Mars Jupiter Love is the greatest gift you can give to your partner Uranus Love is stormy as much as our thoughts would lead us Venus Love doesnt promise eternity because its eternal Neptune Love always comes with its own supersonic winds Mercury Love is hot but not too hot for love icing to handle
  • 13. Emotional Intelligences Actively seek change in your relationship View the challenges you encounter as opportunities rather than problems Respect all the feelings you have for each other Keep the laughter in your love life Pay attention to how you feel when your lover is not around Listen to your instincts rather than intuitive Heed the messages from your entire body system Take a chance on reaching out and know the state of things Know what you need vs. what you want in a romantic affair Communicate your emotions humbly and give your partner time to digest
  • 15. Relationships Games and Gimmicks Hard To Get Mind Reading and Manipulation Going With The Flow Just Not That Into Him or Her Catching Cruise Enjoying While It Last Abusing and Threatening Blame and Playing The Victim Not Really Sure Of Anything
  • 17. Relationship Process Meet Make Contact Connect Understand Yourselves Talk Know Each Other Convince Make a Decision What is the normal timeline for a relationship? Some people get engaged within months, while others wait years, decades, or they never do. Any of this is okay. It's even okay to never get married if you don't want to. But the average timeline for getting engaged is somewhere around the 1 遜 to 2-year mark.
  • 18. ASHLEY PAPA RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE Establish Contacts --- On the 1st date Discuss Romantic History --- On the 2nd date Get Mutual --- After 3 dates Sleep Over --- After 3 to 5 dates See Each Others Homes --- DONT wait more than 1 month Meet Each Others Friends --- After 1 month Discuss Finances --- After 1 month Do Work Functions Together --- After 2 months Meet Each Others Family --- After 3 months Travel Together --- After 6 months Move in Together --- After 1 year
  • 19. Build A Strong Front Practice non-judgmental listening with good perspectives Express gratitude and appreciation for the little things Indulge each others passions and enjoy yourselves Try something new together and learn Change your scenery and gain new experiences Address intimacy issues and get them resolved Show empathy, kindness and mutual respect
  • 22. The Pledge I, Her, promise myself, future and current partner to maintain a relationship that is based on respect, equality, trust and honest communication. I will value my partners boundaries online and offline. I will never engage in any type of abuse physical, emotional, sexual, financial or digital. I pledge to remember, demonstrate and promote my commitments to you. I, Him, promise myself, future and current partner to maintain a relationship that is based on respect, equality, trust and honest communication. I will value my partners boundaries online and offline. I will never engage in any type of abuse physical, emotional, sexual, financial or digital. I pledge to remember, demonstrate and promote my commitments to you.
  • 23. Thanks Do you have any questions? ukpongjoseph@gmail.com +2348038181564 https://www.linkedin.com/in/joseph-ukpong-5a540533/