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How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits

Melissa Zalkin Stollman
Melissa Zalkin Stollman

It was February 14, 2018 at 2:22 pm in Parkland, FL when gunshots rang at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Most teen members at Congregation Kol Tikvah attend that high school. As a Jewish educator what do you that day, the days and months following and the year ahead to be helpful and relevant in their lives as they try to move forward? This session is about how to help heal a community in crisis, while discarding all of your current plans to make room for a new communal agenda you never ever wanted to face.

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HOW DO YOU PIVOT WHEN CRISIS HITS? Rabbi Melissa Zalkin Stollman, RJE, MARE, MSW
February 14, 2018: A recounting of events
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
February 14, 2018: One hour later Crisis Response What would you do? What did we do?
February 14, 2018: Two to four hours later Create your teen refuge center who and what do you need to do this?
February 14, 2018: Evening Gathering a Jewish community creating a meaningful prayer experience
February15, 2018: The Days Events Meetings with city officials, other religious institutions, law enforcement
What does the word safety mean? The condition of being protected from or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury.
Safety and Security: Lockdown Protocols, Emergency Codes, Guards and More Do you have a plan? Who was involved in crafting it? Have you re-evaluated it lately based on the events of late?
Big Questions to Answer! Does your building have a lockdown protocol if something happens nearby? What are the emergency codes you follow? How do you communicate with your staff in the event of an emergency? Where do you hide when in lockdown? Do you practice lockdown drills? Do you have active shooter training? Do you have a preschool on site? Where do parents go during an emergency? Who speaks to the press?
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
February15, 2018: Interfaith Vigil
Dear Mr. Solovy, I wanted to thank you for your prayer For the Children of Newtown that we found at reformjudaism.org.These comforting words have now been shared to thousands and more at my own congregation the night of the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, at a City of Parkland PrayerVigil, and this afternoon at a Broward County teachers labor union. I am only sorry that I have to write you to say that I needed to use this prayer and substitute Newtown for Parkland 6 years after you wrote this prayer. On looking at your website I saw you just posted on 2/14 about lov eand it was so beautiful and wanted to ask if you could perhaps write a prayer for our suffering here in Parkland, FL.We are a bit too close to what is happening to sit still and think, but I know we would be appreciative and would share your words for comfort Shavua tov, Rabbi Melissa Stollman Director of Lifelong Learning Congregation Kol Tikvah I finished this an hour later
Who are your people? Create a list now of the people you would call upon in case of an emergency such as this who do you need and what can they do?
One Month Following: Dealing with the Emotions Trauma and grief are two separate animals. Trauma is a loss of stabilization. It is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Grief is the mourning of a loss. Emotions shared: Shock and disbelief, fear, extreme sadness, sense of helplessness, sense of hopelessness and despair. IT IS IMPORTANTTO KNOWTHE DIFFERENCE AND PLAN FOR IT
One Month Following: Trauma turns to Action Trip toTallahassee March for our Lives: DC Parkland LA
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
You have a curriculum, faculty, and year-long planjust throw it out! What would you do to maintain normalcy for your younger students, change your teen programming (educational and experiential), and recognize your teachers are dealing with trauma too?
On Site Human Resources: Gather them now Create a list of all mental health professionals who are members of your congregationNOW! Any congregants work for local agencies that deal with crisis or trauma? Which congregants teach yoga, run mind/body groups, or instruct art, equine or dog therapy?
On Site Resources: Gather them now Whats on your bookshelf? Whats in your youth lounge for teens and younger students?
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits
What helped the most? Meal deliveries to the office Offers to create liturgical and educational resources Purchases off the Amazon wish list and donations to our fund (which we still use for direct support for teens for advocacy work and mental health resources) Hospitality when we traveled
What helped the least? Requests for me to do something for you Calling for the scoop Organizations asking to come and visit for themnot for me
What is your role? What tools or techniques, skills, or so forth do you have to remain the calm amidst the storm?
Self Care??? Whats that?!?!? Remember the basics: Eat and Sleep Talk to someone Exercise/yoga/long walks Talk to someone some more Let go of the stuff that doesnt matter
January 14, 2019: 11 months later A community in mourning, but a community that is healing The one year anniversary a plan in process
How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits

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How Do You Pivot When Crisis Hits

  • 1. HOW DO YOU PIVOT WHEN CRISIS HITS? Rabbi Melissa Zalkin Stollman, RJE, MARE, MSW
  • 4. February 14, 2018: One hour later Crisis Response What would you do? What did we do?
  • 5. February 14, 2018: Two to four hours later Create your teen refuge center who and what do you need to do this?
  • 6. February 14, 2018: Evening Gathering a Jewish community creating a meaningful prayer experience
  • 7. February15, 2018: The Days Events Meetings with city officials, other religious institutions, law enforcement
  • 8. What does the word safety mean? The condition of being protected from or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury.
  • 9. Safety and Security: Lockdown Protocols, Emergency Codes, Guards and More Do you have a plan? Who was involved in crafting it? Have you re-evaluated it lately based on the events of late?
  • 10. Big Questions to Answer! Does your building have a lockdown protocol if something happens nearby? What are the emergency codes you follow? How do you communicate with your staff in the event of an emergency? Where do you hide when in lockdown? Do you practice lockdown drills? Do you have active shooter training? Do you have a preschool on site? Where do parents go during an emergency? Who speaks to the press?
  • 13. Dear Mr. Solovy, I wanted to thank you for your prayer For the Children of Newtown that we found at reformjudaism.org.These comforting words have now been shared to thousands and more at my own congregation the night of the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, at a City of Parkland PrayerVigil, and this afternoon at a Broward County teachers labor union. I am only sorry that I have to write you to say that I needed to use this prayer and substitute Newtown for Parkland 6 years after you wrote this prayer. On looking at your website I saw you just posted on 2/14 about lov eand it was so beautiful and wanted to ask if you could perhaps write a prayer for our suffering here in Parkland, FL.We are a bit too close to what is happening to sit still and think, but I know we would be appreciative and would share your words for comfort Shavua tov, Rabbi Melissa Stollman Director of Lifelong Learning Congregation Kol Tikvah I finished this an hour later
  • 14. Who are your people? Create a list now of the people you would call upon in case of an emergency such as this who do you need and what can they do?
  • 15. One Month Following: Dealing with the Emotions Trauma and grief are two separate animals. Trauma is a loss of stabilization. It is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Grief is the mourning of a loss. Emotions shared: Shock and disbelief, fear, extreme sadness, sense of helplessness, sense of hopelessness and despair. IT IS IMPORTANTTO KNOWTHE DIFFERENCE AND PLAN FOR IT
  • 16. One Month Following: Trauma turns to Action Trip toTallahassee March for our Lives: DC Parkland LA
  • 22. You have a curriculum, faculty, and year-long planjust throw it out! What would you do to maintain normalcy for your younger students, change your teen programming (educational and experiential), and recognize your teachers are dealing with trauma too?
  • 23. On Site Human Resources: Gather them now Create a list of all mental health professionals who are members of your congregationNOW! Any congregants work for local agencies that deal with crisis or trauma? Which congregants teach yoga, run mind/body groups, or instruct art, equine or dog therapy?
  • 24. On Site Resources: Gather them now Whats on your bookshelf? Whats in your youth lounge for teens and younger students?
  • 26. What helped the most? Meal deliveries to the office Offers to create liturgical and educational resources Purchases off the Amazon wish list and donations to our fund (which we still use for direct support for teens for advocacy work and mental health resources) Hospitality when we traveled
  • 27. What helped the least? Requests for me to do something for you Calling for the scoop Organizations asking to come and visit for themnot for me
  • 28. What is your role? What tools or techniques, skills, or so forth do you have to remain the calm amidst the storm?
  • 29. Self Care??? Whats that?!?!? Remember the basics: Eat and Sleep Talk to someone Exercise/yoga/long walks Talk to someone some more Let go of the stuff that doesnt matter
  • 30. January 14, 2019: 11 months later A community in mourning, but a community that is healing The one year anniversary a plan in process

Editor's Notes

  • #2: Every trauma is different a shooting, hurricane, fires, a suicide. But why is this one so hard? All the kids feed into this school
  • #3: Describe the tragedy the demographics of the town- 30000 people, average age is 42, ,median household income is 13000 Congregation Kol Tikvah about 325 families, 325 kids in K-12; 140 in ECC the days events Abandoned cars by the road This is hard to recount I will cry I am dealing with secondary trauma I have no right answers, we flew by the seat of our pants. I am just lucky I have a clinical social work degree.
  • #4: Photos of msd strong stuff on school fences, in front of neighborhoods, banners and signs
  • #5: Text and called all the kids and parents
  • #6: Therapists on site Pizza ordered Fbi showed up to question kids
  • #9: This word is no longer part of my vernacular
  • #11: Set up a text messaging system now Set up your color systems now Practice
  • #13: Where to find liturgy alden solowy
  • #14: For Parkland, Florida Oh grief, This grief suddenly forced upon us With violence and weapon, That your names have become prayers, To keep us safe from violence, That your sweet lives, Once held with joy and light, Are now among the accusers of those who fail To protect us from the plague of guns. Scott, Aaron, Chris, Martin Luke, Cara, Jamie, Nicholas Gina, Alex, Joaquin Alaina, Peter, Meadow Helena, Alysa, Carmen Oh grief, This grief suddenly forced upon us With malice and anger, That Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Parkland, Florida, Would join the list of schools attacked, Traumatized with horror, Knowing that this hasnt ended yet, Let justice prevail. Author of life, Source and Creator, Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace To the victims of this massacre in Parkland, Florida. May their souls be bound up in the bond of life, A living blessing in our midst. May they rest in peace. G-d of mercy, Remember, too, the survivors of this attack, Ease their suffering and release their trauma. Grant them endurance to survive, Strength to rebuild, Faith to mourn, And courage to heal, So that they recover lives of joy and wonder. Remember the families and friends Of the dead and the bereaved With consolation and solace. Grant them Your protection, Your wholeness and healing. May they find hope and grace. G-d of Consolation, Every soul is Yours, A world, unique and holy. Let Your peace reign quickly among us. Let violence, hatred and terror vanish. Let Your comfort descend from heaven, And let the righteous rest in peace.
  • #15: The amount of people who reached out was beautiful and crushing. I needed to keep my phone open and it was actually really tough. I needed people who could tell me what to do and how to do itquickly. Edie Menscher Rabbi Joui Hessel Melissa Frey Leora Kaye The RAC
  • #17: How do you juggle your work, your life, and wanting to make a difference in the bigger community too?
  • #22: Photo of Hayley licata
  • #25: We made an amazon wish list say what was on it; Emergency kit supplies, walkie talkies
  • #28: I was sooooo angry after angry I didnt feel prepared and I didnt have the tools I thought I needed. Angry that we dont talk about this in professional or academic settingsand I lashed out. Now I am part of a ccar task force on issues such as these, helping to write resources for the arje.
  • #29: Develop some kind of plan!!! What was it? How did you decide upon it? Who was involved in this plan? Who did you reach out to first? Or who reached out to you first?
  • #31: Signs to look for: Not eating Not participating Increased drug use
  • #32: Photo of before and after msd