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How to fake wine
knowledge
10. Body Language
A major component to any con is
being convincing.
Pick that wine list off the table or grab
that bottle off the shelf and start
looking it over confidently.
9. Lingo
 Aroma=the smell
 Acidity/Acidic=tartness. Think lemon, lime,
grapefruit, blueberries. and cranberries.
 Dry=Not sweet. Sometimes on bottles of
champagne and sparkling wine youll see
the word Brut; it means the same thing.
 Tannin(s)/Tannic=astringency. If youve
ever had a cup of tea that steeped too long,
then you know what tannins are.
 Vintage=the year that grapes were
harvested. As in 2005 was a great vintage.
 Balance=the overall unity of the flavors.
8. Opt to Decant
If youre part of a large group and wine
is flowing freely, skip this step.
But in almost every other scenario,
decanting is rarely a bad idea. Most
wines improve as they are exposed to
air, which is why you do all of that
swirling and slurping.
Decanting, the act of transferring the
wine from its original bottle into
another vessel before serving, helps
expedite this process.
Its less common to decant white wine.
7. Interact with your glass
When you first receive a glass, hold it by the
stem, tilt it away from you, and observe the
color of the wine.
Gently swirl the wine in the glass by making
small circles with you wrist; be careful not to
overdo this motion and end up spilling wine.
If anyone asks why you're doing this, tell them
its to help the wine open up.
Take a small sip of the wine, and while holding it
in your mouth, gently suck in a bit of air. This
action will make a slight slurping soundthis
is done to pass more air through the wine
helping it to release more of its flavors.
You dont have to do this with every sip, but you
should do it with the first.
6. Know random facts
Bring a bottle of Cr辿mant de Bourgogne
Blanc de Blanc to a party and explain
that while its made the same way as
Champagne and uses one of the grapes
found in Champagne, because its from
a different region its classified
Cr辿mant.
You need to have a few of these up your
sleeves, lest you come off as a one
trick pony.
5. Judge a Book By Its Cover
(To a Degree)
If you happen to be in a situation where you can
see the bottle youre drinking from (or about to
drink from); you can make some snap
judgments on the label alone.
For example, if the bottle that youre about to
drink has a black and white label with a
drawing of a grape cluster and cursive writing,
you could comment on how the wine is fruity
yet traditional.
On the other hand, if the label is colorful with an
animal image on it, the wine might be fun or
easy to drink.
Or, if theres calligraphic writing and a coat of
arms on the label, you could assume (and
announce) that's it's serious and traditional.
4. If You Cant Pronounce It,
Dont Order It
This is a surefire way to show that you
dont know what youre ordering.
Amongst the many reasons why
Merlot, Malbec, and Chardonnay are
more popular than Falanghina or
Blaufr辰nkish is the ease of
pronouncing the names.
3. Steal
By persuading another (especially
someone who is particularly versed
with wine) to start a dialogue, you can
take their commentary and improve on
it.
By agreeing with someones opinion and
expanding on it, now officially making
it your opinion, that very person is
more inclined to agree with you and
endorse your wine expertise.
2. Consider the Situation at
Hand
Are you surrounded by a group of
wine savvy people, or is it just one
or two? Better yet, are you around
people that dont know much about
wine?
The more knowledgeable your
company is, the more you want them
to talk, giving you the opportunity to
reshape their commentary.
1. Keep Something in the
Tank
Dont use every wine term you
learned, name every grape you can
think of, and voice your three bits of
esoteric information in the first five
minutes.
This will make you appear like youre
scrambling to look knowledgeable.
Instead, give a little and take a little,
but keep something in reserve.

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How to fake wine knowledge

  • 1. How to fake wine knowledge
  • 2. 10. Body Language A major component to any con is being convincing. Pick that wine list off the table or grab that bottle off the shelf and start looking it over confidently.
  • 3. 9. Lingo Aroma=the smell Acidity/Acidic=tartness. Think lemon, lime, grapefruit, blueberries. and cranberries. Dry=Not sweet. Sometimes on bottles of champagne and sparkling wine youll see the word Brut; it means the same thing. Tannin(s)/Tannic=astringency. If youve ever had a cup of tea that steeped too long, then you know what tannins are. Vintage=the year that grapes were harvested. As in 2005 was a great vintage. Balance=the overall unity of the flavors.
  • 4. 8. Opt to Decant If youre part of a large group and wine is flowing freely, skip this step. But in almost every other scenario, decanting is rarely a bad idea. Most wines improve as they are exposed to air, which is why you do all of that swirling and slurping. Decanting, the act of transferring the wine from its original bottle into another vessel before serving, helps expedite this process. Its less common to decant white wine.
  • 5. 7. Interact with your glass When you first receive a glass, hold it by the stem, tilt it away from you, and observe the color of the wine. Gently swirl the wine in the glass by making small circles with you wrist; be careful not to overdo this motion and end up spilling wine. If anyone asks why you're doing this, tell them its to help the wine open up. Take a small sip of the wine, and while holding it in your mouth, gently suck in a bit of air. This action will make a slight slurping soundthis is done to pass more air through the wine helping it to release more of its flavors. You dont have to do this with every sip, but you should do it with the first.
  • 6. 6. Know random facts Bring a bottle of Cr辿mant de Bourgogne Blanc de Blanc to a party and explain that while its made the same way as Champagne and uses one of the grapes found in Champagne, because its from a different region its classified Cr辿mant. You need to have a few of these up your sleeves, lest you come off as a one trick pony.
  • 7. 5. Judge a Book By Its Cover (To a Degree) If you happen to be in a situation where you can see the bottle youre drinking from (or about to drink from); you can make some snap judgments on the label alone. For example, if the bottle that youre about to drink has a black and white label with a drawing of a grape cluster and cursive writing, you could comment on how the wine is fruity yet traditional. On the other hand, if the label is colorful with an animal image on it, the wine might be fun or easy to drink. Or, if theres calligraphic writing and a coat of arms on the label, you could assume (and announce) that's it's serious and traditional.
  • 8. 4. If You Cant Pronounce It, Dont Order It This is a surefire way to show that you dont know what youre ordering. Amongst the many reasons why Merlot, Malbec, and Chardonnay are more popular than Falanghina or Blaufr辰nkish is the ease of pronouncing the names.
  • 9. 3. Steal By persuading another (especially someone who is particularly versed with wine) to start a dialogue, you can take their commentary and improve on it. By agreeing with someones opinion and expanding on it, now officially making it your opinion, that very person is more inclined to agree with you and endorse your wine expertise.
  • 10. 2. Consider the Situation at Hand Are you surrounded by a group of wine savvy people, or is it just one or two? Better yet, are you around people that dont know much about wine? The more knowledgeable your company is, the more you want them to talk, giving you the opportunity to reshape their commentary.
  • 11. 1. Keep Something in the Tank Dont use every wine term you learned, name every grape you can think of, and voice your three bits of esoteric information in the first five minutes. This will make you appear like youre scrambling to look knowledgeable. Instead, give a little and take a little, but keep something in reserve.