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Paul George
Paul George

Banta wants to celebrate his wife's birthday by ordering a cake with the message "you are not getting older you are getting better". However, when the baker asks how to arrange the words on the cake, Banta instructs them to put "You are not getting older" at the top and "you are getting better" at the bottom, resulting in a mixed-up message when the cake is cut. The party guests get a laugh when they see how the words were arranged.

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Banta wants to celebrate his wifes birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: Lets put, you are not getting older you are getting better. The salesman asks, How do you want me to put it? Sardar says, Well put You are not getting older, at the top and You are getting better at the bottom. The real fun didnt start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake: You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom. Only small babies A tourist from United States comes to visit India and he sees a sardar. He asked a question to him:
Tourist: Any great men born in this village? Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!! Whys Santas phone OFF bhai?? Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said Switched Off! Banta : Nahi Pape, its my HELLO TUNE! Dead Men Dont Bleed Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men dont bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men dont bleed. Do you now agree that dead men dont bleed? the doctor asked. Yes, I do, Banta replied. Very well, then, the doctor said. He took out a pin and pricked the patients finger. Out came a trickle of blood. The doctor asked, What does that tell you? Oh my goodness! Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger Dead men do bleed!! Office Memo Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore
you do not need a raise. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. Lunch Breaks: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because thats all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Restroom Use: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic Offender category. Surgery: As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week. Actually a microwave oven Subscribe for free and receive daily "Mast Egg Entertainment" dose in your email: Email: 0diggsdigg 0 Email Share Sharebar 0diggsdigg 0Email Share Santa Singh goes into an electrical goods store, you know one of these stores that sells fridges, TVs etc. Santa walks up to the salesman, points and says, I want to buy this TV. The salesman say, Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds.
So Santa goes away and comes back two hours later after having a haircut, points and says, I want to buy this TV. The salesman once again replies, Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds. Santa goes away again and comes back two hours later with his beard and moustache also shaved, points and says, I want to buy this TV. The salesman once again replies, Sorry, we do not sell anything to Surds, Why are you wasting your and my time? Dont come back in the shop again! Santa says sheepishly, OK, you do not sell to Surds. But tell me how did you figure out that I was a surd even after I had shaved my hair, mustache and beard. The salesman replied, Because that TV you want to buy is actually a microwave oven. Befooled Once Banta went to Bombay. While passing through a road he saw a very high building. He was amazed to see it, and decided to count its stories. As he was doing so a townsman saw him and tried to befool him. So he approached Banta and asked, What are you doing?
When he told the answer, the townsman said that one had to pay two rupees for every storey counted. How many have you counted? Banta said ten and gave the man twenty rupees. Walking away Banta was very happy to think how he has befooled the other man for he had counted twenty. I want toilet paper Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworthss (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. Continue Reading 損 Submitted by: Pradeep Whys Santas phone OFF bhai??
Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said Switched Off! Banta : Nahi Pape, its my HELLO TUNE! I am going Santa: I am going ka matlab batao. Banta: Main ja raha hoon. Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata. Submitted by: MAYANK
No C!! Santa meets his friend Banta Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B! Banta : Oye, Iska Matlab ? Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..! 98 Years Old Santa Old man Santa limped into the doctors office and said, Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, Mr. Santa, just how old are you? 98! Santa announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again Continue Reading 損 Name plate outside your house Banta Singh : Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree? Santa Singh : You dont understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again.
See the balancing Ek baar ek kavi sammelan chal raha tha. Bhaut se kavi bore kar rahe they. Ek sardar se jab nahi raha gaya toh woh khud stage par aaya aur bola ab suniye. Ek kutta Loge bole wah wah Sardar phir bola Ek kutta, kutte ke uper kutta Log phir bole wah wah wah Sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kuttey, Unkey oper 3 kutte, Ab log silent ho gaye thodi der baad ek aur sardar bole wah wah Manch wala sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kute, unke oper 3 kutte, unkey oper 4 kutte Audience sardar pareshan hokar bola, bhai ye kaun sa sher hua? Manch wala sarda bola, abe tu sher mat sun tu balancing ko dekh.
Submitted by: dilip kumar srivastava How to decide??? Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours? Santa Singh replies, I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours. Continue Reading 損 Bantas Date Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, Send her some flowers and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal.
Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, It was a flop idea. Santa, Didnt the girl come to your house? Banta, She did, but she refused to cook! Side A Side B Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger coming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down.
Santa told Banta, Yaar just to pass Time Why dont you sing some song Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs. Continue Reading 損 I am going Santa: I am going ka matlab batao. Banta: Main ja raha hoon. Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata. Submitted by: MAYANK Birthday cake
Banta wants to celebrate his wifes birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: Lets put, you are not getting older you are getting better. The salesman asks, How do you want me to put it? Continue Reading 損 Submitted by: Black Rose Santa and Banta in Mumbai Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Mumbai. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. Continue Reading 損 Cool answers in an interview Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa Singh has a very good job. Banta Singh is jobless and one day asks Santa to help him get some good Job. Santa singh says, OK, next time we will apply together. and they do. On interview day, Santa singh says, First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job. So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER: When did we get independence? SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM? SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: OK. Whats Indias population?
SANTA: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir. Continue Reading 損 Cool answers in an interview Subscribe for free and receive daily "Mast Egg Entertainment" dose in your email: Email: 0diggsdigg 0 Email Share Sharebar 0diggsdigg 0Email Share Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa Singh has a very good job. Banta Singh is jobless and one day asks Santa to help him get some good Job. Santa singh says, OK, next time we will apply together. and they do. On interview day, Santa singh says, First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job.
So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER: When did we get independence? SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM? SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: OK. Whats Indias population? SANTA: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir. Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to Banta Singh. Banta Singh (True SARDAR that he is) remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in now. EMPLOYER: When were you born? BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: What? Who is your father? BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER (Now quite upset): Are you mad Mr. Banta? BANTA: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir. Submitted by: Pradeep 0diggsdigg
0 Email Share Sharebar 0diggsdigg 0Email Share Sign on a railway station at Patna: Aana free, jaana free, Pakde gaye to khana free. Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay: Dont whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother! Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative More the success, more the relatives.
Sign at a barbers saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business. A traffic slogan: Dont let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they never will be. THE BEST ONE: Its Gods responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god. - Indian Armed Forces 1. What is height of Fashion? - Dhoti with a zip . **** 2. What is height of Secrecy? - Offering blank visiting cards. ****
3. What is height of Active laziness? - Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk. **** 4. What is height of Craziness? - Getting a blank paper Xeroxed. **** 5. What is height of Forgetfulness? - Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last. **** 6. What is height of Stupidity? -A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door. **** 7. What is height of Honesty? - A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket. **** 8. What is height of Suicide? - A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road. **** 9. What is height of De-hydration? - A cow giving milk powder. ****

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Jokes

  • 1. Banta wants to celebrate his wifes birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: Lets put, you are not getting older you are getting better. The salesman asks, How do you want me to put it? Sardar says, Well put You are not getting older, at the top and You are getting better at the bottom. The real fun didnt start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake: You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom. Only small babies A tourist from United States comes to visit India and he sees a sardar. He asked a question to him:
  • 2. Tourist: Any great men born in this village? Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!! Whys Santas phone OFF bhai?? Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said Switched Off! Banta : Nahi Pape, its my HELLO TUNE! Dead Men Dont Bleed Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
  • 3. The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men dont bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men dont bleed. Do you now agree that dead men dont bleed? the doctor asked. Yes, I do, Banta replied. Very well, then, the doctor said. He took out a pin and pricked the patients finger. Out came a trickle of blood. The doctor asked, What does that tell you? Oh my goodness! Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger Dead men do bleed!! Office Memo Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore
  • 4. you do not need a raise. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. Lunch Breaks: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because thats all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Restroom Use: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic Offender category. Surgery: As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
  • 5. Have a nice week. Actually a microwave oven Subscribe for free and receive daily "Mast Egg Entertainment" dose in your email: Email: 0diggsdigg 0 Email Share Sharebar 0diggsdigg 0Email Share Santa Singh goes into an electrical goods store, you know one of these stores that sells fridges, TVs etc. Santa walks up to the salesman, points and says, I want to buy this TV. The salesman say, Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds.
  • 6. So Santa goes away and comes back two hours later after having a haircut, points and says, I want to buy this TV. The salesman once again replies, Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds. Santa goes away again and comes back two hours later with his beard and moustache also shaved, points and says, I want to buy this TV. The salesman once again replies, Sorry, we do not sell anything to Surds, Why are you wasting your and my time? Dont come back in the shop again! Santa says sheepishly, OK, you do not sell to Surds. But tell me how did you figure out that I was a surd even after I had shaved my hair, mustache and beard. The salesman replied, Because that TV you want to buy is actually a microwave oven. Befooled Once Banta went to Bombay. While passing through a road he saw a very high building. He was amazed to see it, and decided to count its stories. As he was doing so a townsman saw him and tried to befool him. So he approached Banta and asked, What are you doing?
  • 7. When he told the answer, the townsman said that one had to pay two rupees for every storey counted. How many have you counted? Banta said ten and gave the man twenty rupees. Walking away Banta was very happy to think how he has befooled the other man for he had counted twenty. I want toilet paper Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworthss (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. Continue Reading 損 Submitted by: Pradeep Whys Santas phone OFF bhai??
  • 8. Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said Switched Off! Banta : Nahi Pape, its my HELLO TUNE! I am going Santa: I am going ka matlab batao. Banta: Main ja raha hoon. Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata. Submitted by: MAYANK
  • 9. No C!! Santa meets his friend Banta Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B! Banta : Oye, Iska Matlab ? Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..! 98 Years Old Santa Old man Santa limped into the doctors office and said, Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!
  • 10. The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, Mr. Santa, just how old are you? 98! Santa announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again Continue Reading 損 Name plate outside your house Banta Singh : Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree? Santa Singh : You dont understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again.
  • 11. See the balancing Ek baar ek kavi sammelan chal raha tha. Bhaut se kavi bore kar rahe they. Ek sardar se jab nahi raha gaya toh woh khud stage par aaya aur bola ab suniye. Ek kutta Loge bole wah wah Sardar phir bola Ek kutta, kutte ke uper kutta Log phir bole wah wah wah Sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kuttey, Unkey oper 3 kutte, Ab log silent ho gaye thodi der baad ek aur sardar bole wah wah Manch wala sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kute, unke oper 3 kutte, unkey oper 4 kutte Audience sardar pareshan hokar bola, bhai ye kaun sa sher hua? Manch wala sarda bola, abe tu sher mat sun tu balancing ko dekh.
  • 12. Submitted by: dilip kumar srivastava How to decide??? Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours? Santa Singh replies, I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours. Continue Reading 損 Bantas Date Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, Send her some flowers and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal.
  • 13. Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, It was a flop idea. Santa, Didnt the girl come to your house? Banta, She did, but she refused to cook! Side A Side B Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger coming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down.
  • 14. Santa told Banta, Yaar just to pass Time Why dont you sing some song Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs. Continue Reading 損 I am going Santa: I am going ka matlab batao. Banta: Main ja raha hoon. Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata. Submitted by: MAYANK Birthday cake
  • 15. Banta wants to celebrate his wifes birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: Lets put, you are not getting older you are getting better. The salesman asks, How do you want me to put it? Continue Reading 損 Submitted by: Black Rose Santa and Banta in Mumbai Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Mumbai. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
  • 16. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. Continue Reading 損 Cool answers in an interview Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa Singh has a very good job. Banta Singh is jobless and one day asks Santa to help him get some good Job. Santa singh says, OK, next time we will apply together. and they do. On interview day, Santa singh says, First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job. So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER: When did we get independence? SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM? SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: OK. Whats Indias population?
  • 17. SANTA: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir. Continue Reading 損 Cool answers in an interview Subscribe for free and receive daily "Mast Egg Entertainment" dose in your email: Email: 0diggsdigg 0 Email Share Sharebar 0diggsdigg 0Email Share Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa Singh has a very good job. Banta Singh is jobless and one day asks Santa to help him get some good Job. Santa singh says, OK, next time we will apply together. and they do. On interview day, Santa singh says, First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job.
  • 18. So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER: When did we get independence? SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM? SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: OK. Whats Indias population? SANTA: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir. Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to Banta Singh. Banta Singh (True SARDAR that he is) remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in now. EMPLOYER: When were you born? BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: What? Who is your father? BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER (Now quite upset): Are you mad Mr. Banta? BANTA: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir. Submitted by: Pradeep 0diggsdigg
  • 19. 0 Email Share Sharebar 0diggsdigg 0Email Share Sign on a railway station at Patna: Aana free, jaana free, Pakde gaye to khana free. Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay: Dont whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother! Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative More the success, more the relatives.
  • 20. Sign at a barbers saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business. A traffic slogan: Dont let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they never will be. THE BEST ONE: Its Gods responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god. - Indian Armed Forces 1. What is height of Fashion? - Dhoti with a zip . **** 2. What is height of Secrecy? - Offering blank visiting cards. ****
  • 21. 3. What is height of Active laziness? - Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk. **** 4. What is height of Craziness? - Getting a blank paper Xeroxed. **** 5. What is height of Forgetfulness? - Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last. **** 6. What is height of Stupidity? -A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door. **** 7. What is height of Honesty? - A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket. **** 8. What is height of Suicide? - A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road. **** 9. What is height of De-hydration? - A cow giving milk powder. ****