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Editor's Notes

• #2: Sometimes, one good animation and/or curse word can get your audience’s attention. You just can’t over-use them. It should be noted that I give conference presentations quite often. I am trying to write a slide deck that I would use. I would use this title (but people know what they’re getting with me, and I’ve been chosen to keynote at my language’s national conference, so I can’t be all bad).
• #3: Your computer has been hacked. Or something is horribly wrong. You don’t know what to do. That’s why this slidedeck (with presenter) is here.
• #4: No one wants a virus.
• #5: A virus uses a payload to perform a malicious action. This can include a computer crash…
• #6: Files erased from a hard drive…
• #7: Having one’s security settings turned off
• #8: Or having one’s hard disk reformatted.
• #9: And because it’s a virus, it then spreads itself to another file in the same computer.
• #10: A well-known virus is EternalBlue. Created by the NSA Attacks Microsoft systems and makes it possible to install even more malicious software. Led to worm and trojan cousins. There’s a fix—but not so much for its cousins.
• #11: And that’s the thing about what you can do to protect yourself from these things. Set up auto-update. The NSA warned folks (Microsoft) this virus had been stolen. Microsoft released a security patch. If folks had used that patch, many bad things that used eternalblue to wreak havoc wouldn’t have been able to do so. UPDATE YOUR OPERATING SYSTEMS AUTO-UPDATE YOUR OPERATING SYSTEMS
• #12: 2. Worms – Viruses that use a computer network to replicate.
• #13: Like any computer virus, it can delete files on the computer… (NOTE: Using a repeated slide image emphasizes the similarity and repetition)
• #14: Worse, it can allow a hacker to remotely control a computer and/or network.
• #15: The Anna Kournikova email worm was sent to folks with a link purportedly to a pic of Kournikova. I. cannot. imagine. why. anyone. clicked. this. (Said with implied sarcastic idiotic tone) Instead of a pic, the worm emailed everyone in the computer user’s Outlook contacts i.e. spreading across networks; it wasn’t so horrible; but it caused a lot of traffic on email servers
• #16: In addition to updating one’s software And using caution when clicking links (NEVER TRUST ANNA KOURNIKOVA) A good spam filter on one’s email can help keep temptresses like fake Anna Kournikovas from tempting anyone to click on a fake link.
• #17: 3. Trojans. A trojan masquerades as a normal program, but secretly, it’s doing something malicious.
• #18: A Distributed Denial of Service attack is when a server is overloaded with activity from a ton of different IP addresses, making it difficult to block and to determine valid server visits from invalid ones. To carry malicious DDoS attacks out, a Trojan is often distributed among innocuous programs that can then be utilized at specific times to employ a DDoS attack. In 2016, a DDoS attack targeted web sites hosted by Dyn, which meant a tens of websites went down at specific times on October 21, 2016.
• #19: For companies, good firewalls, servers, routers, and switches are key to blocking DDoS attacks, it’s in their best interest to educate consumers about Trojans that can allow such things to happen Consumers should continue keeping their software up to date Make sure new applications/extensions are scanned before installation And periodically, with updated software, they should scan their software and registries for potential trojan applications
• #20: 4. Spyware secretly spies on on users by collecting info and reporting it to people/places the user doesn’t expect/authorize.
• #21: Last year, a fake Netflix app was created that used SpyNote RAT, spyware software. After clicking on the app, installed from a third-party site, the app would seem to disappear, and users would just download Netflix again (hopefully from a more reliable source). But it really left spyware in place, enabling it to get credit card info and other private data from users.
• #22: Hopefully, one is already doing some key things we’ve discussed:- Keeping OS and software up to date- using a spam filter- scanning email and downloads for viruses- periodically running system scans But sometimes, one has to delete a specific instance of spyware. In this case, a program like SpyBot can be helpful—and it’s free. This can allow one to run a scan—but if that doesn’t help, there are still more things, like Malwarebytes, that can help delete spyware. In the end, google can be helpful if used with caution. Once a type of malware is detected, searching google with particular file or website names—or temporary file names that seem suspicious—can lead to answers. Sometimes, changes to the computer registry are required. Sometimes, one might want to employ a professional. But with care and patience, most sypware can eventually be eradicated. There is another method that can be of great help that I’ll cover in the next section:
• #23: 5. RANSOMWARE – Locks up your computer until something is given to the people who have your data. Usually money, gift cards, or bitcoin.
• #24: Recall the title of this talk: You’re fucked—unless you hand over some bitcoin. Or some other form of currency.
• #25: Not long ago, the Cockrell Hill Police Department in Dallas, Texas had one of its servers taken over by ransomware. They lost some data and did not pay the fines, but their loss was limited, because they followed a key preventative measure.
• #26: BACKUP YOUR DATA The police department had most of its data backed up, and so they didn’t need to pay the ransom. They were able to wipe their servers clean, knowing they could restore the data with their own backup systems.
• #27: (NOTE: In a real presentation, I wouldn’t use watermarked images--but at least they are attributed this way) FOR REVIEW: Key ways to keep malware from getting the best of you:1. Keep operating systems and software updated. 2. Use scanning for email, applications, and when opening files (or at least receiving them). 3. Use good spam protection and distrust links in emails, even from seemingly known senders. 4. Use known providers of software.5. Regularly scan systems for malware. 6. BACK UP YOUR SYSTEM REGULARLY. Back up your backups. I use Dropbox for important things, but I also fully backup my system to a hard drive. Other folks use the crowd. Use more than one option. We will all get SOME sort of malware—there’s even unintentional malware—so we are fucked (or at least doomed), as the title of this talk suggests, but we don’t have to be FUBAR, as it were.