An Introduction to PHP... and Why It's Yucky!

Nov 12, 20140 likes307 views

This document discusses an introduction to PHP and then lists 7 problems with the PHP language. It outlines some of PHP's benefits like being the most popular server-side language and being easy to deploy. However, it notes issues with templating, inconsistencies, everything being treated as a function, unequal equality comparisons, weird scoping, terrible debugging, and poor documentation. In the end, it concludes that these issues don't matter too much.

<?php
?>
echo `An introduction to PHP`;
echo `7 reasons why it��s yucky`;

<?php
?>
echo `First, the good parts`;
var_dump([
`Web��s most popular server lang`,
`Incredibly easy to deploy`,
`WordPress, uber popular framework`,
`Templating is built-in`
]);

<?php
?>
echo `Problem #1`;
echo `Templating is built-in`;
foreach($arr as $el) {
echo `<p>`;
echo doSomeMysteriousThing($el);
echo `</p>`;
}

<?php
?>
echo `Problem #2`;
echo `It can be very inconsistent`;
echo 'hello nworld';
// hello nworld
echo "hello nworld";
// hello
// world

<?php
?>
echo `Problem #3`;
echo `Everything is a function!!!`;
array_push($arr, `abc`); // 5.3
array_key_exists($arr, `abc`); // bool
$r = array_merge($arr, [`abc`]);
$r = array_map(`func`, $arr);
$r = count($arr);

<?php
?>
echo `Problem #4`;
echo `Equality is unequal`;
`6` == ` 6` // true
`133` == `0133` && 133 != 0133; // true
`foo` == 0 && `foo` == true; // true
NULL < -1 && NULL == 0; // true

<?php
?>
echo `Problem #5`;
echo `Scope is weird...`;
if (1 === 1) { $v = `if`; }
function a() { $v = `a`; }
function b() { global $v; $v = `b`; }
a(); echo $v; // `if`
b(); echo $v; // `b`

$<?php ?> echo `Problem #6`; echo `Debugging is terrible!`; echo $arr; // `Array` print_r($arr); // Array ( [0] => 1 [1] var_dump($arr); // array(4) { [0]=> int( var_dump(debug_backtrace());$

<?php
?>
echo `Problem #7`;
echo `Documentation is terrible`;
echo ($documentation == $forum);
// 1

<?php
?>
echo `In the end...`;
echo `...it doesn��t matter that much`;
$u = `http://blog.codinghorror.com/`;
$u .= `php-sucks-but-it-doesnt-matter`;
echo $u;

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An Introduction to PHP... and Why It's Yucky!

1. <?php ?> echo `An introduction to PHP`;

2. <?php ?> echo `An introduction to PHP`; echo `7 reasons why it��s yucky`;

3. <?php ?> echo `First, the good parts`; var_dump([ `Web��s most popular server lang`, `Incredibly easy to deploy`, `WordPress, uber popular framework`, `Templating is built-in` ]);

4. <?php ?> echo `Problem #1`; echo `Templating is built-in`; foreach($arr as $el) { echo `<p>`; echo doSomeMysteriousThing($el); echo `</p>`; }

5. <?php ?> echo `Problem #2`; echo `It can be very inconsistent`; echo 'hello nworld'; // hello nworld echo "hello nworld"; // hello // world

6. <?php ?> echo `Problem #3`; echo Èverything is a function!!!`; array_push($arr, àbc`); // 5.3 array_key_exists($arr, àbc`); // bool $r = array_merge($arr, [àbc`]); $r = array_map(`func`, $arr); $r = count($arr);

7. <?php ?> echo `Problem #4`; echo `Equality is unequal`; `6` == ` 6` // true `133` == `0133` && 133 != 0133; // true `foo` == 0 && `foo` == true; // true NULL < -1 && NULL == 0; // true

8. <?php ?> echo `Problem #5`; echo `Scope is weird...`; if (1 === 1) { $v = ìf`; } function a() { $v = à`; } function b() { global $v; $v = `b`; } a(); echo $v; // ìf` b(); echo $v; // `b`

9. <?php ?> echo `Problem #6`; echo `Debugging is terrible!`; echo $arr; // `Array` print_r($arr); // Array ( [0] => 1 [1] var_dump($arr); // array(4) { [0]=> int( var_dump(debug_backtrace());

10. <?php ?> echo `Problem #7`; echo `Documentation is terrible`; echo ($documentation == $forum); // 1

11. <?php ?> echo `In the end...`;

12. <?php ?> echo `In the end...`; echo `...it doesn��t matter that much`; $u = `http://blog.codinghorror.com/`; $u .= `php-sucks-but-it-doesnt-matter`; echo $u;

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An Introduction to PHP... and Why It's Yucky!

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