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Restitution Zen

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The document provides information on restitution and positive discipline techniques. It discusses 1) defining restitution as fixing mistakes and returning to the group in a strengthened way, 2) teaching kids to look inside themselves, 3) different positions of control teachers can take with students from punisher to respecting self, 4) how addressing students' basic needs for love, belonging, empowerment, freedom and fun can improve behavior and learning outcomes, and 5) restitution tools like social contracts, the restitution triangle, and using questions to help students find solutions and take responsibility.

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Restitution
Resources 際際滷share: http://www.slideshare.net/ Restitution Zen www.realrestitution.com
De鍖nition of Restitution 2 Create the conditions for the person to Fix their mistakes Return to the group STRENGTHENED
Teaching Kids to Look Inside 3
Restitution Mantra 4
Control Theory 5
Why People Behave 6 Avoid Pain Punisher Teacher does Yell & Points If you dont Teacher says Ill Rebels & Legacy Blames Students says I dont care Students Repeated outcome offense
Positions of Control 7 Avoid Pain Punisher Guilter Teacher Yell & Preaches & does Points Shoulds Teacher If you dont You know says Ill better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Blames LIE Students I dont care Im sorry says Students Repeated Low self- outcome offense esteem
Positions of Control 8 Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse for them does Points & Shoulds Teacher If you You know Do it for me says dont Ill better Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Blames Deny Lie Students I dont I thought you Im sorry were my friend says care Students Repeat Low self- Weakness outcome offense esteem
Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse Counts & & Shoulds for them measures does Points Teacher If you You know Do it for Whats says dont Ill better me the rule Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Conformity Blames Deny Lie I thought you Students I dont How high/ Im sorry were my how far says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Consequence Weakness outcome offense esteem orientated
Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Respecting Self Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager Teacher Yell & Preaches & Make excuse Counts & Asks Shoulds for them measures questions does Points Teacher If you Do it for Whats the What do you You know rule? believe? says dont Ill me better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Conformity Strengthens Lie Blames I thought you Students I dont Counts & What can I do Im sorry were my measures to 鍖x it? says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Conseequence Self Weakness oriented Restitution outcome offense esteem
Time to Re鍖ect 11
The ANSWERS MONITOR MANAGER Provide minimal choices Provides many choices Outcome known from start Outcome unknown at start Teacher-directed Child-driven States what will happen Asks questions External motivation Internal motivation Teacher-evaluation Self-motivation Teaches external control Teaches self-control Does not help meet childs 4 basic Helps child meet all four basic needs needs
Basic Needs 12 Food Shelter Health Sleep Fresh Air Security
Love & Belonging 13 Caring Sharing Joining Accepting Friendship Cooperating Unconditional or Conditional
Power and Love 14 Conditional Love Unconditional Love
Empowerment 15 Achiever Success Do you best Capable Leader Skilled deep or cheap
Freedom 16 Choices Adventure Experiment Independent Creative Liberty
FUN 17 Playful Humor Pleasure Enjoyment Laughter Excitment Enthusiasm Clean or Mean??
4 Corners of the room 18 Where do you stand? Which cup do you need to have most full? Or are you balance...middle of the room Can this place change?
Why the NEEDS? 19
Fortune 500 20 NOW 1970 TEAMWORK 1 10 Problem solving 2 12 Interpersonal skills 3 13 Oral communication 4 4 Listening 5 5 Personal Developmt. 6 6 Creative Thinking 7 7 Leadership 8 8 Goal Setting 9 9 Writing 10 1 Organizational Effectiveness 11 11 Computation 12 2 Reading 13 3
Thank you Trials, temptations, disappointments-- all these are helps instead of hinderances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the 鍖ber of character, but strengthen it...Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than before. James Buckham
Restitution Tool Kit Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules) Restitution Triangle Quality World 30 second interventions Does it really matter? Yes if... My Job/Your Job Could you have done worse? Asking Questions WEAVING
Social Contract/Beliefs Creating a social contract in your classroom. What rules did you have as a child?
Restitution Triangle What do we Not for no believe? W reason l ea efu re os ed Social rp i nte Se pu ne Contract rn Keep that is ek all behavior, ior the ym add to it. t he av Person you oti eh want to be. te va lb Could you be RESTITUTION da ted Al have done lie worse? li f Va Stabilize the identity We are doing the best we can Be a good Not interested Its ok to make Your not the friend to in fault mistakes only one yourself
Quality World Create your quality world. What would be in it?
30 Second Interventions Is what you are doing okay now? What can I do to help you so you can...? When will you be ready to start? Whats your job now? It looks like we have a problem. How can we solve it? Do you want to 鍖gure out a better way? How can I help?
More 30 Sec. Interventions How would you like to be treated during this activity? Can you do that? Can you change what you Is it okay to make mistakes? are doing now to be helpful? Can we 鍖x it? Are you being the kind of person you want to be ? Would you like to do better? It looks like you have a problem. How can I help?
Does it really matter? Goals: To identify areas in which we try to control other people. To select and prioritize the standards which re鍖ect our values. To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to set on others.
YES IF... This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from children to which they normally answer no or No, because The requests are usually simple ones such as May I sharpen my pencil? The answer my be No, because Im talking. However, a better answer would be one which redirects the child, such as Yes, when Im 鍖nished giving instructions.
YES IF...continued Say, YES... as often as possible. If you cant say YES, say YES IF... or YES WHEN... When you say NO, give the child a reason and dont change your mind.
My Job/Your Job My JOB is... Your JOB is... Teach you new things To learn Help you 鍖nd answers Be prepared to work Have fun Be on time Keep you safe Try your best Respect students Ask questions Evaluate students Make responsible choices Be prepared Solve problems Safe learning environment Self evaluate My JOB is NOT... To give you the answer Your JOB is not... To yell To do nothing To be your mom Provide entertainment To be your maid Put downs To make you learn To do my job To make other peoples decisions
Could you have done worse? SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE: 1. Ask: Could you have done worse? (exaggerate-eg. If aggressing, could you have been more aggressive?} 2. Ask: What was the value you were protecting by the behavior you didnt like in yourself? (value=need) 3. Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value- to not be the person you want to be? (NO!) 4. Give yourself credit, though it didnt work out the way you wanted it to, it was better than
First Questions? What need is not being met and how can we meet that need? Start with: What do you want? How do you want it to look? XXXX How can I make this kid do what I want? What happened?
Asking Questions These are great to teach kids how to ? What do you want? What are you doing? Saying? Is it working? Can you 鍖gure out a better way?
Weaving Monitor Manager Monitor Manager If you dont____, I will___ I would rather____ (Give you a consequence. Discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)

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Restitution Zen

  • 2. Resources 際際滷share: http://www.slideshare.net/ Restitution Zen www.realrestitution.com
  • 3. De鍖nition of Restitution 2 Create the conditions for the person to Fix their mistakes Return to the group STRENGTHENED
  • 4. Teaching Kids to Look Inside 3
  • 7. Why People Behave 6 Avoid Pain Punisher Teacher does Yell & Points If you dont Teacher says Ill Rebels & Legacy Blames Students says I dont care Students Repeated outcome offense
  • 8. Positions of Control 7 Avoid Pain Punisher Guilter Teacher Yell & Preaches & does Points Shoulds Teacher If you dont You know says Ill better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Blames LIE Students I dont care Im sorry says Students Repeated Low self- outcome offense esteem
  • 9. Positions of Control 8 Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse for them does Points & Shoulds Teacher If you You know Do it for me says dont Ill better Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Blames Deny Lie Students I dont I thought you Im sorry were my friend says care Students Repeat Low self- Weakness outcome offense esteem
  • 10. Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse Counts & & Shoulds for them measures does Points Teacher If you You know Do it for Whats says dont Ill better me the rule Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Conformity Blames Deny Lie I thought you Students I dont How high/ Im sorry were my how far says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Consequence Weakness outcome offense esteem orientated
  • 11. Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Respecting Self Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager Teacher Yell & Preaches & Make excuse Counts & Asks Shoulds for them measures questions does Points Teacher If you Do it for Whats the What do you You know rule? believe? says dont Ill me better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Conformity Strengthens Lie Blames I thought you Students I dont Counts & What can I do Im sorry were my measures to 鍖x it? says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Conseequence Self Weakness oriented Restitution outcome offense esteem
  • 13. The ANSWERS MONITOR MANAGER Provide minimal choices Provides many choices Outcome known from start Outcome unknown at start Teacher-directed Child-driven States what will happen Asks questions External motivation Internal motivation Teacher-evaluation Self-motivation Teaches external control Teaches self-control Does not help meet childs 4 basic Helps child meet all four basic needs needs
  • 14. Basic Needs 12 Food Shelter Health Sleep Fresh Air Security
  • 15. Love & Belonging 13 Caring Sharing Joining Accepting Friendship Cooperating Unconditional or Conditional
  • 16. Power and Love 14 Conditional Love Unconditional Love
  • 17. Empowerment 15 Achiever Success Do you best Capable Leader Skilled deep or cheap
  • 18. Freedom 16 Choices Adventure Experiment Independent Creative Liberty
  • 19. FUN 17 Playful Humor Pleasure Enjoyment Laughter Excitment Enthusiasm Clean or Mean??
  • 20. 4 Corners of the room 18 Where do you stand? Which cup do you need to have most full? Or are you balance...middle of the room Can this place change?
  • 22. Fortune 500 20 NOW 1970 TEAMWORK 1 10 Problem solving 2 12 Interpersonal skills 3 13 Oral communication 4 4 Listening 5 5 Personal Developmt. 6 6 Creative Thinking 7 7 Leadership 8 8 Goal Setting 9 9 Writing 10 1 Organizational Effectiveness 11 11 Computation 12 2 Reading 13 3
  • 23. Thank you Trials, temptations, disappointments-- all these are helps instead of hinderances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the 鍖ber of character, but strengthen it...Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than before. James Buckham
  • 24. Restitution Tool Kit Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules) Restitution Triangle Quality World 30 second interventions Does it really matter? Yes if... My Job/Your Job Could you have done worse? Asking Questions WEAVING
  • 25. Social Contract/Beliefs Creating a social contract in your classroom. What rules did you have as a child?
  • 26. Restitution Triangle What do we Not for no believe? W reason l ea efu re os ed Social rp i nte Se pu ne Contract rn Keep that is ek all behavior, ior the ym add to it. t he av Person you oti eh want to be. te va lb Could you be RESTITUTION da ted Al have done lie worse? li f Va Stabilize the identity We are doing the best we can Be a good Not interested Its ok to make Your not the friend to in fault mistakes only one yourself
  • 27. Quality World Create your quality world. What would be in it?
  • 28. 30 Second Interventions Is what you are doing okay now? What can I do to help you so you can...? When will you be ready to start? Whats your job now? It looks like we have a problem. How can we solve it? Do you want to 鍖gure out a better way? How can I help?
  • 29. More 30 Sec. Interventions How would you like to be treated during this activity? Can you do that? Can you change what you Is it okay to make mistakes? are doing now to be helpful? Can we 鍖x it? Are you being the kind of person you want to be ? Would you like to do better? It looks like you have a problem. How can I help?
  • 30. Does it really matter? Goals: To identify areas in which we try to control other people. To select and prioritize the standards which re鍖ect our values. To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to set on others.
  • 31. YES IF... This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from children to which they normally answer no or No, because The requests are usually simple ones such as May I sharpen my pencil? The answer my be No, because Im talking. However, a better answer would be one which redirects the child, such as Yes, when Im 鍖nished giving instructions.
  • 32. YES IF...continued Say, YES... as often as possible. If you cant say YES, say YES IF... or YES WHEN... When you say NO, give the child a reason and dont change your mind.
  • 33. My Job/Your Job My JOB is... Your JOB is... Teach you new things To learn Help you 鍖nd answers Be prepared to work Have fun Be on time Keep you safe Try your best Respect students Ask questions Evaluate students Make responsible choices Be prepared Solve problems Safe learning environment Self evaluate My JOB is NOT... To give you the answer Your JOB is not... To yell To do nothing To be your mom Provide entertainment To be your maid Put downs To make you learn To do my job To make other peoples decisions
  • 34. Could you have done worse? SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE: 1. Ask: Could you have done worse? (exaggerate-eg. If aggressing, could you have been more aggressive?} 2. Ask: What was the value you were protecting by the behavior you didnt like in yourself? (value=need) 3. Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value- to not be the person you want to be? (NO!) 4. Give yourself credit, though it didnt work out the way you wanted it to, it was better than
  • 35. First Questions? What need is not being met and how can we meet that need? Start with: What do you want? How do you want it to look? XXXX How can I make this kid do what I want? What happened?
  • 36. Asking Questions These are great to teach kids how to ? What do you want? What are you doing? Saying? Is it working? Can you 鍖gure out a better way?
  • 37. Weaving Monitor Manager Monitor Manager If you dont____, I will___ I would rather____ (Give you a consequence. Discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)