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Restitution

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rpolonsky

This is my first restitution powerpt. See Restitution Zen for a more updated version. Restitution creates the conditions for the person to fix their mistakes and return to the group strengthened.

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Restitution In Schools An Introduction
Restitution Create conditions for the person to Fix their mistakes Return to the group Strengthened
Tilling the Soil Teaching kids to look inside Is this the kind of student I want to be Is this the kind of friend I want to be Is this the kind of soccer player I want to be NOTWhat will happen to me if I do that
Restitution Mantra This is what I want This is what Im doing Is it working Yes, were on the right road. Share the not working one.
Control Theory What is Control Theory? Activity to show what Control Theory is. (Teaches us that we are internally motivated by the need- satisfying pictures we have constructed in our heads.) Close your fist. All behavior is purposeful. Do you think this is true?
WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Yells & Teacher Points Does Teacher If you Says dont Ill Rebel Legacy Blame Student I dont Says care Student Repeat Outcomes Offense
WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Yells & Preaches & Teacher Points Shoulds Does You know Teacher If you better Says dont Ill Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Blame Lie Student I dont Im sorry Says care Student Repeat Low Self- Outcomes Offense Esteem
WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Buddy Yells & Preaches & Makes Teacher Points Shoulds Excuses Does for them You know Do it for Teacher If you better me Says dont Ill Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Blame Lie Student I thought I dont Im sorry Says you were care my friend Weakness Student Repeat Low Self- Outcomes Offense Esteem
WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Yells & Preaches & Makes Teacher Counts & Points Shoulds Excuses Does Measures for them You know If you Do it for Whats the Teacher better dont Ill me Rule? Says Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Conformity Blame Lie Student I thought How high? I dont Im sorry Says you were How far? care my friend Weakness Student Repeat Low Self- Consequence Outcomes Offense Esteem Orientated
WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager Yells & Preaches & Makes Teacher Counts & Asks Points Shoulds Excuses Does Measures Questions for them You know If you Do it for Whats the What do we Teacher better dont Ill me Rule? believe? Says Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Strengthened Conformity Blame Lie Student I thought How high? What can I I dont Im sorry Says you were How far? do to fix it? care my friend Weakness Student Repeat Low Self- Consequence Self- Outcomes Offense Esteem Orientated Restitution
Time for an inventory
Restitution is not a payback; it is a pay forward. Restitution restores relationships Restitution teaches the person to look inside Restitution is looking for the basic need behind the problem. Self restitution is the most powerful tool. Restitution is about being not doing. Restitution strengthens. Restitution focuses on solutions Restitution restores one to the group
Needs Inventory Basic Needs Love and Belonging: Connectedness, Power Mastery: (cheap vs. deep) Freedom: Independence Fun: Generosity (clean vs. mean)
BELONGING NEEDS LOTS OF SOCIALIZATION THINKS ABOUT OTHERS LOTS OF TOUCH AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION FOLLOWS GROUP EASILY WANT TO BE LIKED ENJOY COOPERATIVE LEARNING
Power and Love These two can become twinned. Conditional love: children get approval only for their performance. Creates anxiety to perform. Unconditional love: being loved is not dependent on being polite, neat, responsible, or a good student. Parents says things like: I missed your smile. You can figure things out. Give yourself unconditional comments. Say, Im doing the best that I can.
POWER OBSERVE BEFORE TRYING NEW THINGS DISTRESSED BY MISTAKES/NOT A RISK TAKER. WANT TO BE IN CONTROL ORGANIZED LIKE TO BE THE BEST COMPETITIVE
Types of Power Power over ones own body: Child: learning to walk, bike and play sports. Adult: it may be grooming, dieting, exercising. To have power is to act on the inanimate world. Child: build a fort, grow a garden, paint a picture, complete an assignment. Power to impact other people using emotional behaviors: ie.: + Smiling, complimenting, - guilting, angering whinning. If we develop the power above we use less of the of the negative.
FREEDOM ENDLESS ENERGY-NEEDS TO MOVE ASKS LOTS OF QUESTIONS LIKES TO EXPERIMENT DOESNT LIKE TO BE MICROMANAGED NEEDS CHOICES NOT SO INFLUENCED BY OTHERS
FUN UNDERSTANDS OTHERS LOW CONFLICT NOT BORED-MAKES THINGS INTERESTING FOR SELF AMUSING EVEN WHEN MISBEHAVING
Fortune 500 List Now 1970 Teamwork 1 10 Problem Solving 2 12 Interpersonal Skills 3 13 Oral Comm. 4 4 Listening 5 5 Personal Developmt. 6 6 Creative Thinking 7 7 Leadership 8 8 Goal Setting 9 9 Writing 10 1 Organizational skills 11 11 Computation 12 2 Reading 13 3
First Question ??????? What need is not being meet and how can we meet that need??? *Start with what do you want? Rather thanXXXXX How can I make this kid do what I want???XXXXX
Restitution Rethinking Plan 1. What was your mistake? 2. How did your mistake help you meet your needs? 3. How did you hurt _______s needs? 4. What plan will help you without hurting someone else? 5. How will your plan make you stronger?
Getting to the NEED S: I hate that class. (bad feeling) C: Whats happening? S: I dont like her bossing me around. (Dont want) C: How do you think it should be? S: Her letting me work on my own. (Do want) C: How would that be better for you? S: Id be able to breathe. (Need) C: So you would like a little more____?___. S: You bet! C: So if we could figure out a way for you to have some more independence to work in that classroom, would you be able to do your work? S: Yes. (Move to new strategies)
Restitution Tools RESTITUTION TRIANGLE 30 SECOND INTERVENTION REALLY MATTER? YES IF REALITY THERAPY QUESTIONS MY JOB/YOUR JOB COMPLAIN TO ME BABY! COULD YOU HAVE DONE WORSE? WEAVING
Happy people evaluate ourselves Unhappy people evaluate others. RSD?
Success in the FUTURE ERROR RECOVERY OR FAILURE AVOIDANCE
Restitution Triangle What we believe Not for no W reason ed E e UL AR th OSEF Se ne E IN Social contract RP TE ek Keep that behavior, at IS PU RN add to it AL LY th lid VIOR e Person you want M Could you have e O Va BEHA to be. TI done worse? V be Restitution AT L AL ED lie Stabilize the identity f WERE DOING THE BEST WE CAN. Not interested Okay to make Good friend Youre not the in fault a mistake to self only one
The three sides of the
COULD YOU HAVE DONE WORSE? SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE: Ask: Could you have done worse? (exaggerate-eg. If 1. aggressing, could you have been more aggressive?} Ask: What was the value you were protecting by the 2. behavior you didnt like in yourself? (value=need) Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value-to not be 3. the person you want to be? (NO!) Give yourself credit, though it didnt work out the way you 4. wanted it to, it was better than something else you might have done and now you can figure out a better way.
Reality Therapy Questions What do we believe? Do you believe it? If you believe it, do you want to fix it? If you fix it, what does it say about you? Who are you becoming? How are you going to make things right? Whats your plan to solve the problem? What kind of person do you want to be? How can you fix it? How will this plan make you stronger and help the group?
How we use the NEEDS Love & belonging, Freedom, Power, Fun Everyone learns about the basic needs that drive our behavior. We talk about these instead of sticking on the problem.
My Dream Children learn to honestly self evaluate and self restitute once adults stop punishing, guilting, and bribing them and we adults model internal power. Child will learn to do this for themselves. Restitution says to the child, Look inside yourself and you will find the answer.
30 Second Interventions Is what youre doing Okay now? What can I do to help you so you can When will you be ready to start? It looks like you have a problems. Whats your job now? How could I help you solve it. Is what youre doing now Do you want to figure out a better way? Helping or hurting our lesson? How can I help?
More 30 Second Interventions How would you like to be treated Is it ok to make during this activity? Can you do mistakes? We can fix it. that? Can you change what you are doing now to be helpful? Would you like to do better? These interventions encourage Are you being the kind of person you kids to think about their behavior. want to be? It looks like you have a problem. How can I help? Whats the rule? Can you do that?
Does It Really Matter? Goals: To identify areas in which we try to control other people. To select and prioritize the standards which reflect our values. To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to set on others.
Does It Really Matter If he sits with his feet on the floor? If they are talking when working? If he does his homework? If she fails her exam? If they want to change seats? If she writes neatly? If he understands the lesson? If she participates in a class discussion? If he wears an earring? If he shows up on time? If she has a clean desk? If he hands in an assignment on time?
YES IF This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from children to which they normally answer no or No, because The requests are usually simple ones such as May I sharpen my pencil? The answer my be No, because Im talking. However, a better answer would be one which redirects the child, such as Yes, when Im finished giving instructions.
Yes, If continued In order to increase the number of positive replies: Say yes as often as you can. If you cant say yes, say Yes, if or Yes, when and add the necessary condition. When you say no, give the child your reason and DONT change your mind.
My JOB/Your JOB This is a 4-part T-chart that is used to outline how two jobs differ. This chart clarifies responsibilities It helps people to create common pictures of who should be doing what. It can save teachers a lot of energy and preserves relationships.
My Job/Your Job Learn Teach Try Evaluate Coordinate learning Do best environment Be prepared Upgrade learning Communicate with parents Respect others Be prepared Clean up after self Enforce rules Keep records Listen Not my JOB!! Not your JOB!! Take or give abuse To be my friend Be a social coordinator To please me
Complain To Me Baby!! 1. How would you like it to be? (listen for the need) Why is it important? Can you control this? 2. What have you been doing to get what you want? 3. Is it working No/partly 4. Do you want to figure out a better way? No Yes Plan or Do you just want to complain? (2 minutes)
WEAVING Manager Monitor If you dont ____, I will _____ I would rather__________ (Give you a consequence-discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)
BEHAVIOR CAR-Ask yourself does your present behavior have a reasonable chance of getting you what you want now and will it take you in the direction you want to go? WANTS FEELING THINKING PHYSIOLOLGY DOING
TAKE CONTROL CHART PR OB What is it that I LE BAD FEELING M dont want? NEED CO TH N EO Have to go here TR RY DO WANT OL because may want something they cant sol have. uti on Strategies PLAN
Starting the Year with Restitution Teach the 5 NEEDS Determine individual strength of each need. Quality World Beliefs Develop a Social Contract The Restitution Triangle
Restitution

More Related Content

Restitution

  • 1. Restitution In Schools An Introduction
  • 2. Restitution Create conditions for the person to Fix their mistakes Return to the group Strengthened
  • 3. Tilling the Soil Teaching kids to look inside Is this the kind of student I want to be Is this the kind of friend I want to be Is this the kind of soccer player I want to be NOTWhat will happen to me if I do that
  • 4. Restitution Mantra This is what I want This is what Im doing Is it working Yes, were on the right road. Share the not working one.
  • 5. Control Theory What is Control Theory? Activity to show what Control Theory is. (Teaches us that we are internally motivated by the need- satisfying pictures we have constructed in our heads.) Close your fist. All behavior is purposeful. Do you think this is true?
  • 6. WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Yells & Teacher Points Does Teacher If you Says dont Ill Rebel Legacy Blame Student I dont Says care Student Repeat Outcomes Offense
  • 7. WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Yells & Preaches & Teacher Points Shoulds Does You know Teacher If you better Says dont Ill Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Blame Lie Student I dont Im sorry Says care Student Repeat Low Self- Outcomes Offense Esteem
  • 8. WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Buddy Yells & Preaches & Makes Teacher Points Shoulds Excuses Does for them You know Do it for Teacher If you better me Says dont Ill Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Blame Lie Student I thought I dont Im sorry Says you were care my friend Weakness Student Repeat Low Self- Outcomes Offense Esteem
  • 9. WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Yells & Preaches & Makes Teacher Counts & Points Shoulds Excuses Does Measures for them You know If you Do it for Whats the Teacher better dont Ill me Rule? Says Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Conformity Blame Lie Student I thought How high? I dont Im sorry Says you were How far? care my friend Weakness Student Repeat Low Self- Consequence Outcomes Offense Esteem Orientated
  • 10. WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE AVOID PAIN REWARD FROM OTHERS RESPECTING SELF Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager Yells & Preaches & Makes Teacher Counts & Asks Points Shoulds Excuses Does Measures Questions for them You know If you Do it for Whats the What do we Teacher better dont Ill me Rule? believe? Says Rebel Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Strengthened Conformity Blame Lie Student I thought How high? What can I I dont Im sorry Says you were How far? do to fix it? care my friend Weakness Student Repeat Low Self- Consequence Self- Outcomes Offense Esteem Orientated Restitution
  • 11. Time for an inventory
  • 12. Restitution is not a payback; it is a pay forward. Restitution restores relationships Restitution teaches the person to look inside Restitution is looking for the basic need behind the problem. Self restitution is the most powerful tool. Restitution is about being not doing. Restitution strengthens. Restitution focuses on solutions Restitution restores one to the group
  • 13. Needs Inventory Basic Needs Love and Belonging: Connectedness, Power Mastery: (cheap vs. deep) Freedom: Independence Fun: Generosity (clean vs. mean)
  • 14. BELONGING NEEDS LOTS OF SOCIALIZATION THINKS ABOUT OTHERS LOTS OF TOUCH AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION FOLLOWS GROUP EASILY WANT TO BE LIKED ENJOY COOPERATIVE LEARNING
  • 15. Power and Love These two can become twinned. Conditional love: children get approval only for their performance. Creates anxiety to perform. Unconditional love: being loved is not dependent on being polite, neat, responsible, or a good student. Parents says things like: I missed your smile. You can figure things out. Give yourself unconditional comments. Say, Im doing the best that I can.
  • 16. POWER OBSERVE BEFORE TRYING NEW THINGS DISTRESSED BY MISTAKES/NOT A RISK TAKER. WANT TO BE IN CONTROL ORGANIZED LIKE TO BE THE BEST COMPETITIVE
  • 17. Types of Power Power over ones own body: Child: learning to walk, bike and play sports. Adult: it may be grooming, dieting, exercising. To have power is to act on the inanimate world. Child: build a fort, grow a garden, paint a picture, complete an assignment. Power to impact other people using emotional behaviors: ie.: + Smiling, complimenting, - guilting, angering whinning. If we develop the power above we use less of the of the negative.
  • 18. FREEDOM ENDLESS ENERGY-NEEDS TO MOVE ASKS LOTS OF QUESTIONS LIKES TO EXPERIMENT DOESNT LIKE TO BE MICROMANAGED NEEDS CHOICES NOT SO INFLUENCED BY OTHERS
  • 19. FUN UNDERSTANDS OTHERS LOW CONFLICT NOT BORED-MAKES THINGS INTERESTING FOR SELF AMUSING EVEN WHEN MISBEHAVING
  • 20. Fortune 500 List Now 1970 Teamwork 1 10 Problem Solving 2 12 Interpersonal Skills 3 13 Oral Comm. 4 4 Listening 5 5 Personal Developmt. 6 6 Creative Thinking 7 7 Leadership 8 8 Goal Setting 9 9 Writing 10 1 Organizational skills 11 11 Computation 12 2 Reading 13 3
  • 21. First Question ??????? What need is not being meet and how can we meet that need??? *Start with what do you want? Rather thanXXXXX How can I make this kid do what I want???XXXXX
  • 22. Restitution Rethinking Plan 1. What was your mistake? 2. How did your mistake help you meet your needs? 3. How did you hurt _______s needs? 4. What plan will help you without hurting someone else? 5. How will your plan make you stronger?
  • 23. Getting to the NEED S: I hate that class. (bad feeling) C: Whats happening? S: I dont like her bossing me around. (Dont want) C: How do you think it should be? S: Her letting me work on my own. (Do want) C: How would that be better for you? S: Id be able to breathe. (Need) C: So you would like a little more____?___. S: You bet! C: So if we could figure out a way for you to have some more independence to work in that classroom, would you be able to do your work? S: Yes. (Move to new strategies)
  • 24. Restitution Tools RESTITUTION TRIANGLE 30 SECOND INTERVENTION REALLY MATTER? YES IF REALITY THERAPY QUESTIONS MY JOB/YOUR JOB COMPLAIN TO ME BABY! COULD YOU HAVE DONE WORSE? WEAVING
  • 25. Happy people evaluate ourselves Unhappy people evaluate others. RSD?
  • 26. Success in the FUTURE ERROR RECOVERY OR FAILURE AVOIDANCE
  • 27. Restitution Triangle What we believe Not for no W reason ed E e UL AR th OSEF Se ne E IN Social contract RP TE ek Keep that behavior, at IS PU RN add to it AL LY th lid VIOR e Person you want M Could you have e O Va BEHA to be. TI done worse? V be Restitution AT L AL ED lie Stabilize the identity f WERE DOING THE BEST WE CAN. Not interested Okay to make Good friend Youre not the in fault a mistake to self only one
  • 28. The three sides of the
  • 29. COULD YOU HAVE DONE WORSE? SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE: Ask: Could you have done worse? (exaggerate-eg. If 1. aggressing, could you have been more aggressive?} Ask: What was the value you were protecting by the 2. behavior you didnt like in yourself? (value=need) Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value-to not be 3. the person you want to be? (NO!) Give yourself credit, though it didnt work out the way you 4. wanted it to, it was better than something else you might have done and now you can figure out a better way.
  • 30. Reality Therapy Questions What do we believe? Do you believe it? If you believe it, do you want to fix it? If you fix it, what does it say about you? Who are you becoming? How are you going to make things right? Whats your plan to solve the problem? What kind of person do you want to be? How can you fix it? How will this plan make you stronger and help the group?
  • 31. How we use the NEEDS Love & belonging, Freedom, Power, Fun Everyone learns about the basic needs that drive our behavior. We talk about these instead of sticking on the problem.
  • 32. My Dream Children learn to honestly self evaluate and self restitute once adults stop punishing, guilting, and bribing them and we adults model internal power. Child will learn to do this for themselves. Restitution says to the child, Look inside yourself and you will find the answer.
  • 33. 30 Second Interventions Is what youre doing Okay now? What can I do to help you so you can When will you be ready to start? It looks like you have a problems. Whats your job now? How could I help you solve it. Is what youre doing now Do you want to figure out a better way? Helping or hurting our lesson? How can I help?
  • 34. More 30 Second Interventions How would you like to be treated Is it ok to make during this activity? Can you do mistakes? We can fix it. that? Can you change what you are doing now to be helpful? Would you like to do better? These interventions encourage Are you being the kind of person you kids to think about their behavior. want to be? It looks like you have a problem. How can I help? Whats the rule? Can you do that?
  • 35. Does It Really Matter? Goals: To identify areas in which we try to control other people. To select and prioritize the standards which reflect our values. To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to set on others.
  • 36. Does It Really Matter If he sits with his feet on the floor? If they are talking when working? If he does his homework? If she fails her exam? If they want to change seats? If she writes neatly? If he understands the lesson? If she participates in a class discussion? If he wears an earring? If he shows up on time? If she has a clean desk? If he hands in an assignment on time?
  • 37. YES IF This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from children to which they normally answer no or No, because The requests are usually simple ones such as May I sharpen my pencil? The answer my be No, because Im talking. However, a better answer would be one which redirects the child, such as Yes, when Im finished giving instructions.
  • 38. Yes, If continued In order to increase the number of positive replies: Say yes as often as you can. If you cant say yes, say Yes, if or Yes, when and add the necessary condition. When you say no, give the child your reason and DONT change your mind.
  • 39. My JOB/Your JOB This is a 4-part T-chart that is used to outline how two jobs differ. This chart clarifies responsibilities It helps people to create common pictures of who should be doing what. It can save teachers a lot of energy and preserves relationships.
  • 40. My Job/Your Job Learn Teach Try Evaluate Coordinate learning Do best environment Be prepared Upgrade learning Communicate with parents Respect others Be prepared Clean up after self Enforce rules Keep records Listen Not my JOB!! Not your JOB!! Take or give abuse To be my friend Be a social coordinator To please me
  • 41. Complain To Me Baby!! 1. How would you like it to be? (listen for the need) Why is it important? Can you control this? 2. What have you been doing to get what you want? 3. Is it working No/partly 4. Do you want to figure out a better way? No Yes Plan or Do you just want to complain? (2 minutes)
  • 42. WEAVING Manager Monitor If you dont ____, I will _____ I would rather__________ (Give you a consequence-discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)
  • 43. BEHAVIOR CAR-Ask yourself does your present behavior have a reasonable chance of getting you what you want now and will it take you in the direction you want to go? WANTS FEELING THINKING PHYSIOLOLGY DOING
  • 44. TAKE CONTROL CHART PR OB What is it that I LE BAD FEELING M dont want? NEED CO TH N EO Have to go here TR RY DO WANT OL because may want something they cant sol have. uti on Strategies PLAN
  • 45. Starting the Year with Restitution Teach the 5 NEEDS Determine individual strength of each need. Quality World Beliefs Develop a Social Contract The Restitution Triangle