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cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism




           Writing Summary Leads
                from Online Exercises 3-2.2 to 3-2.6




B RUCE C LARY                                          I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 San Francisco police said yesterday that a 23-year-
 old Ohio man bled to death early Friday after a brawl
 in a Tenderloin bar.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                     B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                  I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 San Francisco police said yesterday that a 23-year-
 old Ohio man bled to death early Friday after a brawl
 in a Tenderloin bar.

 A 23-year-old Ohio man bled to death early Friday
 after a brawl in a Tenderloin bar, San Francisco
 police said yesterday

FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                     B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                  I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 There was a report out Friday that identity thieves
 have stolen more than 40 million credit card
 accounts in perhaps the single largest case of
 consumer data theft ever.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                      B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                   I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 There was a report out Friday that identity thieves
 have stolen more than 40 million credit card
 accounts in perhaps the single largest case of
 consumer data theft ever.

 Identity thieves have stolen more than 40 million
 credit card accounts in perhaps the single largest
 case of consumer data theft ever, according to a
 report released Friday.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                      B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                   I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 Nevada City resident Harriet Swank suffered
 serious injuries Sunday when she triggered a
 methane explosion by lighting a match in a
 portable toilet.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                    B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                 I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 Nevada City resident Harriet Swank suffered
 serious injuries Sunday when she triggered a
 methane explosion by lighting a match in a
 portable toilet.

 A Nevada City resident suffered serious injuries
 Sunday when she triggered a methane explosion
 by lighting a match in a portable toilet.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                     B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                  I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 A state prosecutor was asked by Gov. Jeb Bush on
 Friday to explore the circumstance of a dead
 womans collapse 15 years ago.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                    B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                 I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 A state prosecutor was asked by Gov. Jeb Bush on
 Friday to explore the circumstance of a dead
 womans collapse 15 years ago.

 Gov. Jeb Bush on Friday asked a state prosecutor
 to explore the circumstance of a dead womans
 collapse 15 years ago.

FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                    B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                 I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 In their fourth such action since last months
 disappearance of an Alabama teen, Aruban police
 arrested a party boat disc jockey on Friday.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 In their fourth such action since last months
 disappearance of an Alabama teen, Aruban police
 arrested a party boat disc jockey on Friday.

 Aruban police arrested a party boat disc jockey on
 Friday, making him the fourth person taken into
 custody in connection with last months
 disappearance of an Alabama teen.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                     B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                  I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 In Kyrgistan on Monday, police battled protesters
 who swarmed into government buildings in the
 nations biggest unrest since the ouster of its
 president in March.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                     B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                  I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?
 In Kyrgistan on Monday, police battled protesters
 who swarmed into government buildings in the
 nations biggest unrest since the ouster of its
 president in March.

 Kyrgistan police battled protesters who swarmed
 into government buildings Monday in the nations
 biggest unrest since the ouster of its president in
 March.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                      B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                   I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 Roughly 1,000 U.S. Marines and Iraqi soldiers
 backed by American fighter jets attacked insurgent
 strongholds in the western Iraqi town of Karabilah
 on Friday and pushed along the banks of the
 Euphrates River valley looking for terrorists and
 terrorist-support systems that have taken
 advantage of Syrias porous border.

FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                    B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                 I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


                      Better




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


                        Better
 Roughly 1,000 U.S. Marines and Iraqi soldiers
 backed by American fighter jets attacked insurgent
 strongholds in the western Iraqi town of Karabilah
 on Friday. The allied U.S. and Iraqi soldiers pushed
 along the banks of the Euphrates River valley
 looking for terrorists and terrorist-support
 systems that have taken advantage of Syrias
 porous border.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                      B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                   I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 Mount Clemens police arrested a former parking
 meter attendant last week after finding thousands
 of dollars in coins in his home.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                    B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                 I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism


          Whats wrong with this lead?

 Mount Clemens police arrested a former parking
 meter attendant last week after finding thousands
 of dollars in coins in his home.

 A former parking meter attendant was arrested in
 Mount Clemens last week after police found
 thousands of dollars in coins in his home.

FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                    B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                 I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                Which lead is best?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale
 Adult School.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                 B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                              I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale
 Adult School.

 An arsonist set a predawn fire at the Oakdale Adult School Tuesday,
 causing about $35,000 damage, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam
 said. It is the second suspicious fire in two years at the school.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                 B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                              I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale
 Adult School.

 An arsonist set a predawn fire at the Oakdale Adult School Tuesday,
 causing about $35,000 damage, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam
 said. It is the second suspicious fire in two years at the school.

 Arson appears to be the cause of a fire that broke out Tuesday
 morning at Oakdale Adult School, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam
 said.


FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                 B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                              I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                Which lead is best?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a
 successful emergency landing at San Francisco International
 Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot
 to abort the flight to Los Angeles.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                 B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                              I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a
 successful emergency landing at San Francisco International
 Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot
 to abort the flight to Los Angeles.

 The Federal Aviation Administration will investigate the reasons that
 led to a PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members
 making an emergency landing at San Francisco International
 Airport Saturday evening.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                 B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                              I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a
 successful emergency landing at San Francisco International
 Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot
 to abort the flight to Los Angeles.

 The Federal Aviation Administration will investigate the reasons that
 led to a PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members
 making an emergency landing at San Francisco International
 Airport Saturday evening.

 A planeload of passengers and crew members are counting their
 blessings after an emergency landing Saturday at San Francisco
 International Airport.

FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                 B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                              I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                Which lead is best?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                  Which lead is best?
 Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a
 November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City
 Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                               B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                            I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a
 November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City
 Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water.

 A ballot measure that, if approved, would allow the city to fluoridate
 its water will appear on the November ballot, thanks to a Cypress
 City Council vote authorizing it last night.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                  B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                               I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                   Which lead is best?
 Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a
 November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City
 Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water.

 A ballot measure that, if approved, would allow the city to fluoridate
 its water will appear on the November ballot, thanks to a Cypress
 City Council vote authorizing it last night.

 Cypress City Council members authorized a ballot measure last
 night that would, if approved in November, allow the city to
 fluoridate its water.


FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                  B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                               I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                Which lead is best?




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                   B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                  Which lead is best?
 A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher
 Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria erupted in
 gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the
 associations president with a small, automatic pistol.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                              B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                           I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                  Which lead is best?
 A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher
 Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria erupted in
 gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the
 associations president with a small, automatic pistol.

 A shooting Tuesday night at a meeting of the Cornelis Banta
 Schools Parent-Teacher Association left the groups president dead
 and one of its members in the county jail.




FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                             I NSTRUCTOR
cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism

                  Which lead is best?
 A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher
 Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria erupted in
 gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the
 associations president with a small, automatic pistol.

 A shooting Tuesday night at a meeting of the Cornelis Banta
 Schools Parent-Teacher Association left the groups president dead
 and one of its members in the county jail.

 Mrs. Noah ten Floed was shot between the eyes and died during a
 parliamentary exchange at the Cornelis Banta School Parent-
 Teacher Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria.

FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY                                B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
                                                             I NSTRUCTOR
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  • 2. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 3. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? San Francisco police said yesterday that a 23-year- old Ohio man bled to death early Friday after a brawl in a Tenderloin bar. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
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  • 13. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? A state prosecutor was asked by Gov. Jeb Bush on Friday to explore the circumstance of a dead womans collapse 15 years ago. Gov. Jeb Bush on Friday asked a state prosecutor to explore the circumstance of a dead womans collapse 15 years ago. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 14. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 15. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? In their fourth such action since last months disappearance of an Alabama teen, Aruban police arrested a party boat disc jockey on Friday. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
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  • 23. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Better Roughly 1,000 U.S. Marines and Iraqi soldiers backed by American fighter jets attacked insurgent strongholds in the western Iraqi town of Karabilah on Friday. The allied U.S. and Iraqi soldiers pushed along the banks of the Euphrates River valley looking for terrorists and terrorist-support systems that have taken advantage of Syrias porous border. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
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  • 25. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? Mount Clemens police arrested a former parking meter attendant last week after finding thousands of dollars in coins in his home. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 26. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Whats wrong with this lead? Mount Clemens police arrested a former parking meter attendant last week after finding thousands of dollars in coins in his home. A former parking meter attendant was arrested in Mount Clemens last week after police found thousands of dollars in coins in his home. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 27. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 28. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale Adult School. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 29. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale Adult School. An arsonist set a predawn fire at the Oakdale Adult School Tuesday, causing about $35,000 damage, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam said. It is the second suspicious fire in two years at the school. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 30. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale Adult School. An arsonist set a predawn fire at the Oakdale Adult School Tuesday, causing about $35,000 damage, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam said. It is the second suspicious fire in two years at the school. Arson appears to be the cause of a fire that broke out Tuesday morning at Oakdale Adult School, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam said. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 31. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 32. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a successful emergency landing at San Francisco International Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot to abort the flight to Los Angeles. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 33. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a successful emergency landing at San Francisco International Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot to abort the flight to Los Angeles. The Federal Aviation Administration will investigate the reasons that led to a PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members making an emergency landing at San Francisco International Airport Saturday evening. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 34. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a successful emergency landing at San Francisco International Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot to abort the flight to Los Angeles. The Federal Aviation Administration will investigate the reasons that led to a PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members making an emergency landing at San Francisco International Airport Saturday evening. A planeload of passengers and crew members are counting their blessings after an emergency landing Saturday at San Francisco International Airport. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 35. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 36. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 37. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water. A ballot measure that, if approved, would allow the city to fluoridate its water will appear on the November ballot, thanks to a Cypress City Council vote authorizing it last night. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 38. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water. A ballot measure that, if approved, would allow the city to fluoridate its water will appear on the November ballot, thanks to a Cypress City Council vote authorizing it last night. Cypress City Council members authorized a ballot measure last night that would, if approved in November, allow the city to fluoridate its water. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 39. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 40. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria erupted in gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the associations president with a small, automatic pistol. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 41. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria erupted in gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the associations president with a small, automatic pistol. A shooting Tuesday night at a meeting of the Cornelis Banta Schools Parent-Teacher Association left the groups president dead and one of its members in the county jail. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR
  • 42. cm 1 35 an introduction to journalism Which lead is best? A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria erupted in gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the associations president with a small, automatic pistol. A shooting Tuesday night at a meeting of the Cornelis Banta Schools Parent-Teacher Association left the groups president dead and one of its members in the county jail. Mrs. Noah ten Floed was shot between the eyes and died during a parliamentary exchange at the Cornelis Banta School Parent- Teacher Association meeting Tuesday in the schools cafeteria. FALL 2009 B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR I NSTRUCTOR