The Enchanted Loom reviews Solomon and Tatkin's book, Love and War in Intimate Relationships
Download as PPTX, PDF
1 like497 views
Few of us really know what it truly takes to make an intimate relationship work. Marion Solomon and Stan Tatkin know more than most. In this book not only will you find the worst aspects of your relationship showing up, but possibilities for repair, healing and growth as well.
The Enchanted Loom reviews Solomon and Tatkin's book, Love and War in Intimate Relationships
- 1. The Enchanted Loom Teasing sturdy threads from neuroscience masterworks
- 2. Teasing 10 threads from Marion Solomons & Stan Tatkins
- 3. Thread 1: Intimate partners are always testing their relationship: If I show you my true self, can I be sure that you wont shame me, attack me, or leave me? (pg. xvii)
- 4. Thread 2: It is no accident that of all the possible people to choose from, often the person we select to become the center of our world turns out to have an uncanny resemblance to a person who raised us. (pg. 3)
- 5. Thread 3: In all intimate partnerships, people make both pro-relationship and non-pro-rela- tionship behavioral choices. Pro-relation- ship choices tend to be experienced as loving; non- pro-relationship choices tend to be experienced as unloving. (pg. 45)
- 6. Thread 4: Where true mutuality prevails, each partner is the others go-to person and serves as witness, minister, cheerleader, and facilitator of the others life journey. We fare much better in the hand of another who is willing, inter- ested and able to partner with us. (pg. 46)
- 7. Thread 5: Awareness in shifts in arousal is the royal road to awareness of implicit systems - and implicit systems, which are non- cognitive and non-verbal, can quickly make the difference between love and war. (pg. 48)
- 8. Thread 6: Most partners are more alike than not and their union makes historic sense, in keeping with the conviction that people enter into intimate relationships to heal old wounds and meet impor- tant attachment needs. (pg. 55)
- 9. Thread 7: High arousal partners have an extraordin- arily rapid rate of kindling for anger and rage and typically accel- erate into hyper-arousal at the drop of a hat. Because high arousal partners lack impulse control, they forget about holding and waiting. (pg. 109)
- 10. Thread 8: It is neurologically impossible for partners to set the record straight. The unrelenting attempt at re-construction of a traumatic event is itself re-traumatizing. (pg. 113)
- 11. Thread 9: A nonresponse isnt neutral; at least its not perceived as neutral by most people. In the absence of a response people are inclined to take a non- response as negative, especially when they are in distress. (pg.131)
- 12. Thread 10: We can only truly listen to others when we are in a neurologically receptive state, feeling safe. The first step to ward- ing off reactivity is to recognize it. (pg. 181) http://bit.ly/2rotfQ6
- 13. Image Credits: Title Page: http://www.rappler.com/science-nature/23193-personality-traits-brain-scans 際際滷 3 - http://bit.ly/2pjrKFs 際際滷 12 - http://bit.ly/2rotfQ6 際際滷 2 - http://drmarionsolomon.com/ http://bit.ly/2prVyOx 際際滷 6 - https://www.tumblr.com/search/broncos%20cheerleader 際際滷 5 - http://www.deviantart.com/art/Heart-and-pearls-vintage-photo-679668749 際際滷 11 - http://sundancekidonline.com/see-no-evil-hear-no-evil-speak-no-evil/ 際際滷 10 - https://www.promises.com/articles/ptsd/ptsd-complex-ptsd-addictions-and-treatment/ 際際滷 14 - http://www.rappler.com/science-nature/23193-personality-traits-brain-scans 際際滷 9 - http://www.disorders.org/impulse-control-disorders/ 際際滷 8 - http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1076673/why-couples-look-alike 際際滷 7 - http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/342864-walking-the-royal-road 際際滷 4 - http://partiallyobjectified.blogspot.com/p/theory.html
- 14. Mark Brady, PhD TheEnchantedLoom@gmail.com to Subscribe or receive the Powerpoints for Free Thank you for viewing !