際際滷

際際滷Share a Scribd company logo

The fine art of saying yes boss..

Mukul Chaudhri
Mukul Chaudhri

The document contains a collection of short jokes and anecdotes about management. It begins with a story about a lost balloonist who asks for directions from a woman on the ground. She provides him with precise coordinates but no context, demonstrating she is an engineer. The balloonist concludes she must be management because he remains lost despite her response. Another joke describes an American Indian who throws a bucket of manure and shoots it in a cafe, training to be in top management. The document concludes with several brief one-liners poking fun at management.

1 of 4
10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n Publication: The Economic Times Mumbai;Date: Oct 9, 2012;Section: Frdm frm Economics;Page: 20 The Fine Art of Saying YES BOSS ... Management is a subject that even many managers concede is ripe for the humorous take. We are all being managed and/or managing something/someone. And all of us can do with a few laughs. So heres a short but hopefully sharp selection of management humour. Naturally, the higher you are in the management hierarchy, the more you are suitable for a funny take. HOT AIR RIDE A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am. The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Youre between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude. You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. I am, replied the woman, How did you know? Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is, technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost. Frankly, youve not been much help at all. If anything, youve delayed my trip. The woman below responded, You must be in management. I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know? Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where youre going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which youve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault. MIND THE CHAIR A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him: Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: Sure, why not. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Q: What can we learn from this? A: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up. COFFEE TABLE An American Indian walked into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, Me want coffee. The waiter says, Sure chief, coming right up... He gets the American Indian a tall mug of coffee..., and he drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 1/ 4
10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n The next morning he returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, Me want coffee. The waiter says, Whoa, Tonto! Were still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway? He smiles and proudly says, Me training for top management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of the day ... ONE-LINERS A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation Exceptions always outnumber rules If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 2/ 4
10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 3/ 4
10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 4/ 4

More Related Content

The fine art of saying yes boss..

  • 1. 10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n Publication: The Economic Times Mumbai;Date: Oct 9, 2012;Section: Frdm frm Economics;Page: 20 The Fine Art of Saying YES BOSS ... Management is a subject that even many managers concede is ripe for the humorous take. We are all being managed and/or managing something/someone. And all of us can do with a few laughs. So heres a short but hopefully sharp selection of management humour. Naturally, the higher you are in the management hierarchy, the more you are suitable for a funny take. HOT AIR RIDE A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am. The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Youre between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude. You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. I am, replied the woman, How did you know? Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is, technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost. Frankly, youve not been much help at all. If anything, youve delayed my trip. The woman below responded, You must be in management. I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know? Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where youre going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which youve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault. MIND THE CHAIR A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him: Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: Sure, why not. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Q: What can we learn from this? A: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up. COFFEE TABLE An American Indian walked into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, Me want coffee. The waiter says, Sure chief, coming right up... He gets the American Indian a tall mug of coffee..., and he drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 1/ 4
  • 2. 10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n The next morning he returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, Me want coffee. The waiter says, Whoa, Tonto! Were still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway? He smiles and proudly says, Me training for top management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of the day ... ONE-LINERS A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation Exceptions always outnumber rules If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 2/ 4
  • 3. 10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 3/ 4
  • 4. 10/ 9/ 12 The Fi e Ar t of Sayi g YES BO SS. . . n n epaper . t i esof i di . com / R m n a eposi or y/ get Fi s. asp?St yl =O l eXLi : Low t e l e i v b Level nt i yToPr i t _ETN E t n EW&Typ 4/ 4