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WHY DEAN SHOULD MARRY BLONDIE

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Alaina Fox
Alaina Fox

Dean should marry Blondie according to a powerpoint presentation that argues they are both attracted to each other, she is very attractive, and marrying her would result in perpetual bliss due to her flawless looks and high sex drive. However, marrying solely based on physical attraction and lust could potentially lead to future resentment if their relationship changes.

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WHY DEAN SHOULD MARRY BLONDIE A POWERPOINT
MY THESIS You and Blondie are both deranged heterosexuals. You are extremely attracted to her, and she is extremely attractive. She also may be mildly attracted to you. You should do this.
APPEALING CHARACTERISTICS Chart Title 9% 5% 9% NOT CHOCOLATE PRETTY 50% RAW SEXUALITY CINNAMON HAIR BECAUSE I SAID SO 27%
EXAMPLES OF A GIRL (BLONDIE IS A GIRL) This is your ex- girlfriend Blondie is prettier than her Besides, do you really want to spend the rest of your life living with a talentless, snobby , scum of the earth Hersheys bitch? Lets get real, bro
GETTING LAID STATS Remember what I said WITH CHOCOLATE about Chocolate? Now its a graph WITH BLONDIE 0% 50% 100% 150% 200%
DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE MARRIAGE (NOUN) BEING FOREVER TRAPPED IN AN UNHOLY STATE OF DISTRESS WITH A BITCH YOU ARENT EVEN ATTRACTED TO ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU BOTH STARTED HATING EACH OTHER WHEN YOU STOPPED HAVING SEX MARRIAGE WITH BLONDIE (NOUN) FINDING YOURSELF IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL BLISS BECAUSE YOUR WIFE IS A FLAWLESS GIROUX WOMEN WITH BLUE EYES AND HAIR THAT SMELLS LIKE CINNAMON. PLUS, SHE WANTS TO SUCK YOUR DICK LIKE NOBODYS BUSINESS AND HAVE SEX MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY, AND TOO MUCH SEX HAS NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM FOR YOU.
PROS AND CONS PROS CONS SEX ROCKS YOU MIGHT END UP HATING EACHOTHER BLONDIE ROCKS HER DAD MIGHT THINK YOURE SLUTTY BLONDIE HAS BREASTS HOW ARE YOU GOING TO RESPOND TO A FUCKING POWERPOINT IT WOULD BE REALLY ONE DAY, HER BODY MIGHT AWKWARD IF YOU BE SO DISGUSTING YOU ARE REJECTED MY POWERPOINT RENDERED IMPOTENT YOU WILL NEVER BE SAD NO MORE CONS. PROS OUTWEIGH CONS.
CELEBRITY TESTIMONIAL My name is Chandler Jacques, a French fashion designer, and I am here to tell you that this girl is incredibly attractive and will not stalk you and/or murder your dog.

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WHY DEAN SHOULD MARRY BLONDIE

  • 1. WHY DEAN SHOULD MARRY BLONDIE A POWERPOINT
  • 2. MY THESIS You and Blondie are both deranged heterosexuals. You are extremely attracted to her, and she is extremely attractive. She also may be mildly attracted to you. You should do this.
  • 3. APPEALING CHARACTERISTICS Chart Title 9% 5% 9% NOT CHOCOLATE PRETTY 50% RAW SEXUALITY CINNAMON HAIR BECAUSE I SAID SO 27%
  • 4. EXAMPLES OF A GIRL (BLONDIE IS A GIRL) This is your ex- girlfriend Blondie is prettier than her Besides, do you really want to spend the rest of your life living with a talentless, snobby , scum of the earth Hersheys bitch? Lets get real, bro
  • 5. GETTING LAID STATS Remember what I said WITH CHOCOLATE about Chocolate? Now its a graph WITH BLONDIE 0% 50% 100% 150% 200%
  • 6. DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE MARRIAGE (NOUN) BEING FOREVER TRAPPED IN AN UNHOLY STATE OF DISTRESS WITH A BITCH YOU ARENT EVEN ATTRACTED TO ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU BOTH STARTED HATING EACH OTHER WHEN YOU STOPPED HAVING SEX MARRIAGE WITH BLONDIE (NOUN) FINDING YOURSELF IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL BLISS BECAUSE YOUR WIFE IS A FLAWLESS GIROUX WOMEN WITH BLUE EYES AND HAIR THAT SMELLS LIKE CINNAMON. PLUS, SHE WANTS TO SUCK YOUR DICK LIKE NOBODYS BUSINESS AND HAVE SEX MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY, AND TOO MUCH SEX HAS NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM FOR YOU.
  • 7. PROS AND CONS PROS CONS SEX ROCKS YOU MIGHT END UP HATING EACHOTHER BLONDIE ROCKS HER DAD MIGHT THINK YOURE SLUTTY BLONDIE HAS BREASTS HOW ARE YOU GOING TO RESPOND TO A FUCKING POWERPOINT IT WOULD BE REALLY ONE DAY, HER BODY MIGHT AWKWARD IF YOU BE SO DISGUSTING YOU ARE REJECTED MY POWERPOINT RENDERED IMPOTENT YOU WILL NEVER BE SAD NO MORE CONS. PROS OUTWEIGH CONS.
  • 8. CELEBRITY TESTIMONIAL My name is Chandler Jacques, a French fashion designer, and I am here to tell you that this girl is incredibly attractive and will not stalk you and/or murder your dog.