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Why you shouldnt let anyone define your happiness by aryo moedanton 1.0
- 1. Why You Shouldnt Let Anyone Define Your Happiness By @aryomoedanton CEO and Founder of Anakmuda.net Ver 1.0 Copyrighted @aryomoedanton 2015
- 2. This guide are not your magic bullet, interview process is a somewhat highly individual approach, there is no single right way, what I share, is my personal experiences Ver 1.0 Copyrighted @aryomoedanton 2015
- 3. Back home, your parents are badgering you with expectations, In school/campus, your teachers do the same In working space, your co-workers always excel in everything s/he do
- 4. Even when you turn into social media, you discover happiness of your friends getting a surprise Bday cake, achieving tops of the class, winning debate competition, or getting accepted for lucrative scholarship
- 5. Then you look into the mirror and see the less perfect version of everyone else in the world, A pathetic mess that is less happy You are NOT special
- 6. Or are you?
- 7. Why? Why do you have to be special? Why do you need others to define your happiness?
- 8. Let me share a story about us, and our generations
- 9. First of all, we are different generations, Some call us generation Y, some call us generation Millenia
- 10. Well I prefer to call us, generation C CONTENT CREATORS CONNECTED CO-CREATE CUSTOMIZE CURIOUS CONTROL COMMUNITY CONSTANTLY CHANGE
- 11. We are Versatile, Mobile, and Communal, Which are our Strength, as well as our weaknesses
- 12. Weakness? Why? Because we are communal : we are prone to become judgmental Because we are mobile and versatile : we are prone to rush things and doesnt take a step back to think
- 13. What does being judgmental and rushing things has to do with happiness? because HAPPINESS = REALITY - EXPECTATION
- 14. It is simple, when the reality of someones life is better than they had expected, theyre happy. When reality turns out to be worse than the expectations, theyre unhappy
- 15. However sometimes happiness isnt about reality that is suck, but rather our expectation that is messed up, or simply unrealistic
- 16. Its a magical combination of our tendency to rush things and judgmental, plus the influences of our surroundings
- 17. Let us take a look at our closest family, our parents who most of them are born between 1960 - 1980
- 18. What happened at that time, were prosper times, Indonesia are just releasing itself from socialist and communism, and western economy flourishes, although not as good as ideal, situations are way better compared to 1950-1960
- 19. Our parents learn that things are getting better by hardworking, and it will always do. Also it is you, and only you that can change things to be better
- 20. Without realizing that there are external powers such as other countries, global economy, etc. That our country, although big in size, is just a fraction of a bigger, more complex world
- 21. Fortunately, reality at that time proved to be even better than their expectation (hence they are happy), thus confirming their belief that the hard work method succeed, and then you are all born as their children
- 22. Our parents raised us just like them being raised, with believes that you can do better than them, that you are special, nothing in this world can prevent you from achieving your dreams, they put a lot of optimism into you
- 23. This optimism grow within us, suddenly what our parent has is not enough, we want more, we believe we can do more, easily, We no longer just want food, shelter, and education, but we want financial freedom and other dreams
- 24. But that isnt exactly what happened to our worlds now, due to higher competitions, bigger populations, and relatively decreasing growth of Economy, something that can be easily achieved 30 years ago can be twice, if not thrice harder to achieve by today
- 25. 25 years ago, for 1 job occupations, there are 40 applicants, now it is 1200 25 years ago, for 1 scholarship there are 20 applicants, now it is 800 25 years ago, people retired at the age of 58, now it is 61 www.labour.org.uk
- 26. So what happened? It turns out that the reality is less kind compare to all the expectation that you, and your surroundings has build so far Hence, you are not happy
- 27. But somehow it get worse, again through our surroundings, especially in this digital era. It is easy for you to get massive number of informations. Theory dictate that more information create a more valid conclusion. So its good isnt it?
- 28. No it is not
- 29. It is good if those information are diverse and representing universally of what really happened in society Unfortunately, that is not what our Social Media do
- 30. Social media is not news, rather it is merely information generated by user that is subjective, and more importantly, exactly just like us (gen C, Rushing, Judgmental, thinking they are special, etc etc)
- 31. They are insecure, afraid to be judged by their surroundings, and feed their ego with hopes that they are more successful than others, and that is the ONLY projection that they wish to share
- 32. They are there publishing stories of their life, however in a bloated, inflated version of a good story, while hiding the bad things that happened to them. And even worse, technology is on their side, that is why we have Inner circle in path, or camera360 to hide you in your worst day, etc
- 33. This only (inaccurately) makes us feel that everyone else is happy and success meanwhile we are not, plus adding our own frustation of feeling less perfect, less happy Reality Others Reality You Reality Others Happiness Gap
- 34. So what do WE need to do?
- 35. Here is a couple of things that I can share based on what I experienced, and what I learned :
- 36. Even if you might be gifted, it is easier for you to live knowing that you are not a know it all person that will always succeed in whatever it is that you do, your imperfection will make you want to learn, as long as you think you are not special. There will be less ego inside you that reject and deny all failures and misery that happened. Step #1 : Stop thinking that you are special
- 37. Stop rushing into things just simply you are panicking, wow she get accepted into a university? I need to take whatever crappy and unsuitable university that accepted me. We are all known for our potentials of harnessing every information within our world, it is a shame should you rush into things and ended up regretting your decision Step #2 : Tame your generation C wildness
- 38. And stop being easily judgmental. It is okay to judge people because that is how us conclude a situation, that is one of our survival instinct, but dont let that overwhelm you with premature judgment of situation, other, and especially yourself. Take a breather and think it over, Step #2 : Tame your generation C wildness
- 39. There is no correct reality. It is a bias perception that is subjected to individuals. seeing a heavy rain is sad for a man going for a romantic outdoor dinner, but a blessing for farmers looking to irrigate his field Enrich your perspective and look around for what is really happening, and dont count only with social media, do really talk to people, observe, and evaluate accordingly Because Step #3 is recalibrating the FORMULA = 2 諮 ＄ 乞ヰ＄＄ = 倹 告 (＄ 乞ヰ＄＄ 巨 乞ヰ＄＄) 諮 = 告 Expectation
- 40. As well as there is no immortal expectation. We humans are evolving due to conditions of environment, I used to like my hometown Bukittinggi because its cool breeze, but living in Jakarta too long makes me uneasy to the cold temperature. Is temperature changing? Not really, it is my body that adapt its expectation of happiness so why couldnt you do the same? Because Step #3 is recalibrating the FORMULA = 2 諮 ＄ 乞ヰ＄＄ = ｐ ＄ ( ) 諮 = ＄ Expectation
- 41. Does that mean we need to lower our expectation as the time goes? Not really, Adjusted expectation can be bigger than initial expectation, Manny Pacquiao never really aimed to be a world champions, but as he discover his potentials, he adjusted the goal, and it works perfectly for him. He is Happy. Because Step #3 is recalibrating the FORMULA = 2 諮 ＄ 乞ヰ＄＄ = ｐ ＄ ( ) 諮 = ＄ Expectation
- 42. I will cover that later specifically in a separate topics, but whatever misery that happened because you are adhering to others judgment and perspective will only crush you alone, not them. Why benchmarking your happiness from what other see in you? Because the Key is Step #4 : Insecurity of being judged by others, are IDIOTIC
- 43. Ver 1.0 Copyrighted @aryomoedanton 2015 = ｐ ＄ (＄ 乞ヰ＄＄ 巨 乞ヰ＄＄) 諮 = ＄ Expectation Happy now?
- 44. PROFILE Aryo Moedanton Jakarta-born Minang descendant A passionate youth development activist, Aryo believes in the power of will and consistent relentless efforts. He currently professional development trainer as well as founder & CEO of Anakmuda.net When the student is ready, the teacher will appear -Buddha-
- 45. Jakarta-born Minang descendant with passion in youth, development and capacity building as a trainer and motivator Passionate Communicator Among others, Aryo is the champion of Junior Chamber International Asia Pacific Region 2015 , United Asia Debating Championship EFL Category 2010, as well as 5 times national debating champion in Indonesia Global Commitment and Contribution Aryo represented Indonesia in many international event such as AFS- YES United States of America 2007 2008, as well as became the Project Leader of ASEAN Youth Expo 2014 (10 countries, 7,000 participants) and Indonesia China Youth Exchange Program National Selection (1,566 Individuals) Summary PROFILE Aryo Moedanton
- 46. EXPERIENCES Up to date, Aryo has been working with more than 40 education institutions and 12 companies & government institutions in the last 4 years as Professional Development Speakers in various professional development skills. To name a few, He is a speaker in Youth for Colombia, entrepreneurship session, Bogota Colombia October 2015 ASEAN Republic of Korea for Woman and Youth Entrepreneur , Cambodia 2014 Brand Marketing, Ministry of Marine & Fisheries 2013 And some others Seminar on Indonesian Progressive Culture and Hospitality, University Prep, Seattle WA, 2008 Class Management, Putra Sampoerna Foundation 2014 Critical Thinking & Presentation Skills, Phillip Morris International / HM Sampoerna 2013 PROFILE Aryo Moedanton
- 47. Aryo is also exposed to various crucial elements of sustainable society, such as Entrepreneurial, and Youth Development thus increasing his versatility in facilitating. Entrepreneurial An entrepreneur since 2006 Owning 2 start up enterprises while building the third right now Field Practitioner Judge and Mentor for Development Bank of Singapore Social Venture Challenge Asia 2015 Youth Development Broadcaster for Greetings from America, a radio-based youth development platform 2007 - 2008 Founder and CEO of Anakmuda.net 2015 Member of the team for Strategic Long Term Planning Ministry of Youth and Sports Republic of Indonesia 2015 - 2035 MORE EXPOSURES PROFILE Aryo Moedanton
- 48. Lets Discuss more, should you have additional info that can be added, or want to know deeper about the topic(s), please contact me : @aryomoedanton aryo@aryomoedanton.com Ver 1.0 Copyrighted @aryomoedanton 2015