Working With Parents
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This document discusses working with parents in tennis coaching. It notes that parents can be both the greatest source of encouragement and stress for young athletes. The document explores the "parent paradox" where good intentions can lead to overinvolvement and pressure. It suggests that coaches communicate regularly with parents, set clear expectations, help parents understand the sport, and involve parents in the program to improve the coach-player-parent relationship.
Working With Parents
- 1. Tennis 10s Tutors Workshop and Coaches Seminar Athens 2009 Mark Tennant inspire2coach (GBR) Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 2. Working with parents Mark Tennant inspire2coach (GBR) Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 3. Introduction What do we think of tennis parents? Why is it so hard to be a tennis parent? The parent paradox How can we work with parents Parents and coaching Parents and competition Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 4. Key relationships COACH PLAYER PARENT Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 5. What do we think of tennis parents? Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 6. The parent paradox The good reasons we have for encouraging kids into sport can lead to behaviours which teach our kids bad habits! The love and support which parents have for their kids is also the cause of pressure which leads to stress and burn out Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 7. Good parent : bad parent Parents love their children but they get so involved that they ignore their childs feelings and think about their own Parents dream about success but sometimes forget about what the child wants Parents love their children so much that they make huge sacrifices for their children and end up putting huge pressures upon them Parents want their child to succeed so much that they hope other children will fail Parents want success so badly that they want winning at all costs Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 8. Good parent : bad parent The best parents are able to put their own desires aside and focus on what their children need The worst ones live their dreams through their children and push too hard Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 9. Good parent : bad parent The best parents are able to put their own desires aside and focus on what their children need When things are going well they are great parents; when things are going wrong they are bad parents! Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 10. A study from the 1988 Olympics 46 US athletes preparing for 1988 Games 95% said their parents were the main source of encouragement Many also said they were the greatest source of stress 35% said their mother discouraged them at times 25% said their father discouraged them Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 11. A study from the 1988 Olympics I didnt understand my dads harsh attitudes. I just wanted to go out and have fun, and my dad wanted me to go out there and kick ass. That took all the fun out of it for me. That meant you had to be mad all the time, and I didnt want to play like that Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 12. The positive and the negative ENCOURAGEMENT OVERINVOLVEMENT Watching the child play Watching every match the Shouting encouragement child plays Providing financial support Challenging the umpire, line Playing with the child calls or the opponent Organising or providing Wanting the very best of transport everything for their child Offering a time and support Pushing the child to do outside of the sport better Copyright (C) inspire2coach 2009 - www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 13. The positive and the negative GOOD ROLE MODEL POOR ROLE MODEL Correct and good Their child is always behaviour towards all more important competitors and Aggressive behaviour officials under pressure Remaining calm under Rewarding and always pressure talking about results Rewarding effort more than results Copyright (C) inspire2coach 2009 - www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 14. Helping parents There is no way to avoid the emotional pressure which parents feel when their kids compete Much of the bad behaviour shown by parents is due to lack of understanding Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 15. Talk to parents If parents dont know or dont understand, whose fault is that? Communicate regularly with parents on 1-1 basis De-briefs at end of each term Progress record card Discuss and agree goals with the parents Parents evenings Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 16. Talk to parents Remember - it is probable that you think that many tennis parents interfere, have unrealistic expectations or do not in some way help you do your job Parents ask questions They ask questions because they dont understand If they dont understand, whos fault is that! Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 17. Set expectations Have a charter or contract: This is what we expect from the coach This is what we expect from the player This is what we expect from the parents Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk
- 18. Involve the parents Help the parents to understand training methods Help the parents to understand how hard being a good tennis player is Involve the parents in officiating and other parts of the programme Invite parents to parties so they can have some fun too! Invite them to participate in an active way in the programme Copyright 息 inspire2coach 2009 www.inspire2coach.co.uk