I'm very old tom out of the three toms, old tom is somewhere else and dead tom's dead!
I'm a bit short on cash. Stuff I'll do for a fiver:
1) Act as look out-no questions asked
2) Sew on buttons
3) Perform as lead singer in your band
4) Substitute teacher for an hour
5) 30mins of private tuition on any aspect of molecular biology/genetics
6) Mow your lawn
7) 'Mow your lawn'
8) Proof-read your essay (max 3000 words)
9) Read to you (Per hour)
10) Big you up to that girl/guy you fancy
11) Down five shots of sambuca
12) Write you a sonnet
13) Give you a lift from Kegworth to SB, though not after 11
14) Paint your garage door
15) Paint your portrait ala Miro or Mondrian
16) Te
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