I want to feel good about myself. I want to hold myself in the esteem I used to hold myself into. I want to stop rating myself on the scales of social definitions. I want to be my own master. I do not want to be at the mercy of the externals. I want to be in control. I do not want to be helpless. I want to smile. I want to feel happy. I want to dance like nobody is watching. I want to live like I am immortal. I want to be in the moment. I want to love myself. I want to take pride in myself. I want my son to take pride in himself. I want to feel fulfilled. I do not want to give up. Yet I want to renounce. But I do not want to renounce because I gave up. He gave me what I am today. I want to g
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