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12 mind tricks that win people over and help you get ahead
- 1. 12 Mind Tricks That Win People Over and Help You Get Ahead Jul 15, 2015 Dr. Travis Bradberry Coauthor Emotional Intelligence 2.0 & President at TalentSmart When youre working hard and doing all you can to achieve your goals, anything that can give you an edge is powerful and will streamline yourpath to success. Mind tricks wont make you a Jedi, but using the brains natural quirks to your advantage can have a positive impact on everyone you encounter. None of these tricks are deceitful or disingenuous, except for number six, and I trust that youll only use that one with good reason. As soon as you become aware of these 12 tricks, they start popping up wherever you look. With minimal effort on yourpart, their unconscious influence on behavior can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life. 1. When a group of people laughs, each member of the group cant help but make eye contact with the person they feel closest to This trick can make you an astute observer of relationships of all types. It can tell you which members of yourteam are bonding and learning to trust one another, just as easily as it can tell you if you might have a shot at landing a date with a certain someone. Of course, youll learn a lot about how you feel
- 2. about other people just by paying attention to whom you make eye contact with. 2. When someone does a favor for you, it actually makes them like youmore When you convince someone to do you a favor, they unconsciously justify why they are willing to do so. Typical justifications include things such as hes my friend, I like him, and he seems like the kind of person who would return the favor. These justifications serve you perfectly. Not only did you just get help with something, but the other party also likes you more than they did before. 3. Silence gets answers When you ask someone a question and theyre slow to respond, dont feel pressure to move the conversation forward. Remaining silent plays to your advantage. Moments of silence make people feel as though they shouldspeak, especially when the ball is in their court. This is a great tool to use in negotiations and other difficult conversations. Just make certain you resist the urge to move the conversation forward until you get your answer. 4. Open hands and palms create trust Theres an employee policy at LEGOLAND that says whenever someone asks where something is, the employee presents (open-palm gesture) their directions instead of pointing them. This is because the open-palmed gesture conveys trust, making people more likely to agree with what youre saying and to find you friendly and likeable. Pointing, on the flip side, is generally seen as aggressive and rude.
- 3. 5. Nodding your head during a conversation or when asking a question makes the other person more likely to agree with what youre saying The next time you need to win someone overto yourway of thinking, try nodding your head as you speak. People unconsciously mirror the body language of those around them in order to better understand what other people are feeling. When you nod your head as you speak, you convey that what youre saying is true and desirable, and people are more inclined to agree with you. 6. If you have to tell a lie, add embarrassing details to make it more believable The more detailed a lie is, the more likely people are to believe it. When you add detail, people begin to put a picture to your story. When you includeembarrassing details, the picture becomes all the more vivid and believable. After all, if you were going to make up a story, you would be much more inclined to make yourself look good. 7. People remember unfinished things better The natural tendency to remember unfinishedthings is called the Zeigarnik effect. Ever notice how some television commercials get cut off early? The company paying for the commercial cuts it off so that it sticks in your head longer than other commercials. The best way to forget unfinishedthings (commercials or songs) is to finish them in your head. If a song gets stuck in your head, try singing the last lines to yourself. Youll be amazed how quickly it goes away. 8. Chew gum to relax and focus
- 4. Chewing gum actually lowers your cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for stress. But chewing gum doesnt just reduce stress, it also makes you more alert and improves yourperformance in memory-orientedtasks. It does so by increasing the blood flow to your brain and alerting your senses. When you experience a stressful situation while chewing gum, yourbody is less likely to go into the primal fight-or-flight mode (which results in poor decisions and inability to focus). 9. Peoples feet reveal their interest When talking to someone, pay attention to their feet. If their feet are aimed at you, theyre interested and listening to what youre saying, but if their feet point away from you, theyre most likely disinterested and mentally checked out. 10. When you meet someone new, work their name into the conversation in order to remember it The goal here is to repeat their name three times in the first five minutes. It works extremely well, but the trick is to do it naturally. When you rattle off their name unnecessarily, it sounds foolish and awkward. Try to use phrases like Hello ____,Nice to meet you _____,and Where are you from _____. 11. Showing excitement makes other people like you This one goes back to the idea that we mirror the behavior of those around us. If you show excitement when you see someone, they naturally mirror that excitement back at you. Its an easy way to make a strong first impression and to get people to like you.
- 5. 12. Maintain eye contact for 60% of a conversation The key to eye contact is balance. While its important to maintain eye contact, doing so 100% of the time is perceived as aggressive and creepy. At the same time, if you only maintain eye contact for a small portion of the conversation, youll come across as disinterested, shy, or embarrassed. Maintaining eye contact for roughly 60% of a conversation comes across as interested, friendly, and trustworthy. Bringing It All Together Give these tricks a try, and youre bound to notice a difference in how people respond to you. Have you ever tried any of these? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-authorof the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounderof TalentSmart, the world's leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, TIME, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.
- 6. If you'd like to learn how to increase your emotional intelligence (EQ), consider taking the online Emotional Intelligence Appraisal速 test that's included with theEmotional Intelligence 2.0 book. Your test results will pinpoint which of the book's 66 emotional intelligence strategies will increase your EQ the most.