Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict
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This document discusses strategies for building confidence and credibility when facing conflicts. It recommends using a co-creation approach to address interests of both parties and find mutual gains. Co-creation involves building on each other's ideas using responses like "Yes, and..." to reduce fear and increase understanding. Exercises are provided to practice co-creation, such as collaboratively telling a story. The document advises using "you" and "I" messages to openly share interests and perspectives to better understand each other and find solutions where both sides' needs are met.
Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict
- 1. Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict Rob BuccinoGuest Presenter, Metro Mentoring ProgramNeoCortex Consulting Group
- 2. Our interestsTheir interestsWhen do we need confidence and credibility?In conflict
- 3. Conflicts are everywhereGetting heardGetting respectAsking for a raiseSellingDealing with your kidsGetting promotedDelegatingSetting prioritiesMaking group choices
- 4. How do we usually feelwhen facing conflicts?
- 5. FightFleeWe have choices in how wedeal with our fearCompromiseCo-creationFreeze
- 6. Our choices influence our confidence and credibilityFlee Freeze Fight Compromise Co-createLessMore
- 7. Why co-create?Reduces fear and increases optimismAddresses your interests AND theirsCan increase the overall ‘win’ (vs. compromise)Increases understanding and empathy
- 8. How to co-create“Yes,but….”“Yes, 补苍诲….”
- 9. Exercising co-creation: “A story that’s never been told”Group picks a topicTwo volunteersEach person says one sentenceNext person says, “Yes, and…” before continuing the storyDo NOT say, “Yes, but…” or just “Yes”Continue until told to stop
- 10. What obstacles block accepting another’s ideas?How does it feel to have your ideas consistently accepted and built on?In what ways could you use co-creation to build confidence and credibility in your work?
- 11. Learning through listening is a keyto co-creationProbe their interests
- 12. Declare your own
- 13. Create options for mutual gains Confirm understanding with ‘you-messages’“Sounds like…”
- 17. “I see…”The essentials: “You” and “I” Declare your interests with‘I-messages’“Hear me out…”
- 18. “I feel…”
- 19. “I’m thinking…”
- 20. “I’m concerned…”
- 21. “Do you see…”Scenario:the performance reviewOn a five-point scale, your boss gave you a “3” for “takes initiative”You want your level of initiative to be given greater recognition
- 22. Group exerciseCreate a “you-message” that helps surface the boss’ interestsCreate an “I-message” that helps you declare your interestsHow would you go aboutco-creating mutual gains?
- 23. Discussion
- 24. One other thing to think about…
- 25. Credibility thrives on accountabilityChoose your commitmentsTimelines & specificationsNot what you “can do,” but “will do”
- 26. In conclusion:from conflict can come creativity, confidence, and credibility…
- 27. Eleanor Roosevelt"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must stop and look fear in the face."?
- 28. Hamilton Mabie“Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind.”
Editor's Notes
- #20: The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live though that you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, `I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.You Learn By Living (1960), 29-30