際際滷

際際滷Share a Scribd company logo
1
Keeping up with the Joneses, and the Khumalos, and Richardsons
The stress of social networking
By Janine Shamos
BBM, Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Myspace, LinkedIn, MXIT. Everyday millions
of people interact, share, socialise and connect with each other via technology. Tweets
take the place of debates, SMSing replaces conversations, and gone are the days of taking
out the home-videos or photograph albums after dinner  now Facebook says it all, shows
it all. Instant gratification, instant fame. But keeping up with the Joneses comes with a
high price tag.
I have a routine, says 30-year-old teacher Lauren. I check BBM, then Facebook, then
Whassup, then email. Every hour  more if its quiet. I need to see who is doing what,
and where and with whom. Its become almost an obsession and Lauren fears that she
isnt up to date with whats happening. Secretly, she fears that her life isnt as interesting
as everyone elses. Shes not alone.
Peer pressure. We talk a lot about teenagers being under pressure to conform and perform
according to teen rules and norms. But what of adults? We compare our lives, our likes
and dislikes, our interests and opinions with our peers. We feel compelled to be like
them. To agree, conform, and outperform those in our group. Social Networks shift the
focus from our lives to everyone elses, and act as an instant gauge of social acceptance.
People tend to like what their peers like, and want what their peers have, says Cassey
Chambers of the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG).
Who has more friends on Facebook? Who has a bigger following on Twitter? Who has
been tagged in more photographs? Social Networkers like Lauren keep a watchful eye on
whats hip and happening. They Tweet their activities, Facebook their statuses, and
BBM their most private thoughts. I want to think people care what I am doing, and care
what I think about things, says Lauren. Social networking is the phenomenon of the 21st
century, and everyone it seems, wants to be part of it. People want to be part of
something greater than themselves. Social networking allows them this opportunity 
even if theyre living in a sleepy town miles from anything exciting, says Chambers.
This need to be accepted and connect can lead to stress. I feel panicky if a potential
boyfriend doesnt respond to a post or message, says Lauren. We check up on friends,
ex-friends, ex-lovers, we interpret what they have said or done, we take their posts and
pictures personally. And we feel betrayed and rejected. I think I base a lot of my
relationships on whats happening in my Social Networking life. Twenty percent of
divorce petitions in the US cited Facebook  people get involved with explicit online
chats, flaunt indiscretions on social networking sites, as foster jealousy by searching
social networks for information about a partners behaviour, says Chambers. The
question is who are we connecting with? Through Social Networks we can be whoever
we want to be. We can create ourselves and our lives. Like many people, Laurens online
2
life is more successful than her real one. I can be charming, flirty, fun. But in person, on
a date, I freeze  and can only talk about how stressed I am! I also keep checking my
phone!
While we all want to feel popular, but popularity in cyberspace isnt real or accurate.
Weve forgotten who we are and many of us feel pressured to live up to who we say we
are. But links in cyberspace are not the same as real-life connections. The more
connected we are on Social Networks, the less connected we are to the people who
share our lives, it seems. I have 101 friends on Facebook who I have never met,
friends who I dont know anything about except what they tell me, and friends who
wouldnt recognise me in a coffee bar, says Lauren. Lack of meaningful human
relationships can result in loneliness, stress and depression. Venting online is not the
same as getting a hug, and being popular in cybersociety is no substitute for real-life
companionship.
Social Networking has created a transformation not seen since the Industrial Revolution.
New friends, up-to-the-minute social news, flirting, potential business contacts, being the
centre of your world - there is no doubt that mediums like Facebook, Twitter, Myspace
and YouTube are attractive and powerful. They can also be addictive and depressing.
Technology is wonderful - in moderation. We should use it, not the other way round. So
if youre feeling stressed and pressurized to outperform your peers in cyberspace,
remember: nobody really has 1 625 friends.

More Related Content

What's hot (20)

Is social media really making us antisocial?
Is social media really making us antisocial?Is social media really making us antisocial?
Is social media really making us antisocial?
Motsamai Sibanyoni
Social media presentation
Social media presentationSocial media presentation
Social media presentation
morganbrownlee
5 things to think about before pressing
5 things to think about before pressing5 things to think about before pressing
5 things to think about before pressing
Lisa Stack
Friends of grief
Friends of griefFriends of grief
Friends of grief
megmmcintyre
Social media
Social mediaSocial media
Social media
Kamster120
Inside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-network
Inside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-networkInside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-network
Inside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-network
Marites "Zheyme" Manahan
Western Dating
Western DatingWestern Dating
Western Dating
Tom Clowers
Flipbook
FlipbookFlipbook
Flipbook
aaronrichler
Hiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a Shield
Hiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a ShieldHiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a Shield
Hiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a Shield
Bryn Berry
Facebook Addiction
Facebook AddictionFacebook Addiction
Facebook Addiction
Fizza Naeem
Long Story
Long Story Long Story
Long Story
Miriam Verburg
Chapter 16 the dating game
Chapter 16 the dating gameChapter 16 the dating game
Chapter 16 the dating game
lbonner1987
Funny addiction to facebook
Funny addiction to facebookFunny addiction to facebook
Funny addiction to facebook
zaman26
Friendship Tip #1
Friendship Tip #1Friendship Tip #1
Friendship Tip #1
Cicely Majeed
Presentation1
Presentation1Presentation1
Presentation1
Alexei Leathley
Essay5
Essay5Essay5
Essay5
Lucas Somma
Some Positive Effects of Social Media on Teenagers
Some Positive Effects of Social Media on TeenagersSome Positive Effects of Social Media on Teenagers
Some Positive Effects of Social Media on Teenagers
digiinfosoft
Things to consider to keep a strong peer relationship
Things to consider to keep a strong peer relationshipThings to consider to keep a strong peer relationship
Things to consider to keep a strong peer relationship
Kristel Lyn Saldivar
Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017
Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017
Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017
swikrit145
Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)
Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)
Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)
misspwalsh
Is social media really making us antisocial?
Is social media really making us antisocial?Is social media really making us antisocial?
Is social media really making us antisocial?
Motsamai Sibanyoni
Social media presentation
Social media presentationSocial media presentation
Social media presentation
morganbrownlee
5 things to think about before pressing
5 things to think about before pressing5 things to think about before pressing
5 things to think about before pressing
Lisa Stack
Friends of grief
Friends of griefFriends of grief
Friends of grief
megmmcintyre
Social media
Social mediaSocial media
Social media
Kamster120
Inside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-network
Inside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-networkInside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-network
Inside out-of-social-media-an-emotional-journey-to-social-network
Marites "Zheyme" Manahan
Western Dating
Western DatingWestern Dating
Western Dating
Tom Clowers
Hiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a Shield
Hiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a ShieldHiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a Shield
Hiding: Exploring the Use of Social Media as a Shield
Bryn Berry
Facebook Addiction
Facebook AddictionFacebook Addiction
Facebook Addiction
Fizza Naeem
Chapter 16 the dating game
Chapter 16 the dating gameChapter 16 the dating game
Chapter 16 the dating game
lbonner1987
Funny addiction to facebook
Funny addiction to facebookFunny addiction to facebook
Funny addiction to facebook
zaman26
Friendship Tip #1
Friendship Tip #1Friendship Tip #1
Friendship Tip #1
Cicely Majeed
Some Positive Effects of Social Media on Teenagers
Some Positive Effects of Social Media on TeenagersSome Positive Effects of Social Media on Teenagers
Some Positive Effects of Social Media on Teenagers
digiinfosoft
Things to consider to keep a strong peer relationship
Things to consider to keep a strong peer relationshipThings to consider to keep a strong peer relationship
Things to consider to keep a strong peer relationship
Kristel Lyn Saldivar
Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017
Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017
Social media by swikrit bhandari #scichallenge 2017
swikrit145
Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)
Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)
Facebook for Educators and Community Leaders (Property of Facebook)
misspwalsh

Similar to Keeping up with the Joneses (17)

Cms298 presentation
Cms298 presentationCms298 presentation
Cms298 presentation
laurenbatherson
Cms298 presentation
Cms298 presentationCms298 presentation
Cms298 presentation
laurenbatherson
My media presentation
My media presentationMy media presentation
My media presentation
jackieneville097
Media bullying presentation
Media bullying presentationMedia bullying presentation
Media bullying presentation
nehanda123
Media bullying presentation
Media bullying presentationMedia bullying presentation
Media bullying presentation
blisshennessy
Formal - APA Writing Sample
Formal - APA Writing Sample Formal - APA Writing Sample
Formal - APA Writing Sample
Steph S.
Disadvantages of social media
Disadvantages of social mediaDisadvantages of social media
Disadvantages of social media
Atif Salar
The Effects of Twitter.docx
                                          The Effects of Twitter.docx                                          The Effects of Twitter.docx
The Effects of Twitter.docx
joyjonna282
Paper 3
Paper 3Paper 3
Paper 3
laurenjones33
Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation
Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation
Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation
Malcolm McKenzie
Cyberbullying by Mia
Cyberbullying by MiaCyberbullying by Mia
Cyberbullying by Mia
Marq2014
Bullying in social media presentation
Bullying in social media presentationBullying in social media presentation
Bullying in social media presentation
mitchell_shannon
Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On
Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated OnUnexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On
Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On
IgnacioMaxwell
Portfolio amy hyeinpark
Portfolio amy hyeinparkPortfolio amy hyeinpark
Portfolio amy hyeinpark
AmyHyeinPk
linkedin online dating
linkedin online dating linkedin online dating
linkedin online dating
Kelly Reed
Social media dangers
Social media dangersSocial media dangers
Social media dangers
Saman Sara
Surname 1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docx
Surname     1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docxSurname     1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docx
Surname 1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docx
mattinsonjanel
Media bullying presentation
Media bullying presentationMedia bullying presentation
Media bullying presentation
nehanda123
Media bullying presentation
Media bullying presentationMedia bullying presentation
Media bullying presentation
blisshennessy
Formal - APA Writing Sample
Formal - APA Writing Sample Formal - APA Writing Sample
Formal - APA Writing Sample
Steph S.
Disadvantages of social media
Disadvantages of social mediaDisadvantages of social media
Disadvantages of social media
Atif Salar
The Effects of Twitter.docx
                                          The Effects of Twitter.docx                                          The Effects of Twitter.docx
The Effects of Twitter.docx
joyjonna282
Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation
Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation
Reading Facebook: An Act of Isolation
Malcolm McKenzie
Cyberbullying by Mia
Cyberbullying by MiaCyberbullying by Mia
Cyberbullying by Mia
Marq2014
Bullying in social media presentation
Bullying in social media presentationBullying in social media presentation
Bullying in social media presentation
mitchell_shannon
Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On
Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated OnUnexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On
Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On
IgnacioMaxwell
Portfolio amy hyeinpark
Portfolio amy hyeinparkPortfolio amy hyeinpark
Portfolio amy hyeinpark
AmyHyeinPk
linkedin online dating
linkedin online dating linkedin online dating
linkedin online dating
Kelly Reed
Social media dangers
Social media dangersSocial media dangers
Social media dangers
Saman Sara
Surname 1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docx
Surname     1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docxSurname     1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docx
Surname 1NameInstructorCourseDateThe Effec.docx
mattinsonjanel

More from Janine Shamos (10)

A new year
A new year A new year
A new year
Janine Shamos
Peer Pressure
Peer PressurePeer Pressure
Peer Pressure
Janine Shamos
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Janine Shamos
Bully or victim
Bully or victimBully or victim
Bully or victim
Janine Shamos
Death in the schoolyard
Death in the schoolyardDeath in the schoolyard
Death in the schoolyard
Janine Shamos
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Janine Shamos
Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)
Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)
Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)
Janine Shamos
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Janine Shamos
Peer Pressure
Peer PressurePeer Pressure
Peer Pressure
Janine Shamos
Janine Lisa Shamos CV
Janine Lisa Shamos CVJanine Lisa Shamos CV
Janine Lisa Shamos CV
Janine Shamos
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Janine Shamos
Death in the schoolyard
Death in the schoolyardDeath in the schoolyard
Death in the schoolyard
Janine Shamos
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Janine Shamos
Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)
Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)
Janine Lisa Shamos CV (2016)
Janine Shamos
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-Down in the dumps or depressed-
Down in the dumps or depressed-
Janine Shamos
Janine Lisa Shamos CV
Janine Lisa Shamos CVJanine Lisa Shamos CV
Janine Lisa Shamos CV
Janine Shamos

Keeping up with the Joneses

  • 1. 1 Keeping up with the Joneses, and the Khumalos, and Richardsons The stress of social networking By Janine Shamos BBM, Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Myspace, LinkedIn, MXIT. Everyday millions of people interact, share, socialise and connect with each other via technology. Tweets take the place of debates, SMSing replaces conversations, and gone are the days of taking out the home-videos or photograph albums after dinner now Facebook says it all, shows it all. Instant gratification, instant fame. But keeping up with the Joneses comes with a high price tag. I have a routine, says 30-year-old teacher Lauren. I check BBM, then Facebook, then Whassup, then email. Every hour more if its quiet. I need to see who is doing what, and where and with whom. Its become almost an obsession and Lauren fears that she isnt up to date with whats happening. Secretly, she fears that her life isnt as interesting as everyone elses. Shes not alone. Peer pressure. We talk a lot about teenagers being under pressure to conform and perform according to teen rules and norms. But what of adults? We compare our lives, our likes and dislikes, our interests and opinions with our peers. We feel compelled to be like them. To agree, conform, and outperform those in our group. Social Networks shift the focus from our lives to everyone elses, and act as an instant gauge of social acceptance. People tend to like what their peers like, and want what their peers have, says Cassey Chambers of the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG). Who has more friends on Facebook? Who has a bigger following on Twitter? Who has been tagged in more photographs? Social Networkers like Lauren keep a watchful eye on whats hip and happening. They Tweet their activities, Facebook their statuses, and BBM their most private thoughts. I want to think people care what I am doing, and care what I think about things, says Lauren. Social networking is the phenomenon of the 21st century, and everyone it seems, wants to be part of it. People want to be part of something greater than themselves. Social networking allows them this opportunity even if theyre living in a sleepy town miles from anything exciting, says Chambers. This need to be accepted and connect can lead to stress. I feel panicky if a potential boyfriend doesnt respond to a post or message, says Lauren. We check up on friends, ex-friends, ex-lovers, we interpret what they have said or done, we take their posts and pictures personally. And we feel betrayed and rejected. I think I base a lot of my relationships on whats happening in my Social Networking life. Twenty percent of divorce petitions in the US cited Facebook people get involved with explicit online chats, flaunt indiscretions on social networking sites, as foster jealousy by searching social networks for information about a partners behaviour, says Chambers. The question is who are we connecting with? Through Social Networks we can be whoever we want to be. We can create ourselves and our lives. Like many people, Laurens online
  • 2. 2 life is more successful than her real one. I can be charming, flirty, fun. But in person, on a date, I freeze and can only talk about how stressed I am! I also keep checking my phone! While we all want to feel popular, but popularity in cyberspace isnt real or accurate. Weve forgotten who we are and many of us feel pressured to live up to who we say we are. But links in cyberspace are not the same as real-life connections. The more connected we are on Social Networks, the less connected we are to the people who share our lives, it seems. I have 101 friends on Facebook who I have never met, friends who I dont know anything about except what they tell me, and friends who wouldnt recognise me in a coffee bar, says Lauren. Lack of meaningful human relationships can result in loneliness, stress and depression. Venting online is not the same as getting a hug, and being popular in cybersociety is no substitute for real-life companionship. Social Networking has created a transformation not seen since the Industrial Revolution. New friends, up-to-the-minute social news, flirting, potential business contacts, being the centre of your world - there is no doubt that mediums like Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and YouTube are attractive and powerful. They can also be addictive and depressing. Technology is wonderful - in moderation. We should use it, not the other way round. So if youre feeling stressed and pressurized to outperform your peers in cyberspace, remember: nobody really has 1 625 friends.