Marc Firestone: 15 Ways to Calm a Fight
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Marc Firestone Life Insurance lists and explains 15 Ways to Calm a Fight in a marriage or relationship.
![Gently ask follow-up questions.
Tone is everything during conflict. The way you say something oftentimes is more
important than even what youre even saying. Use diffusing question phrases, such as Can
you explain that a bit more? or Tell me how [blank] made you feel. The gentle questions
will make your partner feel listened to rather than attacked. Then ask them to use the same
technique for you.](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/15waystocalmafight-160607195345/85/Marc-Firestone-15-Ways-to-Calm-a-Fight-12-320.jpg)
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Marc Firestone: 15 Ways to Calm a Fight
- 1. 15 Ways to Calm a Fight Marc Firestone
- 2. No one enjoys fighting with their partner. The arguments and accusations are draining, and it can take hours even days to come down from the aftermath. Yet the fact remains simple: Every couple fights at some point or another. Yet how every couple handles conflict and deals with the tense, emotionally charged atmosphere packaged within disagreement says a lot about the relationships health.
- 3. Its what marriage counsellors have dubbed fighting fair, a series of relationship-focused techniques centered on keeping disagreements structured, tempers even, and words and emotions calm. Decreased resentment and animosity, quicker conversation turnaround, and overall happiness boosts in partner communication and attraction. The results?
- 4. Bear a few of these cool down tips in mind next time you and your partner are in an argument and youre looking to calm things down:
- 5. Take deep breaths. The trick is as old as time or at least as old as neuroscientists proving the calming effects of deep, steady breathing. A deep breath will literally slow your physiological reactions down so you can think and speak clearer, diffusing the argument.
- 6. Hold hands. Even in the peak of heat arguing, holding hands brings a layer of intimacy and connection between the pair of you. It wont solve any of the issues on the table, but it will soften the mood almost instantaneously.
- 7. Give compliments. This one can be tricky, but verbally recalling what you love about your partner goes a long way in moments when you only feel negatively toward them. Dont be afraid to ask for a compliment or two in return!
- 8. Put on calm music. Music is one of the most well-researched methods of reducing stress. When your physical surroundings are telling your senses to bring it down a notch, your emotions will follow suit.
- 9. Do not interrupt. We repeat: Do NOT interrupt your partner. Nothing good comes when youre repeatedly cutting off the other person. This will only make matters worse.
- 10. Never follow an apology with a but Your partner will only hear what comes after, and it will feel like youre throwing further jabs.
- 11. Cuddle Similar to when you hold hands, your brain registers the enveloping touch as signs of warmth and protection definitely a good way to start calming a fight!
- 12. Gently ask follow-up questions. Tone is everything during conflict. The way you say something oftentimes is more important than even what youre even saying. Use diffusing question phrases, such as Can you explain that a bit more? or Tell me how [blank] made you feel. The gentle questions will make your partner feel listened to rather than attacked. Then ask them to use the same technique for you.
- 13. Apologize Even if you really, really dont think you did anything wrong, you should always apologize for hurting the other person.
- 14. Paraphrase Repeating what you believe your partner is trying to express is another great gesture to make them feel heard. Doing so in steady and non-accusational tones works even better.
- 15. Do something comedic/ridiculous Laughter is an immediate de-stresser. If you can infuse a little humor into the situation, you will practically feel the tension breaking from the room and the argument beginning to heal.
- 16. Light a candle Aromatherapy, either through candles or essential oils, signals your brain to relax due to the peaceful environment. For as odd as it sounds, marriage counselors often suggest couples air out grievances in softly lit, pleasant-smelling spaces to stimulate mental soothing agents.
- 17. Step outside. Theres a reason people listen to nature soundtracks in order to fall asleep. The outdoors can have a profound impact on our mood, positively stimulating neurons in our brain and awakening our five senses. Try stepping outside with your partner, taking a moment to feel the breeze, bask in sunlight, or walk in warm grass before picking up the conversation.
- 18. Say I love you. Theres nothing more potent in calming a fight then reminding your partner of your unconditional love.